The 1999 Contemptuous Sardonic

Golden Fleece Awards

[I apologize for the extreme length of time it took to get this posted. And I had also intended to do it in a more creative fashion, however, it just didn't happen that way. - WDK]

Best Vocabulary Word Usage"Don't fundamentally disregard my affection for you."

Most Memorable Moment The bus.

Best Tertiary Character Richard the Entrepreneur

Best Worst Fashion Blunder

Julie

Most Frightening Villain Hhhannah and her Nintendo music of Doom

Best Slow Motion to Background Music sequence Waiting for Ben to come home after his beating

Most Likely Couple in Season Two Meghan and Richard

Best Roommate Meghan / Sean

Best Topless Character Richard

Best Jenny Jones-ish Make Over Meggy

What Happened to Astrid ("I think Q should be at the end of the
alphabet... it's sexier." "I challenge you to use graffito in a sentence.")?

[Note: These answers are all your own. And that scares us.]

In an attempt to gain control over the vending machine black market, a rival family kidnapped Astrid and held her hostage in Moscow. Naturally, she managed to escape and single-handedly wreak her vengence upon the abducting family. She is now secretly working for the CIA to stop the spread of WB dramas to foreign countries in an attempt to keep the rest of the world from finding out just how shallow and superficial the United States truly is.

Tried to use the letter Q at the end of "graffito". Be warned.

Bisexual Astrid was in love with Noel, and therefore became so insanely jealous of Noel's affection for Felicity after the "draw the line" episode that she had her lesbian lover apply for the managerial position at Dean and Delucca. Her lover was hired, and spent the rest of the season attempting to make Felicity's life miserable, thus making Astrid's revenge sweeter than the artificial sugar packets Felicity is forced to stock on each and every coffee table day in and day out.

She slipped away from campus for awhile to plot her attack on flight 58889902, the same one that Felicity and Noel just happened to be on for Berlin. Unfortunately for all the passengers however, Rescue 77 was sent to help them.

Attends rallies outside Town Hall for a legal change in the order of the letters of the alphabet.

Was booted off campus for "fraternizing" with Prince Humperdink and is now a senator for the state of Tennesee. She is currently trying to pass a bill concerning the position of the letter Q...

Due to her devastatingly smashing performance on Felicity, she's recently received a rather lucrative contract as the next chihuahua (chiwawa?!) for Taco Bell.

The night Noel came home drunk after he and Felicity broke up was the beginning to the end of Astrid. After Felicity threw him out of her room, Noel stubbled downstairs to Astrid's door. Thinking she was Felicity, he had mad sex with her, completely in slow motion with music in the background. Waking up the next morning, he realizes that the chia pet next to him was not Feli city, but the red-headed Astrid. Fearing that he would be accused of being a hypocrite for having sex during Felicity's and his quasi- break up, he calls the guys who beat Ben in the future. After his request for a hit on Astrid was rejected (the guys wer e too busy trying to find a place to dump the bodies of Blair and Ben's English room mate), Noel tries to find a way to kill her himself. He finally does by playing a game with her. He bet her that she could not walk backwards across the street by herself. She, of course attempts to do so and gets hit by a bus. In fact, the same bus as the one that hit Todd; the imprint of his body was still on the bus. Unfortunately, Astrid was not in touch with her childlike sense of wonder and died.

She got a job at the children's television network, trying to instill her "new alphabet" with the under 3 crowd

She is lost in Felicity's hair.

Noel felt threatened by her wit and fed her to Hhhannah.

The WB figured they had such luck with one puffy haired girl why not try something new. So for next season they want to try out something like Astrid's Creek. Or maybe Astrid the Vampire Slayer. Or Astrid "the girl who follows a gay guy named Ren all the way to California only to find out he is interested in her new friend, Kulie, who also happens to be a lesbian...

Astrid decided she could no longer stand to listen to Noel's Felicity problems so she ran screaming into the cafeteria where they were serving alphabet soup. She then proceeded to rearrange all of the letters so that Q would come at the end of the aphabet. After a long 12 hour seige where she was holding the letter P hostage, she was taken into custody and arrested on charges of disturbing the peace and endangering the life of a Chef Boy R dee lunch special. Her trial was quick and without incident and she was found guilty on all counts. She was deemed mentally incompetent and currently resides at Belvue mental institution indefinitely. When asked what she thought of her outcome she replied, "It was all worth it. And, by the way, did you know that grafitto is the plural of grafitti?" Her interviewer was sufficiently freaked out.

After she realized that Astrid gave her a run for her curly-haired money, Felicity dons a pair of leather pants and, with the help of lesbian vampire slayer Faith, slays her, thereby ensuring she wins the Frizz-EAse endorsement.

She will become the pink-power-ranger-esque villian on Angel's spin off from Buffy.

Perhaps in her crusade against graffiti (the plural of graffito) she became an undercover bus driver who was forced to leave town when she accidentally ran down some nincompoop who stepped off the curb in the middle of the street without looking -- oh yeah, the idiot's name was Todd Mulcahy!

Astrid decided that her brilliant observations were underappreciated by the gang at the University of New York, and therefore quit school and moved into the village. She now lives in a loft with a beat poet, where she writes novels. Be on the lookout for her first book, 'What About Q?' which will hit stores in November.

She went to Capeside and was an extra in Dawson's movie

She decided she was in love with our angst-ridden heroine (yes, Felicity), stalked her, and then got hit by a bus.

She dyed her hair red and it went straight to her brain and made her go out with a deluded geek named Peter in LA. 20 years from now, she cuts her hair in a sad attempt to look like her mother in law, Carol.

Noel and Astrid slept together. He has that curly hair fetish and she just doesn't like Felicity. She got pregnant and was forced to go to one of those nun run stay here while you're pregnant give the baby up and you'll go to heaven places they always sent pregnant girls when teenage pregnancy was so taboo (see Unsolved Mysteries for further reference). She'll be back next season sans Noel, Jr., more tensions will grow because of that curly hair fetish Noel, Sr., has. Flash forward 18 years to "Felicity: The Next Generation" where a Noel, Jr., finds out he's adopted and runs to New York. There he meets a girl who just found out she's adopted too. Seems Eli and Felicity didn't follow the no glove no love rule. (Those sweaters hid the pregnancy well.) In search for their parents they find Sally who is making a hefty sum in her tape recorded therapy sessions business with Megan and Richard. They were the only two who got out.

She was arrested and kicked out of school after she was found to be the head of a gang madeup of her advisees who did thousands of dollars of damage to NYC public transit by painting, carving and graffiti all over the buses and trains (each graffito, by the way, is a single, sexy, letter"Q").

She was chosen to be on the REAL WORLD HAWAII.

While playing the assassin game, she took a tragic shot to the forehead, made a step backwards, tumbled over the edge of the set and ::POOF:: blinked out of existence and everyone's conscience, steadfastly adhering to one of the "The Never-ending Story"'s tenets of ontology.

Best Homosexual Performance Javier / Julie

Most Likely to Be Arrested for Smart Pow-Der Abuse in Ten Years Elena (who ditches her M&M method after her tragic experience with Prince Humperdink)