Her parents had been told early in the pregnancy that there was nothing that could be done. For two days after her birth, she never left their arms. She died a peaceful death. That was ten years ago, and I will never forget how touched I was by the love of Rachel's parents and others like them. For several years I worked as a registered nurse and dealt with many painful situations. I never dreamed one day I would have to face the silent birth of a child of my own.
I am married to United States Senator Rick Santorum, who in 1996 led the debate on a bill to ban partial-birth abortion---which even several pro-choice senators refer to as "infanticide". The procedure is justified by its advocates as necessary in cases of fetal abnormalities detected late in pregnancy. They implied that Rick had no right to speak on the issue because it had not not touched his life.
One week later at a routine sonogram, the 20 week old baby in my womb was diagnosed with a defect that is always fatal without surgery. Through our immense heartache came the most basic of parental emotions: We had to save our child. After many tests it was determined our son was eligible for the operation that could save his life. It was a success, but an infection developed in the amniotic sac, and I was rushed to the hospital with a high fever, having contractions. I begged the doctors to stop my labor, but they said it would be malpractice, for I would surely die since these infections are untreatable.
Gabriel Michael Santorum was born at 12:45 AM on Friday, October 11, 1996. He was a beautiful boy. He did not give a cry or open his tiny eyes. We baptized him, bundled him, and held him ever so close. We sang to him, held his little hands and kissed him. Gabriel lived for two hours. In those two hours something simple but profound happened. Rick and I became parents to a newborn baby and welcomed him into our family. That was all....but it was everything. His life was so brief, yet his impact so great. In two hours we experienced a lifetime of emotions. Love, sorrow, regret, joy----all were packed into that brief span. To have rejected that experience would have been to reject life itself.
Throughout the debate in Congress, a single compelling scenario emerged: a very sick infant destined to die and the anguished parents who thought they had no choice but to end their baby's life. I wish I could take that picture and replace it with the images of Rachel and Gabriel. I wish that everyone who will face the circumstances we did might know how much that time with our baby meant to us.
If parents are blessed with the life of a child, how could they give up an opportunity for love in exchange for such violence? Everything inside us cries out for a different solution---for a better way. There is another way. We know because we chose it. It was to deliver a living infant and allow him to die a natural and peaceful death in the loving arms of his parents. To suggest there are no options is to reject our own humanity. It is to take what is profound and mysterious and cut it off.
Accepting partial-birth abortion as our only alternative to a potentially disabled infant is to thwart two of our strongest human needs: to love and remember. Giving life to and caring for a sick infant allows us to express this love. I believe that every human being should be remembered by someone. Memory helps to anchor us to each other; it locates us within a certain time, community and family. Gabriel joined our family forever. We knew him briefly, yet he will always be with us. By responding to a life---even one of such short duration---with compassion, we offer our love and remembrance. In so doing, we allow a full expression of our humanity. How could anyone want less?
Karen Garver Santorum is an attorney and the wife of U. S. Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA). She is also the author of the newly-released book, 'Letters to Gabriel', which she wrote about her stillborn son.
To learn more about ordering a copy of her book, please contact the publisher.
