The Past
Where to start; this is a problem, for I never knew actually WHEN it started.
I myself am what I consider to be a very spiritual person who believes in more then just 'one god' or 'one right way'. I feel there is a Higher Power and it surrounds us all. Good and evil, we choose our path, then we answer for our choices later. I follow my Cherokee beliefs, and I follow my Native lessons and ways. To be categorized, I guess I would be; "One who delves into a bit of everything, and has no one chosen belief system." Shamanism, Kitchen, Green, Pagan, I practice all of it. Oils and herbs, candle and soap making, and lastly, healing. That is what I, and my chosen Craft and religion, is all about.
I found myself to be one who never quite fit into societies churches, I just went because I felt it was the 'right thing to do.' When I got older, I was never happy when I did go. I found the 'lessons' not to make sense, had a lot of questions that were never answered, and no matter how hard I tried, I just never fit in. I could never feel like I was a part of anything, and felt 'lost' or misplaced.
When I was an adult and still trying to figure out where I belonged, I found myself being categorized by certain church members by how much money I put in the passing plate. It wasn't just me, EVERYONE who attended was put in this 'special order'. It seemed as if the church folks who had money, and donated cars, buses and buildings, divided its member's into clichés. My sons and I were not exactly poor, but as a single working parent who was trying to get a degree in CJA at the time, with no support, things were tight.
If you did happen to put in enough money when that passing plate came around on Sunday, one of the 'rewards' was that you might get 'lucky' and have the pastor come to your home for supper one evening. Well he always went to the same houses and those of us that were not 'loaded with dough' never saw him on these nights. I, like some others was never "lucky" I guess. So here I was; scraping by as a single parent and saving everything I had, but I still put in the collection plate. I was watching every dime and sometimes felt guilty that I spent milk money or something, otherwise taking from my kids. As I was feeling this way, and struggled inwards and onwards, I watched the pastor buy a new car and add on to 'his' church house he lived in. That was when I made the decision to leave that church and some 'friends' that I did have there. As hard as it was, and as guilty as I had been made to feel, I did not go back at these church members requests.
As time went on, I moved around from church to church, trying to see where I fit in. I never did, no matter what church I tried, or what friends asked me to go to 'their churches'. It was then I really realized that all along I have always known I was 'different'. I believed that what I felt in my soul and religion wise was different, but I never knew how or where to place it, or use it properly......until now.
Now I find myself happy about my chosen religion, but still not being able to 'fit in' anywhere. Closeted is what (I), we, mostly are. Why? Because society does not want to try and understand what we are all about. Society in general is too quick to judge, and most people are so closed minded to what society has drilled into them from the time they are babies. To afraid to search out what is right for them, and to scared of the 'unknown.'
T.V. and the movies have done any of us who do not follow a 'mainstream' religion an injustice and made us appear to be 'devil worshipers', killers, and that we sacrifice babies and animals for not believing in the 'right way'. This is so far from the truth, and I hope by doing this page I might help people understand the truths about us.
MOST Pagans, Wiccans, and Shamanic people believe in peace, harmony, love, and the binding of nature, earth, people. I say "MOST" because I do not represent ALL Pagans/Wiccans who maybe DO NOT believe in the same things I do.
The Present
Since coming out of the ole 'proverbial broom-closet' my life has taken twists and turns I never knew existed. I am sure it will continue to do so, but while the ride is good, I'll stay on it and enjoy it.
I have learned a great many lessons on how people will use one another to better themselves. I have also learned the lessons of the greatness of true friends.
I pray to the Powers above that truth of who we are, and what we do, can be spread like wildfire through mainstream America. I often wonder why lessons have not already been learned by what my Native Brothers and Sisters have already endured, as well as other 'groups' of people who have been killed for not following 'biblical views' or those views of others who claimed 'power'.
Through trial and error, I will move forward and do my best to educate the closed mindedness of those around me. It is only us who pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, and keep going, that will succeed in the end, and I have never been a quitter.
These pages are clearly MY views and how I perceive things in my life and religion. Take it, leave, do what you want with it.........but PLEASE NO EMAILS telling me I have said something wrong or not up to par with what YOU might believe. After all, religion IS what one perceives as right for themselves and what makes one feel whole and complete with their soul. It's not about 'who' you worship, it how you perceive what is right or wrong for you.
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