BEATLES PARODIES
THE DISGRUNTLED POSTAL WORKERS SONG
(Geoff Bailey) (sung to the tune of "Yesterday") Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away 'Cause I blew them away with a .38 Oh I believe in yesterday Suddenly, the Postal Service isn't half it used to be Seems I've lost my sanity Oh yesterday came suddenly My boss said something wrong, now he's gone I blew him away I left three people dead, plus ten wounded But now I have to pay 'Cause today, I'm tried in Superior Court 'cause of yesterday They're sending me to death row so I can pay Oh I believe in yesterday Why to death row, I don't know They wouldn't say I guess I kind of snapped, now I'm in deep crap I'm going to pay Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away 'Cause I killed them with a .38 Oh I believe in yesterday (mmm-mmm-mmm-mm-mmm-m-mmmmm)
C BUGS YOU
(sung to the tune of "She Loves You") C bugs you, yeh, yeh, yeh C bugs you, yeh, yeh, yeh C bugs you, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh You think you've fixed your bug Well I saw your program yesterday-yi-yay It's you I was thinking of When it told me what to say-yi-yay It says "Fatal error" and you know that Must be bad. Yes, C bugs you and you know you should be mad. It said "Fatal error", so you almost lost your mind But now you say you know it's not the buggy kind. It says "Fatal error" and you know that must be bad, Yes, C bugs you and you know you should be mad. C bugs you, yeh, yeh, yeh, C bugs you, yeh, yeh, yeh And with a bug like that you know you should be mad You know it's up to you; I think it's only fair, Bugs can hurt you too, fix it now because It says "Fatal error" and you know that must be bad, Yes, C bugs you and you know you should be mad. oooh. C bugs you, yeh, yeh, yeh, C bugs you, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh With a bug like that you know you should be mad With a bug like that you know you should be mad With a bug like that you know you should be mad yeh yeh yeh, yeh yeh yeh yeh
CRANBERRY SAUCE FOREVER
(sung to the tune of "Strawberry Fields Forever") Let me gobble down, my sweet tasting cranberry sauce... eating is real and eating is good to get hung about Cranberry Sauce forever tasting is easy with eyes closed You should be digesting all you eat It's getting sour to eat some cranberries but it's still sweet It is still tasted good to me Let me gobble down, my sweet tasting cranberry sauce... eating is real and eating is good to get hung about Cranberry Sauce forever No one I think is in my tree I mean it must be some kind of a berry tree That is you don't know nothing can top a cranberry. That is I think it's not too bad Let me gobble down, my sweet tasting cranberry sauce eating is real and eating is good to hung about Cranberry Sauce forever Always, no sometimes, think it's me But you know I know it's just a cranberry I think ya know I mean a 'sauce' and it's all right... That is I think it's just a berry... Let me gobble down, my sweet tasting cranberry sauce... eating is real and eating is good to get hung about Cranberry Sauce forever Cranberry Sauce forever Cranberry Sauce forever
AND I HATE MACS
(Matt Duquiane) (sung to the tune of "And I Love Her") I see them in the store I start to laugh Those people are pretty dumb: Ones who buy Macs And I hate Macs PC's give you everything and quickly The idiots with "power" Macs cry endlessly And I hate Macs A PC like mine will never die as long as I upgrade cheaply Bright is Win 95 Dark is their screen I know this PC of mine will never die And I hate Macs Bright is Win 95 Dark is their screen I know this PC of mine will never die And I hate Macs
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIODES
(sung to the tune of "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds") Picture yourself with software to deliver Your code won't compile with two thousand tries Somebody calls to walk through your new program A girl with oscilloscope eyes Silicon RAM chips that mess up your screen Showering rays through your head Look for your brain at the end of the day And it's gone Lucy in the sky with diodes Lucy in the sky with diodes Lucy in the sky with diodes Follow her down past her desk by a mountain Of documentation, you ask yourself why Everyone smiles as you fumble through spec sheets That read so incredibly dry Verification appears such a chore Yawning the hours away Climb up a wall looking for the dead code Then you're gone Lucy in the sky with diodes Lucy in the sky with diodes Lucy in the sky with diodes Picture yourself with your own new workstation With parallel ports and a fast floppy drive Suddenly someone is there with your paycheck The girl with oscilloscope eyes Lucy in the sky with diodes Lucy in the sky with diodes Lucy in the sky with diodes
LETTER B
(Sesame Street) (sung to the tune of "Let It Be") when i find i can't remember what comes after a and before c my mother always whispers words of wisdom letter b she told me b starts big and bird and ball and bat and battery yes buh buh buh buh buh means letter b letter b, letter b, letter b, letter b she whispers buh buh buh means letter b and when i feel downhearted, mother whispers b words constantly like bib, bob, bulb, and bubble letter b now in my hour of darkness there's a sound i know will comfort me, it's the buh buh buh buh buh of letter b letter b, letter b, letter b, letter b my mother whispers b words, letter b letter b, letter b, letter b, letter b my mother whispers b words, letter b letter b, letter b, letter b, letter b bless the buh-buh sound of letter b
LONELY USERS
(sung to the tune of "Eleanor Rigby")
Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?
