[=chapter eight=]

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“Come on, come on pick up!” Nick muttered impatiently as he held the receiver in his hand, waiting for the other line to respond.

“Hello?”

“Yo Bri! It’s me, I’ve got good news–”

“You found her?” Brian asked, surprised. He didn’t think that Nick would find her so quickly, he had estimated about 2 weeks or more.

“Yeah, yeah that’s it but um,” he glanced over to Autumn. He cupped his hand over the receiver and asked her again, “Are you sure you don’t want to go on tour with me?” she shook her head slowly, as if she was regretting it, “Alright,” he lifted his hand, “but um, I won’t be coming back.”

“What?!”

“Uh, yeah Bri, she doesn’t want to.”

“Have you any idea when you’ll be coming back?”

“Shh Bri, the whole world can hear you. I don’t want the others to know.”

“But Nick, you have to come back sooner or later. You can’t hide forever. Why can’t she come with us?”

“I don’t know, okay?”

“Let me talk to her.”

Nick didn’t say anything, and then finally, “Are you sure?”

“Just let me talk to her!” Nick shrugged and gave the phone to Autumn. She blinked back in surprise but took it.

“Hello?”

“Listen Autumn, I understand your relationship with Nick is quite well right now and he hasn’t ever felt the way about anyone else like the way he feels about you… but uh, but he needs to come back. We need him. But you see the problem is, Nick isn’t willing to leave you. Please, could you please just come with us on tour so that the Backstreet Boys would still be the Backstreet Boys? You would still get to see him and although I can’t guarantee 24/7, you’d be seeing each other pretty much. Please, could you do this for us? Please?”

Autumn thought for a moment. The truth was, she wanted to die peacefully, in her hometown, London. She didn’t want to go to some foreign place and die there. All she wanted was for Nick to be with her, her last remaining weeks, was that too much to ask for? They didn’t understand, yet she didn’t want to tell them. She knew that she was being very selfish about this but she knew that being with Nick would hurt him more but she couldn’t take back that mistake. It was already done and all she could do now is live with it until she dies. She really didn’t know that she’d ruin Nick’s whole life.

“Well?”

She hesitated, “Yes Brian, I promise you, we will come back.”

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

“But Autumn, this isn’t your problem. This is me wanting to stay away from publicity and be alone, here with you. I want to spend time with you. Don’t listen to that bullshit Brian is giving you. He knows how busy we would be when we go on tour. He knows his relationship with Leighanne is on the rocks because he rarely gets to see her. Don’t you see Autumn? I don’t want us to be like that, I want us to be together – forever,” gazed intensely into her eyes and shook her shoulders as if to wake her.

“Nick, I’m only a phase in your life. Once you get over it, you’ll wonder why you sacrificed everything for just a little phase. It’s not worth it Nick. Trust me. We would still be together when we go on tour. If you love someone, then no matter how little you see them, things would never change. I don’t want to hold you down from everything you could achieve. Don’t you see Nick? I’m not worth it. I shouldn’t even leave with you, but now I am because I don’t want you to hate me – do you see what I mean now Nick?”

“Oh Autumn,” he pulled her close and embraced her, “I will always love you.”

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

“That was Nick wasn’t it?”

Brian turned around. It was Kevin. He had come out of the bathroom, managing to listen to everything that Brian said. There was no use in lying, Kevin knew, “Why do you bother asking when you already know who it is?”

“When is he coming back?”

All of a sudden, Brian felt angry and annoyed at Kevin, “Why do you care? You were practically the one that freaked him out and pushed him to run away! I really don’t understand you, why do you always have to be so tough on him? Don’t you trust him?”

“Brian, I’ve thought it over, I’m not angry – well, okay, I am, but I forgive him–”

“Yes, he was wrong about not discussing about this with us first but he only did what his heart told him to do, he only did what made him happy. He’s only doing this for himself, and not for us. We don’t have to force him Kev, he can do whatever he likes. How can you be so cold?”

“Listen Bri, I understand and I am not mad at him, and I don’t care what he does. But don’t you think that he is so irresponsible for his actions – in other words selfish? How can he just walk off like that when he has so much here, and we depend on him so much?”

“I know that, and I can’t explain that. Only he knows what he feels and we can’t tell him what to do. He’s coming back but I don’t know when.”

“Good.”

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

“Hey! I told you we were destined to be together!”

Nick turned around to face… Alicia. Autumn looked up at him questioningly. He let out a laugh. Alicia seemed like a nightmare, “Hi,” he said.

“Hey, so this must be your little sister eh?” she smiled sweetly at Autumn.

“No this is–”

“So where are you going?” she interrupted.

Nick leaned over and whispered in Autumn’s ear, Just wait until she starts to ‘like’. Autumn smiled, “Where are you going? I thought your grandma was in the hospital or something.”

“Oh yeah, that! Well, like, you see, when I like got to the hospital, they like, told me that my grandmother like, died and I was like, so totally shocked. I was like about to cry when like my grandma like came up to me and like asked me like, what was wrong. I thought I was like dreaming, but then when I like looked up, it was like, really my grandma and then I like screamed at the nurses for making me so embarrassed! I mean like, crying in public? That is like so totally not me.” Nick looked over to Autumn knowingly, “Anyway, so who is this Nick, you still like haven’t told me yet and yes I like accept your apology.”

“What this time?” Nick asked.

“For not like calling me and like asking me out, duh! But I do like understand your like shyness problem so it doesn’t like matter that much so as long as you like ask me out now, everything is cool, but really, you should like, really try to like, overcome that problem. I mean like, it’s not everyday that you like meet someone as understanding as me.”

Nick bit his lower lip, she was so funny. He held onto Autumn’s hand and said, “This is my girlfriend Autumn, Alicia and I am sorry that I won’t be able to ask you out.”

She gave a doubtful glance to Autumn and then sighed. “Damn, if you like called me earlier, then you wouldn’t like have met her man! I mean, I knew you like, liked me the moment you like saw me it’s just your stupid shy problem again. Damn. You are like so lucky girl,” she smiled and draped her arm over Autumn, “I bet you guys are going over to Germany?”

“Yeah we are. How’d you know?” Nick answered, surprised at Alicia’s quick recovery.

“Instinct I guess. I’m like going over to Germany as well.”

“Don’t tell me you’re sitting next to me again, cause if you are, then I’m requesting for a different seat!” Nick joked.

“Ha, we’ll see! So maybe I’ll like see you later! Bye!” Alicia walked away with her luggage and waving goodbye.

“She’s actually quite nice once you get to know her,” Nick commented when Alicia went away.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Is something wrong?” Nick asked.

“Nothing, why would anything be wrong?”

“Oh, um, it just sounded like you were uh, never mind. Let’s check in first.”

“Sure.”

Nick glanced strangely at Autumn wondering what he did wrong to make Autumn seem so unhappy. He took her to a corner and asked her, “Did I do something wrong? Tell me Autumn,” he brushed her silky hair out of her face and looked at her. He wanted to so much to kiss her. To hold her in his arms and kiss her all over.

“Nothing’s wrong Nick. Trust me,” Autumn forced a smile on her face. Truth was, she had begun to feel pain on her right leg since last night and she knew that she didn’t have long to live. All of a sudden, she felt sad, and she knew that she didn’t want to leave Nick. She gazed at her angel once more, and she could feel the tear trickling down her cheek. She dropped her bag and hugged Nick tightly, knowing that it would probably be one of the last times that she would ever do that.