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The Theo Markou Experience isn't a band. No friends, much like a four hour trip to the beach with your family, it's a shocking reminder of how society has failed it's idiot. T>T>M>X (as the experience is commonly refered to as) is a one man music machine, featuring the infamous Theo Markou, and no one else.

The T>T>M>X sound is pure infectous pop, but messed up. It's the retarded brother that pop doesn't like to talk about because he's ashamed of him. With masterful lyrics, great hooks, and a hularious coating, The Theo Markou Experience is just what you've been looking for.

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Yes indeed, this is the all new and improved T>T>M>X (The Theo Markou Experience) website; and no, you can't download the Tommy Lee & Pamela Anderson home video from here. This website has way more "panache", and bit more "oumph" than the last one, because this one is flowing with "piss & vinegar".

IMPORTANT: THE FUNNY SHOW GETS THE AXE!!
We just recieved work today that the Mayfield comedy showcase known as The Funny Sho has been cancelled. It was supposed to be held on May 15th, but the fartknocker who organized it cancelled it. We have reason to believe at he is bitter about having a loser name. The guy's name is COURTNEY!!!. HE'S A GUY WITH A FLIPPIN' GIRLS NAME!!!. NOW THAT'S FUNNY!!. Theo & Adam were pissed and then sad because they couldn't show off to all the girls. Oh well, Adam would have ended up getting all the hot girls, and left Theo with all the ugly girls, and the grade nines.

"GREAT NEWS!! COME SEE THE T>T>M>X LITTLE-BIG ROCK SPECTACULAR AT MAYFIELD SECONDARY SCHOOL!!
This is great news that's just in!!. After one practice, and a pretty shakie audition, Theo and Adam from Smells Like A New House will be preforming at the Mayfield Secondary School FunnY Shö. Chances are they'll bag a bunch of cute girlie girls after the fact. "Ugly Girls Need Not Apply" that what Theo had to say about the show.

"THEO BEATS THE ODDS AND GETS INTO COLLEGE!!"
If you have ever applied to college for an over subscribed program, you know what a pain in the ass it is, and how in the end you might not get accepted. Theo applied for the Television Broadcasting programs at Sheridan (they didn't even look at his application), Centennial (Theo pasted the first two evaluations, and then bombed the interview, after he called the dean of admissions and idiot right to his face), and Seneca. Theo recieve four rejections out of the five programs he applied to (not good at all). Just as Theo was preparing to come back to high school for another year, the impossible occured. Theo headed to his mailbox to pick his last rejection letter (just as he did for the past two weeks). In the end he got a big emvelope, which he thought was a catalog of guitars or something. It was his offer of admission to Seneca's TV program. This is a big deal because this is an extremely hard program to get into. Over 2000 people apply, only 85 people get accepted, and they only take the best of the best of the best. Theo, with his B average, lack of OACs, zero work experience, and bad odor will be attending class this fall along side 84 students, most of whom have already been to university. So if you plan on applying for broadcasting, PLEASE RECONSIDER!!!.

"GOOD BUT NOT GREAT NEWS!!"
Just about every T>T>M>X song on tape that has been found, or wasn't lost in "the fire" will be available on one compact disc in two weeks!!!. "Hairy Debrah?" - how this title came to be another story for another time - is a collection of about thirteen tracks that will likely piss off many people. The loose use of the word "bastard" will cause church groups to organize bonfires to burn the CDs, and sacrific a virgin to their pygan god "Gimporo". So you better by one of these CDs, and hide.

JUST WHEN YOU FOUND OUT THAT YOU HAD TO SELL YOUR LIVER TO BUY THE NEW BRITNEY SPEARS CD!!
The new T>T>M>X album untitled "Sympathy For Tamara Mello" is just about ready to be recorded. This album will likely be recorded on a rented Tascam porta-studio so it'll be all funky sounding with neato space aged effects like reverb, and it'll have way more instruments on each track then ever before (more than just guitar, or just trumpet. That's better than hearing that your worst enemy got hit by car!!)

Hear some clips of new songs

"Ballad of Burn Victim"
A little hip hop ditty about some girl that kept unplugging the jukebox everytime Theo would put on a song

"Take Me Back To Dawson's Creek"
Theo had a weird dream that he, Adam from Smells Like A New House, and few of his other friends, were cast members on Dawson's Creek. While other guys dream about nakedness, Theo dreams about weird stuff like this.

"Hey Neve Campbell!!"
A cheeky tribute to canadian Neve Campbell, star of such films as Scream, Scream 2, and Scream 3.

"Hairy Girl #5"
A song about Greek women, okay it isn't, but it's true; Greek women are hairy.

"Tamara Mello (I Wanna Dip You In Marshmellow)"
A playful tune, that reminds celebrities that it is okay to fear their fans. If you are Tamara Mello, please take this song in good fun. Theo thinks your great and he just wants people to know who you are.

"I Peep It"
A "They Might Be Giants-esq" ditty about nothing.

"Burn Track"
Another song about "the Burn Victim". Hopefully the B.V won't hear this song.

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Pictures

The imfamous "80's rock star jump" picture that appeared in the 98/99 Mayfield Secondary School yearbook. !!NEW!!

The page from the yearbook, just in case you wanna see it. By the way, the caption is wrong. Theo was featured in the T.O. Star for his DJ-ing not T>T>M>X. !!NEW!!

The rarely-seen "Tavis Werts-wannabe 80's rock star trumpet jump" !!NEW!!

A photo taken during the recording of "Bigger, Louder, & Sweatier"

Theo at Edgefest '99 in Barrie with Ad & J from Smells Like A New House

MP3s

Here are a few tidbits of twisted, indie music pie that will make your MP3 player, and your speakers hate you. If your dog starts howling when you play any of these, just tape it's ears shut. Many fans feel that it's a better alternative to locking it in the laundry room. By the way, these files are compressed like crazy.

The Adam Martinuk Whigger Rap
The person who said that white rap, should have stopped with Vanilla Ice sure was on to something. The guy who said that Canadians shouldn't rap was a wise man. This song combines those two evils. May God have mercy on your soul.

Turbo Skank
Some people think that this song is about Britney Spears, that's a good guess. But it's actually one of Theo's best trumpet solos. And it was inspired by Neve Campbell.

Leaving With Your Sister (live at Mayfield Secondary School)
That the time that Theo parodied this song, it was hot. Everyone was covering it. Truly an electric preformance, on an acoustic guitar.