All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
Guru MacKenzie
Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;
Isn't it fun?
Look at him working,
Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile;
Where is the style?
All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
Eleanor Rigby
Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work;
What is it worth?
Guru MacKenzie
Wiping the blood off his hands as he walks from the grave;
Nothing was saved.
All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?MONOPOLY
(Michael John Muuss) (sung to the tune of "Yesterday") Monopoly -- I thought my errors had all gone away. Now it looks as if they'll always stay. I recompiled Monopoly! Suddenly, it's not half the game it used to be. There's a core dump sitting next to me. Oh, Monopoly died suddenly! Why it had to blow, I don't know. What could it be? I did something wrong, now I long for Monopoly. Monopoly -- it was such an easy game to play. Now the logic has all gone away. Oh, why get me, Monopoly? Why it had to blow, I don't know. What could it be? I did something wrong, now I long for Monopoly. Monopoly -- It was such an easy game to play. Now I need some space to work away. Oh, why besiege my Monopoly?
UNIX MAN
(Brad Morrison) (sung to the tune of "Nowhere Man") He's a real UNIX Man Sitting in his UNIX LAN Making all his UNIX .plans For nobody Knows the blocksize from 'du' Cares not where /dev/null goes to Isn't he a bit like you And me? UNIX Man, don't worry It's the tube that's blurry UNIX Man The new kernel boots, just like you had planned He's as wise as he can be Programs in lex, yacc and C UNIX Man, can you help me At all? UNIX Man, please listen My printout is missin' UNIX Man The wo-o-o-orld is your 'at' command
WRITE IN C
(sung to the tune of "Let it Be") When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: "Write in C." As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers: "Write in C." Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, oh, Write in C. LOGO's dead and buried, Write in C. I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, For science it worked flawlessly. Try using it for graphics! Write in C. If you've just spent nearly 30 hours Debugging some assembly, Soon you will be glad to Write in C. Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, yeah, Write in C. Only wimps use BASIC. Write in C. Write in C, Write in C Write in C, oh, Write in C. Pascal won't quite cut it. Write in C. Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, yeah, Write in C. Don't even mention COBOL. Write in C. (and what about C++ ?)
CODING IN C
(Pongpakon Nantasenamat) (sung to the tune of "Octopus's Garden") I'd like to be coding in C In the Sun Computer lab in the shade Stay up all night, program it right In a Sun Computer lab in the shade I'd ask my friends to program C in the computer lab with me I'd like to be coding in C In a Sun Computer lab in the shade. We've never done using the Sun In our little hideaway making lots of fun. banking our head until we're dead. In a Sun Computer lab in the shade We would code and hack around because we know we can't be found I'd like to be coding in C In a Sun computer lab in the shade We would shout and scream about our codes that pile up on the dirty floor (Pile up on the dirty floor) Oh what joy for all programmer boys Knowing file system's never be safe.. (file system's never be safe) We would be coding to death you and me No one there to help us about C I'd like to be coding in C In a Sun computer lab with you. In a Sun computer lab with you. In a Sun computer lab with you.
YESTERDAY
(John L. Berger) (sung to the tune of "Yesterday") Yesterday All my troubles seemed so far away. Microsoft brought new ones here to stay. Oh, how I wish for yesterday. Suddenly, Nothing works at all efficiently. GPFs are running rampantly. Oh, Microsoft, just please leave me! Why we had to go To Windows 95 I couldn't say. Windows just works wrong. How I long for yesterday. Suddenly, OS/2 was praised triumphantly But was marketed pathetically. Now 95 is haunting me. Why 95 is alive I just can't say. Bill just stole the Mac And went back To Yesterday. Ah yesterday -- So where do I want to go today? To a place where Gates is far away. Oh, how I wish for yesterday.
