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...A *Lostsoull* in a Stormysea...

There you are
In a place I hold dear
Within my heart
I'll keep you safe
Never letting you go
Your in my world
Will you stay?


Hi There!!!!! I'm Sandy

*Smile*
I love to write it's how I vent and express myself..
These are just a few of my poems..
I hope you like them..
Here's a little music while you read!!!!!
*I hope you enjoy your stay*
I Can't Tell You Why

Fields Of Gold

I NeeD YoU

 I need someone to listen to me ramble...
To wipe my tears when I cry...
And hold my hand when I'm scared...
I need a presious soul that I can open up to...
I need a heart I can trust forever...
I need two strong arms to hold me tight when I feel lost...
I need you...
Written by: Sandy

INSiDE

 I know your mind
Your voice, your manner
Your heart ,you soul
The you inside,no one knows but me
Although we've never met except in my dreams
I feel as if you know me too
The little girl inside my heart
The woman that I can be
The real me I hide from the out side world
You know me
Written by: Sandy

GOODByE

 Here I sit crying by myself in the dark..
Far from anyone to see,so far apart..
You have gone away to a special place..
A journey I know we all have to face..
You held my loving heart in your hands..
And my passionate soul in your heart..
That's why losing you has just tore me apart..
Looking up at the stars with my eyes full of tears..
Wondering what I will do with my on coming years..
I drift on to the many happy times we have shared..
And the many whys that you showed me you cared..
My heart fills with joy and a little smile on my face..
I know someday we will meet in a much better place..
This is just my way to say good bye to you for now..
But it will be hard because you were all I knew how..
Written by me: Sandy

BRoKEN HEARTED

 I thought you loved me , guess I was wrong
We told each other our deepest
Thoughts , hopes and dreams
I let myself fall hopelessly in love with you
I allowed you into my heart
In return you took my heart and just cast it aside
I lay awake at night crying in thoughts of you
I see the world but I can not relate
I stare into space waiting , waiting , waiting for you
I know in my heart you will never come back to me
You are lost to me forever and forever my heart will be broken
Written by: Sandy

CHILD WiTHiN

 As I sit within my inner child..
She asks me to Play Just for awhile...
She can laugh and she can play,she at long last is free...
Finaly able to be who she's been longing for you see...
The ghosts from her past in her mind she is defeating them all...
No more shattered spirit,endless tears or feeling bad...
No more hiding broused or broken bones or feeling lost and alone..
She's ready to heal and she soon will take flight...
With out fear any more and not scared in the night...
Written by: Sandy

Two Souls



Can you feel me,I'm all around you
Traveling swiftly through the passeges of time
My very essence sores to seek yours
With every surging pulse I am sensitive to your pain
I can sence when there's sorrow in your heart
All the pure and sweet delight in your happiness
The tenderness of your private passionate thoughts
Touching you so close without any physical being
Our hearts speak to one another with every beat
In the center of each others midths flying high
We are together one in our souls forever

Written by: Sandy that's me!!

DReAM

 Waited my whole life for someone like you....
Cross my heart please trust me do....
Taking my mind wondering through space.....
I close my eyes we are face to face....
Holding you so close, getting so lost in you....
Our love so gentle, so real, so true....
We kiss, we touch, we love the night away....
Someday we'll be together, I've drempt of us this way....
Written by: Sandy

TaKES TWo

 You used to care for me once upon a time
To me there was no reason or rhyme
You played the game it's plain to see
To me it was real and a true fantacy
You giving your heart was the biggest thing you fear
To me it was so special in my heart so clear
For you it was running around acheing to be free
To me it was with you I allways wanted to be
For you to me you were harsh and demanding
Me there was much love and understanding
For you who I really needed all I got was rejection
Me I was there you had all my love and effection
You didn't care you just wanted to break up
Me it was time to take a stand and wake up
You walked away looking for someone eles to be
Me I'm left crying, falling apart and hurting endlessly
Written by: Sandy...That would be me...

FiND it in YOUR HeaRT

 As I gaze out to the mysterious Ocean wide...
The feeling of anguish I can not subside...
I have hurt the one I most deeply love...
For that I'm sorrowful from the heavens above...
As I think from all the millions of peaple around...
It was you I luckily have most happily found...
I don't know what I'd do without you in my mind...
Someone like you again I will never ever find...
So, again and again I beg you know this true..
I am very very sorry and I do love you...

