Monday, May 13, 1996

OK, it's 10 pm EDT, and I'm ready for some denial ... how 'bout y'all?


*Why Vachon is NOT DEAD*
     by Apache


        At last ... three months after finding out They Killed Him, I 
have a good reason for going into permanent denial:

        Cutting to the chase:  there is a plausible reason, consistent 
with FK reasoning and the internal logic of "Ashes to Ashes," why Vachon 
is NOT DEAD at the end of this episode ... buried, mind you, inert, not 
breathing not talking not even blinking ... but not dead.

        Here it is:  in "Ashes to Ashes," Urs, Vachon, and Nick are all
bitten by Divia the Demon Daughter with Poison Blood.  Her bite induces
some kind of death-dealing madness in each of them, but with different
outcomes:  Urs dies in Nick's elevator, stays dead, and winds up on a 
slab in Nat's morgue.  Nick survives and remarks later to Lacroix that 
it is his *age* that allowed him to handle the madness and disease.  
Vachon suffers a murderous delirium, experiencing Divia's memories *and* 
her fantasies, I think, and then, with some participation by Tracy, 
stakes himself to stop the pain and finish up the dying.  Tracy then 
buries him down by Screed.

        Now, on to the Cheesy Rationalization <g>:

        Here's why Vachon could be OK -- 1. The Divia part of being 
dead.  Urs is 116, Vachon is 464, and Nick is 767 -- vampire years, not 
counting their mortal lives.  So if endurance is an issue, Vachon is 
close to the middle between Nick and Urs.  Vachon might be wrong about 
his ability to survive -- he clearly believes he can't survive what 
Divia did to him, but he could be wrong (remember, this is a *cheesy* 
rationalization that you're reading here).  Also, since it's Divia's mind 
that's overpowering his, when Divia dies, the influence should abate or 
even quit.  And Divia dies that same night.

        If Lacroix is right and it was Nick's 'resurgent goodness' that
allowed him to survive, Vachon still has a good chance.  He died being a
Boy Scout -- helping Tracy with info, offering help to Divia the Uber-
Brat who was weeping in an alley, and getting Urs away from him before 
he killed her.  All of these are Nice, not Naughty, on a Santa Claus 
scale of Who Gets Goodies.  Of course, bearing in mind that he's 
probably dined on tens of thousands of humans over the years, it may not 
entirely tip the scales... but, hey, this is *my* cheesy rationalization 
and I think it might be nice enough to get him a second bite at the 
apple.

        2. The Stake part of being dead.  After Vachon vamps out and
impales himself on the handy stake Tracy is holding (and why did he have 
a nicely sharpened stake in his home, one wonders?  Stole it off the 
Century 21 'This Church For Sale Or Rent' sign on the front lawn?), and 
dies, Tracy pulls the stake out almost immediately afterwards, as we 
know because Nick gets there while she's still in the early stages of 
sniffling over the body.  Not only that, but we see Lacroix later 
*burning* Divia, who was staked, in order to be darn sure she's dead and 
stays dead.  In "Night in Question," we saw Lacroix, who is 1917 years 
old, if memory serves, survive being staked without even losing 
consciousness, though he needed Nick to get the stake out of him if he 
was to avoid dying eventually.  Then he recovers.  So, in my cheesy 
rationalization, Vachon can recover from being staked for a matter of 
minutes by Tracy, especially since she usefully puts him out of the 
reach of the sun.  It could take a few months, or a few years, or a 
century, who knows (since he's not feeding)... but he can live.  The 
impulse of a vampire body is to heal itself, preferably with the help of 
fresh blood. 

        Which means anybody in that park when he gets enough better to
return to consciousness and climb out of the ground is in Big Trouble 
<g>.

        3.  The Traditional FK Continuity part: What Traditional FK
Continuity part, do I hear you asking?  Exactly my point!  Look, Divia
made it back from being decapitated.  As Whoopi Goldberg said in
"Soapdish," "You know what that means?  It means [s]he has no head!!  
How am I supposed to write dialogue for a character with NO HEAD?!?"  
Lacroix made it back from being flambe:  as Nigel Bennett once said at a 
con, "that's me on Nick's door.  I really don't know how I came back."  
So what's a little hole in the heart between friends? 

        As Lacroix says to Nick about Divia:  "does it really matter?"
Although Vachon is not "far too old and powerful," he's way too gorgeous
and sexy, and that's a perfectly adequate reason for immortality.


Cheerfully believing two impossible things before breakfast,

Apache