INTERNET WRITER
(Alex Hander) (sung to the tune of "Paperback Writer") Internet Writer... Dear homepage surfer will you read my page It took a day to write it, it's the latest rage It based on a page by a man named Haber And I need a hobby So I wanna be an Internet writer INTERNET WRITER! It's a well done story, of the Beatles Anth I'll be writing more when I get a grant My PC runnin', but it needs t'be tighter And I need some cash So I gotta be an internet writer INTERNET WRITER! Internet Writer.... I think you'll like it, and I hope you will I gotta give you this or my service is killed If it seems too long, I can make it lighter But out of all of this, I wanna be an Internet writer INTERNET WRITER!
CHAT ROOM USER
(Alex Hander) (sung to the tune of "Blackbird") Chat Room user in my website Take these URLs, and view all night All the night, You were only waiting for these links, to be free Chat Room Site, Chat Room Site Into the light, of this new website Chat room user in my website Take this .jpg viewer and look and see All the night, You were only waiting, for this moment to see Chat Room Site, Chat Room Site Into the light, of this new website
LAWSUIT TO FIGHT
(Alex Hander) (sung to the tune of "Ticket To Ride") I think I'm gonna get mad, I think it's todaaaay, yeah! The page I think is so rad Has gone awaaaaay, yeah It's got a lawsuit to fight It's got a lawsuit to fi-hih-hight It's got a lawsuit to FIGHT So It's not there! They claimed that it's author was breakin the laaaaaaw, yeah! For he had posted some stuff That ev'ryone saaaaaaaaw, yeah! He's got a lawsuit to fight He's got a lawsuit to fi-hih-hight He's got a lawsuit to FIGHT So It's not there! I don't know why their price is so hi-igh They oughta think twice, they oughta do right, for me! And when the page is sayin' gooby-high I'm gonna think twice, and make one, for me! It's got a lawsuit to fight It's got a lawsuit to fi-hih-hight It's got a lawsuit to FIGHT So It's not there! The website's not there The website's not there The website's not there The website's not there
TYIN' THE LINE
(Alex Hander) (sung to the tune of "I Feel Fine") My PC's workin' fine, y'no I'm on it all the time, y'no Yes it's so... I really like the net, An' Tyin' The Line My server's good to me y'no It really helps me see, y'no I want mo'... I'm on quite alot, An' Tyin the line I'm so glad, My service is so good It's so rad, I'd live there if I could
WE HATE YOU
(Alex Hander) (sung to the tune of "She Loves You") We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah, YEAH! You think you're somethin' new, You're try-in' to brainwa-ah-ash! I've got one word for you And it's name is "Macintosh" And so we hate you, Cause we know you're really bad We hate you, You really make us maaad! (Bo-oo-oooo) We all loathe William Gates, For Windows Nienty-Fi-ah-ive And when we show our hate, We hope he won't survive! And so We hate you, Cause we know you're really bad We hate you, You really make us maaad! (Bo-oo-oooo) With a comp. like that, You really make us mad With a comp. like that, You really make us mad We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah We hate you, yeah, yeah, yeah, YEEAAH!
I COULD EAT EGGROLLS FOREVER
(SulfurFury@aol.com) (sung to the tune of "Strawberry Fields Forever") Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to The Hotel Cafe I don't have to pay I think the maitre' de likes me I could eat eggrolls forever. Eating is easy with eyes closed Open up your mouth and wedge it in It's getting hard to choose which kind but they all taste great It doesn't matter much to me. Let me take you down, cause I'm going to The Hotel Cafe I don't have to pay I think the maiter de' likes me I could eat eggrolls forever. No one I think is in my league I mean no one eats more than me That is, you know, you can't beat me but it's alright It's from the practice that I've had. Let me take you down, cause I'm going to The Hotel Cafe I don't have to pay I think the waiter he likes me I could eat eggrolls forever. Always hope that I'll lose this weight But you know I know when it's a dream I think I know of what to eat but it's all wrong So I think I'll eat these sweets. Let me take you down, cause I'm going to The Hocal Cafe I don't have to pay I think the maiter de likes me I could eat eggrolls forever. I could eat eggrolls forever I could eat eggrolls forever. (heavy guitar interlude) I ATE MRS. PAUL'S I AM THE WALRUS - GOO GOO G' JOOB NUMBER NINE... NUMBER NINE ONE, ONE.. NINE - ONE ONE... NINE, ONE, ONE..... (applause into fade..)
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