Written by: Sandy

THouGHTs

 I'm so very perplexed, my lifes been so horrendously bad...
I feel like grimy dirt, I've been so badly hurt...
Most of my seemingly worthless life I've been so totally used...
Not to mention mentlely and physically abused...
My Stupid abnormal thoughts I feel inside,they're not hard from others to hide...
On go's my secret unfearing mask,useing it for pain protection such a simple task
From my past no one knows or can tell, I'm living in my own torcheres hell...
I've thought I could end my sad plight in just one misserable night...
But No, I keep holding on tight to that one flicker of hope...
That some glorious special day I'll be able to cope...
Written by: Sandy

DiSCoVeRiNG

 Trembling scared of myself... Of what you might think of me.... Once again wanting to trust.... I stand here before you..... This is who I am.... Telling of my troubled past... My essence,been shattered.... My words only for you to hear.... You listen intimately.... You share youself with me.... Your soul so loving .... Your heart does not judge.... I cry,you hold me tight... Kissing away my tears..... Your touch eases my pain.... Your acceptance means so much... I believe in you.....In your love for me.... Written by: Sandy

FaR AWAY

 I see you there.... But I can not touch... I reach out for you...... I want you very much..... The love is always there.... I need you near me now.... I desire you so so bad... But I feel so really sad.... Your so very far away.... With you I want to stay... Will there ever be a day.... That I could hold you dear... Just to look you in your eyes.... Will there never be no goodbyes... Between you and I.....
Written by: Sandy

TeLL Me

 Tell me, Where does love go?
When you have so many fears...
With many miles and many tears...
Tell me, Where does love go?
When life deals you a hopeless Part...
When two lovers are so very far apart...
Tell me, Where does love go?
When the magic turns into pain...
When that kiss just isn't the same ...
Tell me, Where does love go?
When your heart is mornfully brakeing...
When your soul is truely acheing...
So Tell me, where does love go?
I think but just in my opinion
It stays on hold within your heart..
Untill your ready again for it to take it's part...
Written by: Sandy

HiDE

 The ocean is deep..
The moon is bright..
From you I hide..
Don't want to fight..
The sun is hot..
The river is wild..
From you I hide..
I'm NOT your child..
All these things I know are true..
You hurt my pride you make me blue..
From you I run cause if I stay..
The awfull head games with me you play..
Written by: Sandy

YOU

 This one my dear, I write for you here
I missing you, can we start like bran new
I crave from you our special little talks
But your not ready so I'll forever wait for you
So instead I take my long reflective beach walks
Sometimes I speak with out really thinking
My heart is sunk and now I'm quickly sinking
Without you my life will just crumble down
I say that with saddness and a great big frown
I'm trying hard to stand here with some pride
But I know if your not standing here by my side
I am sure I will take my most dreadfullests of falls
You see you've become my love, you are my all
I hate it when your wordless,when you silently shut me out
From you it's devastatingly hard for me to go without
I really don't think I've met anyone like you, it's true
And how very infinitely much I am in love with you
*This one comes from my Lostsoull*
Written By Me: Sandy

FORGiViNG

 Your mine boy OH why can't you see..
We've loved each other for eternity..
Come on and face me,I know you know how..
Your all I think of, Ohhh this I solumlly vow..
I never ever wanted us to be apart...
There are lessons in life for me to be learned..
The trust that you deserve, you've most definatly earned..
I'm the first one to admitt that I do make mistakes..
So I'll stay on the outs for as long as it takes...
You need to know that I'll adore you till the end...
Or untill your sweet heart has time to mend....
*poof*
Written by: Sandy
1997

LaST LoVE

We belong together with you I felt so high
You promised me there would be no goodbye
So then please tell me.. why?why?why?
I don't understand your change of heart
Sadly I cry, it's tareing my heart apart
Now my world is so lonely and dark
I'm hollow inside with nothing good to feel
I gave to you my all I thought that was the deal
Wishfull thinking on my part for us to be happy
There's no one eles I ever want to see
Here once again with an emotional sheild
The Wall inside, I've already started to build
Never again, I won't let it happen to me
You are my end, My last love to be
Written by: Sandy
Nov.1997

You Took Your Love Away

Today you too your love away..
No real reason, You just couldn't say..
I still want you, Please come back..
How and why did you get off track..
It seems like I have to face my lonely destiny..
I fall deeply in love and then I get jilted..
I feel so hurt my heart is sadly wilted..
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think straight..
My soul is so heavy, Just to much weight..
I've cryed so much, thought there could be no more..
But before I know it my eyes begin to pour..
Everytime I think of you, I ache for you inside..
I still love you madly, That feeling will never subside..
Written by: Sandy
1997

WHY?

