Nick watched as Autumn was asleep. He could hear her breathing lightly next to him. Her chest heaved in and out as he thought of how perfect his life was now that Autumn was with him. But still so, he felt that something was bothering Autumn, something was bothering her. He didn’t know what and she hadn’t opened up to him yet. He didn’t want to force her but he really didn’t want to see her unhappy anymore. As he leaned back in his seat, he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Autumn couldn’t open her eyes. The pain had come back and she felt that her entire leg was paralyzed. She moaned softly, hoping Nick wouldn’t hear. She couldn’t bear to twist her body. A sharp pain shot up her body and she let out a small shriek as Nick brushed his hand over her bare thigh as he shifted. Nick awoke and looked over to her.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.
Autumn bit her lip before revealing her pained face from behind her long silky hair. She forced a smile on her face, “Nothing, I thought, I thought that your hand was some bug or something. I’m fine, go back to sleep.” she choked out. Every word that she squeezed out her throat hurt like hell. It burned like a fire inside. Nick seemed satisfied with that answer and went back to sleep. Maybe it was the fact that he was tired that he didn’t notice the pained expressions on her face. Suddenly, the pain just went away. She sighed with relief as she wiped the sweat off her forehead. Why me? she thought tearfully, Why now?
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Nick yawned as he heard the aircrew waking everybody up from their sleep with an announcement that they had arrived in Germany. The first thing that he did was look next to him, to see if Autumn was still there. Soundlessly asleep. He smiled and shook her a little.
“Hey sleeping beauty. We’re in Germany.”
She smiled lightly and looked out the window. “Wow, check it out. It’s so beautiful.”
“Yeah it is.”
They stared in silence out the window when everything gradually got bigger as they came closer to the ground. Suddenly, the plane came to an abrupt halt and everyone began to stand up. Nick stood up and began to take their hand luggage from underneath their seats.
“Hey! Good flight?”
Nick turned around and saw Alicia. To his surprise, she wasn’t talking to him, but to Autumn.
“Oh yeah, I slept most of the way so I guess I missed out on all the gross food.”
“Oh yeah same, I mean, if I looked at it, I’d be tempted to eat it because I was really hungry.”
“Hey what about me?”
“What about you?” Alicia asked.
“Never mind.”
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
“Where are you guys going now?” Alicia asked as they were walking out of the baggage claim.
“Probably to a hotel.” Nick replied. He gripped tightly onto Autumns hand. It felt cold and frail. He looked over to her, she looked pail and she didn’t seem so well. “Are you alright?” he asked worriedly.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Autumn couldn’t stay in focus, everything was so blurry and the pain was back. She couldn’t walk. She couldn’t even feel Nick’s grip on her. She could hear Nick asking her if she was alright but she couldn’t answer. She shook her head lightly and then, everything went black.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Nick didn’t believe it. At least, he didn’t want to believe it. How could he have been so blind to not see that she was ill? So ill… Everything was so perfect a few days ago, how could it all just suddenly slip away? So fast? Was God playing a joke on him? Never letting him find happiness? He rubbed his face in distress and looked at the doctor.
“… Is there anything that can be done?” he dared to ask. What if nothing could be done? What if he told him that she only had a few weeks to live? How was he going to live without her now that he found her?
“Well, since her bone cancer is quite serious, there’s only one treatment that would maybe get rid of it. Chemotherapy.”
“Isn’t that the thing that makes you lose all your hair?” Alicia interrupted, obviously shocked. She patted her own soft blond hair protectively.
“Not necessarily, that is only a reaction. Some people are lucky, others aren’t.”
“But can you be sure that she’d be back to normal?” Nick asked, holding in his tears.
“No, we cannot. But there are many other people that are suffering from the same illness Miss. Love has. Many have had successful operations. Some had successful operations but, the bone cancer can come back and unfortunately, once they have reached that stage, nothing could be done.”
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Autumn opened her eyes and the first thing that she saw was the bare white ceiling of the hospital. She sighed lightly, knowing where she was for once. A tear rolled down her cheek as she heard the doctors and nurses scurrying about. She knew why she was there. Her bone cancer. Never before had it got so serious. Why now God? Why can’t you just let me be with Nick just a bit longer? Is this some kind of joke you’re playing on me? Why can I never find happiness and when I do, you take it away from me the instant I start to fall in love with it. Why do you have to be so cruel? Oh God, why? Please, just a few more weeks would be enough, just give me some preparation, just a few weeks and I’d be ready to say goodbye. She knew that she was dying at that instant. And there was nothing that she could do about it either. She felt so helpless, as she laid there. She felt bitter cold despite the humidity and the thin white sheet that was laid on her. She knew that she was shivering from the inside. She was scared. What would happen next? She wanted Nick’s arms around her, desperately. Her heart called out to him, but no one answered. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. All her life, she was lonely. She wanted affection, and yet no one could ever give it to her, except Nick. Where was he? Did he no longer love her? What about their promises and commitments to each other? Did he run off with Alicia? Suddenly, she heard the door open. She didn’t know who it was, she didn’t care. Maybe there is nothing that is worth living for really. Even Nick gave up on her, her life, why else should she fight for her life? Maybe death wasn’t such a bad idea anymore. At least she doesn’t have to live through all the pain she’s been suffering lately. She could hear pairs of footsteps approaching her now. Still she didn’t open her eyes. She only hoped that they would never open again.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Nick gazed at her complexion feeling a stab at his heart. She was so peaceful, so beautiful, so innocent. Why did God have to be so cruel and take the life of a such a beautiful innocent creature? The love of his life? Didn’t he know how mush she meant to him? He could see her breathing heavily. Like she was suffering. How could God give such pain to her? He stroked her forehead and he could feel himself getting angry at the world. Everything was so perfect and then the stupid bone cancer had to ruin it all for him. He could feel him clenching his left fist. He breathed in deeply and saw that she had opened her eyes. They were glassy.
"You're going to be fine," Nick forced himself to smile.
“I’m going to die, Nick,” she whispered tearfully.