When I was a kid, about eight maybe nine years old, I knew what I was suppose to do. I was to be a solider. I knew nothing of the word patriotism, selfless service, duty, honor, integrity, any of these but I knew I was an American.
When I was a teenager, in high school, I was a patriot, Love it or leave it. I would strike down, attack, or otherwise antagonize anyone who had an unkind word against MY country, regardless of his/her ideals, or beliefs. I was convinced that to love ones country meant to love ones government. To support and defend my government meant to support and defend my country. It was also during this time that I found I had no belief in god, which, up until that point, I had put no real thought into anyway. I had always known that he was not real, but until then, I didn't even bother to acknowledge the fact. It is an interesting situation, a patriot of a nation under god, yet not believing in the motto that my land carried. Was it ironic or a paradox? I didn't know then and I'm still not sure today.
So I joined the army, to show my patriotism, to prove all those who thought I would fail, wrong. I became an infantryman, the nations fighting force. I continued to lie to myself. Was I a puppet? Was I a pawn? Was I a real solider? I knew little of politics, little of how it really worked. Well, the army showed me, although; they may wish now that they didn't. Propaganda? No, I was not brain washed; the army doesn't practice this as far as I know, not as far as mindless obedience is concerned. But was I filled with false beliefs in self-serving men, in the infallible wisdom of politicians? Yes.
I served my country well, and I still serve today. But I only serve my country, my flag and my forefathers. I found, that the more you learn, the less you know. I didn't know anything. Now I know a little, and learn more everyday. I was not a patriot before. I am a patriot now. I have realized what it would do well every soldier to realize. I will fight for a flag and people but will not fight for a campaign contributor or a private agenda. If you read this now and see what I have just said as the rants of a sour solider that could not hack it in the military and is bitter because of it, you are wrong. I chose to leave, I left honorably, I left decorated, I left because I wanted to better myself and then go back in as an officer. I had learned how to follow, and every leader must first learn how to follow.
When the war with Iraq started, I regretted leaving with the strongest conviction. I felt guilty for not being next to my fellow soldiers, not being there with them as they put their lives on the line. For a solider its not, nor has it ever been, about the cause, about the greater picture. It's always, ALWAYS, about getting your friends home. I had no power to do that from where I was, but I was with them in spirit. I watched the news as much as humanly possible, keeping track of my old units progress as much as I could as they advanced through Iraq, in what I though at the time, a worthy undertaking. Remove the weapons a dictator did not need to have and free an oppressed population. We should have learned from the Vietnamese, a population only appreciates liberation when they earn it themselves.
The war has ended but my fellow soldiers still fall. I am now sickened by the actions of our nations leader. He is a liar, a murderer by proxy at best and killer of America's children. He sent troops to die for reasons only he really knows. Were lies his true motives? Revenge for his father? Delusions of grandeur? This is a question I want answered but I may never get them. So now I know where I stand. Now I know what a real patriot is. A patriot is a person, weather citizen or solider or both, who against the better judgment of their government, takes it upon themselves to see the big picture. What is the big picture? Is it covered in mass media? Do extremists rant it? Maybe but it is most defiantly found in your own open mind. To see all the facts, hear all the protests, draw from the mass of lies half-truths. Underestimated speaking the facts of the real world. What do I see? American indifference. But you may say, "how can America be indifferent when we have liberated the people of Iraq, South Korea, Somalia, Grenada and Panama?" We have freed no one, not in the way they would have chosen to be liberated. We were, in varying degrees, indifferent to their wishes and instead, instated and influenced our own. Do we control these and many other lands with puppet strings? Maybe, but we do, in many of these places, maintain a show of force, control trade, and hold corporate interests, among other things. We have made America instrumental in so many disputes around the world, that our military is being stretched extremely thin. We do not need to be in these places, and why are we? Because they have something we want. Land? Oil? Weapons? Information? Precious minerals? The list of things we take from the lands we free or assist is endless, and it usually comes back to haunt us, and I will mention this now as proof. Afghanistan.
So where do I go from here? Where do I really stand? I cannot be sure but I can tell you this much, our system of government is failing or failing as far as the astute citizen is concerned. To the American who pays no attention, or is happy to ignore the gasoline fumes around him, we do indeed have a great government and a great president, I ask this person to open their eyes. We live in the shadow of what once was a democracy. We live in the system of government where the checks and balances that were so coveted before, are now almost a memory. Where a government agency like the DEA can kill a fourteen-year-old girl in pursuit of her father, kill her in cold blood, and then cover it up. Where a horrible terrorist attack is a perfect reason to instate a system to monitor the citizens of a free country. Where freedom is now a hollow word. I was free once, now I'm just monitored, open to exam at any time by the government I have sworn to protect. This country was founded on beliefs that no longer exist, beliefs that were once the cornerstone of American politics and foreign policy, these were never meant to be polite suggestions. I can't really convey my true feelings, words just can't do justice to that which I feel, but I can try. Freedom has never been free, only now you don't fight for it; your tax bracket just has to buy it. You want to live a certain way? Just buy the next president before he is the next president. It is truly sad when the controlling faction of the most powerful nation on earth is nothing more than a larger scale good ol' boy system. Money truly does control the path we walk, even if you don't want to walk it.
So you may ask, "why are you writing this?" Well, because I want to use my freedom of speech before I'm branded a terrorist for what I say and am silenced. Will this really happen? Probably not, but its scary to think that it could, all someone has to do is take what Vie written the wrong way, and I would have a few FBI agents at my door. You may think this is a bit too Hollywood but you have all seen in the news or read in the newspaper of such things happening to people who were completely innocent. A protester can be branded a traitor, while a corporation can rob millions of people blind, then receive a government loan to bail themselves out of debt. I don't agree with most of the protests floating around out there, some of these people just don't think their arguments all the way through before opening their mouth. You can call the president a coward for avoiding a tour of duty in combat, when your main argument is against war in general. Is he wrong for doing it? Hell yes, there is nothing more dishonorable than backing out on your brothers in arms when they need you. Was that the situation with our dear leader? I don't know but I do know he did not go to a war when he was supposed to. But if you would have not gone either, you have no right to say anything. So we sit, safe in our homes, far away from a Middle Eastern desert, far away from an occupied country where American soldiers still die at the rate of one every three days. We watch the news clips, the sound bytes, the interviews with talking heads, and what do we do? How many of us will re-elect this man? How many more sons and daughters does he have to kill before the people speak? And if you speak, will it even matter? Welcome to a world fear has created. In protecting our homeland we have handed almost complete power over to an administration that will not hesitate to fabricate a grand story of terrorist links, nuclear material purchases and amass stores of weapons of mass destruction just to incite a war.
I said freedom has never been free but now it is truer than ever. Is it worth giving up your freedom to obtain your freedom? Does the government really need to be able to micro manage its entire population? Do you even have a voice anymore? American indifference is a strong phrase to use but until the people realize that we have ALL been lied to and deceived, we are all indifferent. Until America can see that force should only be used against those who use force against us, those who threaten our sovereignty, then we will remain an indifferent society. You can either stand by, ignoring the truth, as this country bleeds around you or you can make your voice heard. Don't fool yourself by thinking this wont work. In every situation majority will rule and sad but true, even more so if you have the media on your side. All I ask is that we think and by thought we breed change. Im done being indifferent, Im done siding with the majority just because its suppose to be the right thing to do. I know what patriotism means. In the end, it will be mans own indifference that destroys him.