Heavy dark clouds over my head .... Hurling me deeper into depression.... Looking up pondering the real meaning of love.... So complicated so full of struggle.... Wondering if there is any simple answers.... Why then do I recieve all of lifes desasters.... I'm a prisoner of my own obscure thought.... Bringing to me all the poison it's got.... Spinning round and around, whirling.... Flouting so high.. Joining those clouds in my mind....Fly!!!! As my physical body lay flat down on the ground..Still looking up Screaming....
WHY?????
Written by: Sandy
1997

PoeT

It flows out from her heart and soul..
Her writing so often out of control..
Sometimes not so totally sane..
So many and much or herself to blame..
A lover scorn or a childhood lost..
For whatever reason and at what cost..
A dream that may never come true..
Or someone that makes us unhappily blue..
Then again there's another point of view..
Like that special bond between me and you..
Links from the past, Soulmates it's true..
How her heart skips a beat from just that one look..
A sweet kiss or a warm embrace that's all it took..
Could be a child with a puppy, joyfully playing..
Your heart just melts and it's hard to contain..
No matter how awsome the feeling or how deep the cuts..
She keeps writing at times beneath her own thoughts..
There's so many ways for her to profoundly express..
Sometimes out of love or out of her tension and stress..
HEY!!!! I wrote that..*me*
Written by: Sandy
1997

StaND ALoNE

I will stand alone on my journey forward..
I will stand straight and prode and free..
Onward I will push untill my needs are met..
I will raise my children to be good and strong..
What a bunch a b*llshit...Well ..It feels like that at times
This one has no ending...I have to live the other half first
hehehehe..... Just me wierding out!!...I do that!!!
Written by: *me*
1997

Lostsoull

Everything so hopeless and dark.. Covering my head with my hands.. Screaming inside holding it all back.. Hiding from my own thoughts.. Are they real or just make believe.. Where does one begin and the other end.. Are they Found dreams or just lost memories.. Staring at my maddness..Confusion takes control.. I feel like a stranger in my own mind
I'm a Lostsoull
Written by: Sandy
1997

WHo CaReS

One valium, Two valium, three valium more...
How many could land me face down on the floor..
It ought to go well with a six pack on the side..
Those tiny little pills will go down like a slide..
No!! I'm not really on a mission to die..
I'm just trying to get a little bit high...
I say this now with a sorta half crocked smile...
It's a way to forget lifes troubles for a while..
So now that I'm there, I say with a slurrr...
I can't see any more, It's all just a blurrrr...
Written by: Sandy
1997

SLeePiNG BaG for TWo

Hey you!! Come on get on in here..
Cuddle up close, Hold me near..
Yep!! Just enough room for me and you..
A sleeping bag made for just us two...
Seems like we've waited a life time long..
For this special time to come along..
Wow!! There cold your popcicle feet..
I'll warm them for you oh what a treat..
Mmm, Your kisses they taste so sweet..
Pulling the sleeping bag up over our heads..
Yeah right!! It's time for us to go to bed..
Written by:Sandy *Smile*
1997

Day Dreams

Day dreaming, My thoughts fall upon you..
Wondering if your thinking of me too..
My yearning heart just won't let me rest..
My love for you has put me to the test..
I know I would not pull through...
Wandering around lonely without you..
So hopelessly lost in time..
Wanting your body next to mine..
Let me, I'll show you the way..
How our love will always stay..
Right now I know there's no way..
There's something I just have to say..
I love you, This I must construe..
Hopeing we make our dreams come true..
Written by: Sandy
1997

ESCAPE

Memories of the past escaping from reality
Through silver fleasy clouds and redish yellow streeked skies I soar
Landing with grace, slowly wandering freely amoung gold threaded sun filtered trees
Tip toeing acrossed fresh fallen green crisp glissening leaves
There I find you waiting fo me, I reach out for you
As our hands intertwine there's a radiant feeling as if our souls have touched and we become one with nature
Come, lay beside me along the calm cool rivers edge
Alone together in the open wilderness
Passion over welms us as we embrace in the rapture of making love
Surrounded in the sweet smell of the soft summer breeze
The sun warms us as it dances against our bare skin
Faintly in the far off distance a train whistle blows
Gazing up to the crystle clear blue sky, birds gliding about singing us there love song
As we lay close in each other arms, together at last, so at peace
We drift off to sleep
Written by: Sandy 1997

JUST BE THERE

The tough road that I've traveled in my life.. I've have the courage to see it through... I will make it even through all my strife.... I don't want you to feel sorry for me... I just need you listen you see... I don't want to burden you at all.. I just need you to be there for over all.. I am strong and will carry on for us two... I just need your friendship too.. I will do what I need to do... I just want you to love me true.... Written by: Sandy
1997

