“No, no, no! Nicky, dear, you’ve got it all wrong! It’s left, right, down, over! Try it with me,” Fatima Robinson, the Backstreet Boys choreographer cried out in annoyance.
“Let him be, Fatima. He needs to be alone for awhile,” Brian told her.
“I give up,” sighed Nick, he sulked away. I’m screwing everything up. What’s wrong with me? Nick lifted the curtains that lead to backstage, the whole thing collapsed. “Great, I’m a walking disaster as well,” he muttered as he saw some people running towards the curtains, trying to fix it back in place. He walked away, and sat down in one of the red velvet chairs. Something was bothering him. And he knew what it was. Oh God I wish I could forget her. He rubbed his forehead. Looking into the mirror, he realized that he couldn’t look anymore terrible than he already did. His eyes looked sunken and is face looked drained and there was a hint of grey. His once golden clean locks were now in knots and all over the place. He tried to smile, but he couldn’t, his cheek muscles hurt too much. He felt paralyzed, not a single muscle in his body was functioning properly. Or was it just that he felt this way? How am I going to live through this for another eight months? He leaned closer to the mirror and looked into his own eyes. They looked dull and empty. His heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly. Nothing felt right. In his mind, he knew that he couldn’t put up with this any longer. Gathering his courage and strength, he grabbed his mobile phone and his coat hanging on the back of the chair and ran out the hall. He used every bit of his energy to wave a taxi over. “Airport please.”
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“Where do you think he went?” Howie asked curiously. They all stopped practicing their routines.
“What does he think he’s doing?” Kevin asked angrily, “The concert is only two days away and he goes running off because he’s in love.”
“Hey, back off a little ok Kev?” Brian told his cousin as he continued to look at the swinging doors.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
“I’m sorry Mr. Carter, but all the flights to London are full. There is nothing I can do for you. The earliest flight there is, is on Sunday at seven in the morning. Would you like to take that? That flight is getting quite full and we cannot hold the seat for anyone. If you miss that one, the next earliest flight would have to be on the next day at six am,” the lady dressed in red behind the counter said.
“Sunday, that’s when the concert is…” he drifted off and remained silent, thinking.
The lady lifted one eyebrow and tapped her finger impatiently on her desk. “So Mr. Carter, would you care to make your decision a little bit faster because the line is building up,” she put on a fake smile.
“Oh yes, um, yes I’ll take that…”
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Nick walked away from the counter, unsure of what he has just done. Slipping away from a concert? It didn’t seem likely. They’re going to kill me he thought, his stomach sinking deeper and deeper. “I might as well be dead if I don’t see her again,” he murmured as he stopped to watch a plane rising up into the clouds. “I just hope that I will find her again.”
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
“Where did you go? Do you know how worried we were, Nick? Don’t walk off like that again,” Brian said softly to Nick when he had returned. Kevin hadn’t bothered to yell at him, he just glared at him and returned to the magazine he was reading. Howie just gave him a sympathetic smile and AJ was too busy designing a new tattoo for himself to notice that Nick had walked into the bus.
“I had to clear out some things in my head, so I went for a walk,” he walked towards his bunk which was directly below Brian’s and threw his bag onto it. His airline ticket fell out of an open pocket in his bag. Brian picked it up.
“What’s this? You’re going back?” Brian asked incredulously.
Nick turned around, his shirt half on, half off. He pulled down the rest of it and grabbed the ticket from him and stuffed it into his pockets, “It’s none of your business.”
“Yes it is Nick, are you really going back to find her? On the day of the concert as well? Do you even realize what you are doing?” Brian breathed in deeply as if to control his anger. He tried to be patient with Nick but sometimes, he was so childish and just simply immature that it was near impossible to put up with him. He kept his voice down, in case Kevin would hear. He knew that his cousin would have a fit and would never let Nick go, not that he wanted him to.
Nick didn’t answer. He sat down on his bunk with Brian staring down at him, expecting an answer. Finally, he looked up at him with tears in his eyes and whispered, “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”