TaKE Me AWAY

I need someone to hold on to
I want that someone to be you
The shadows are slowly closing in
My lonely heart sadly deminishing
Come take me away, I need you today
Without you I feel so incomplete
From my head on down to my feet
My troubles seem to never end
I need you badly to be my friend
Your soul flows deeply within my vains
Don't want to escape that sweet pain
Just let me into your presious heart
I promise our love will never part
Written by: Sandy
1997

THe END

When you flip out and scream at me..
I start to shake so from you I flee..
You accuse me of things that just aren't true..
I've searched but can't find what's happened with us two..
I really don't know but I try hard to understand..
Why everything with you is always a mean demand..
You seem to find no good in me or anyone..
You don't even know the real damage you have done..
All I do know is how I've suffered from your selfish neglect..
Tell me? What ever happened to love, kindness and respect..
I couldn't see before but now it's just not me your starting to affect..
I came to the realization this marriage is not healthy..
The ugliness and depression are now all that I see..
Now you can have your perfect life without the kids and me..
I just can not wait around for your next verbal attack..
I finially reach down deep inside and found the courage to leave and never come back..
Written by: Sandy
1997

PoNDERiNG

My spooky love in this lost lonely world...
Oceans away my wondering mind is herled...
Loving feelings shineing bright around you...
Something unseen pulling me steadily through...
Helplessly whirling windy worlds apart...
My acheing heart bleeds within the dark...
Spirits flerish deep love secrets kept...
Welling firey eyes for you they've wept...
Outwordly smiling as if nothings wrong...
Inside without you my days soooo long...
Fleeting fears of distant wonderous dreams...
Holding closely to faith is it's only means...
Written by: Sandy
1997

MiNDS EyE

The evening sky slowly draws dark
A sharp wind blows and twistes
In this lost world I play my part
Sea foams, crashing waves and mists

As the sun sets behind the gray ocean
Will the open sky reveal my fate
The seagulls glide freely in motion
My future in plian view but I must wait

The salty sand sits beneath me
As I talk to the man in the moon
This my special place, sets me free
In my minds eye from my lonely room

Written by: Sandy
1998

HoLD ON

I will never shut the door on you
Never! not even if you beg me to
My head at times may get a bit dizzy
But as you told me many times before
No one said this would be easy
Just tell me you'll still hold on tight
Please try hard not to give up the fight
Sometimes it's tough and I do get lonely
But I know your my one and only
Written by: Sandy
1998

UNWaNTED CHiLD

No one knows the awfull things I've seen..
How far I've come in life or where I've been..
All the corruption and damage way deep within..
At such a young age I paid the price without a sin..
So small a girl and not knowing real love..
Being moved around from push to shove..
Never actaully feeling like I belonged anywhere..
And believe me at my heart it ripped and teared..
I wondered would there ever be someone who cared..
Alone, feeling lost when no one wants you..
Something a child should never go through..
Even now, no matter how many times inside I reflect..
Still brings back the old tapes if abandonment and neglect..
Written by me: Sandy
1998

THe Key to My HearT

I'm afraid to let you go
But your asking me for time
And because I care so much
I'll give you anything you need
As I walk alone in the rain
It suddenly begins to pour
My bewildered vision downcast
Something catches my eye
I pick it up and brush it off
It's all rusted and tarnished
It's the key
That very special key
Sending it to you
Miles acrossed the ocean
The perfumed letter is opened
Something shiney falls out
It settles upon your lap
You pick it up
A tiny tear begins to apear
Your fingers hold something dear
This is the symbol of my love
Just think of me and smile
While we have to be apart
You hold the Key to my heart
Written by: Sandy
1998
Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do when your having a bad day? Just thinking out loud .If so please just jot it down in my guestbook..Thanks :o)~

WORRYING does not empty TOMMORROW of its TROUBLES it empties TODAY of its STRENGTH!!
Sooooooooooo
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS and LIVE BRAVELY!!!!!
BYE FOR NOW and PEACE!!!!@>-;--}-------
PLEASE!!!! Take a minute of your time and look at these kids...Who knows maybe you can help a child come home today..Thank you....
READ MY POETRY DREAMBOOK!!!
SIGN MY POETRY DREAMBOOK!!! 		Dreambook
1997 & 1998 *All Rights Reserved*®

The Special Things!!! :o)

  • My Children
  • Losthallow..3,000 miles away
  • My best girl friend ...Tina ... *Sisters forever*
  • Ken ... Your Awsome!! What can I say?
  • Writting... My escape...
  • The Freedom to be me...
  • My Inner space...

Some nice sites!!!!

Angelfire - Easiest Free Home Pages
*Songs and poems * Welcome to Losthallow :o)
Cereal box Collection
Your Daily Horoscope...hehe
*My brother* The Wolf_Masters Den
My Random Thoughts ...
The Worry Stone

Email: sandolee@inreach.com