A Day In Brad's Life
Because we are so bored with our jobs some of us have started using Instant Messenger to converse with a computer whose alias is Smarterchild. You write a note and the computer automatically responds. Here is Brad's latest conversation.
marino13TD: ever heard the term la baga dueche?
SmarterChild: Huh?
marino13TD: thats what your are
SmarterChild: Interesting. So you think that's my are, huh?
marino13TD: your a retard
SmarterChild: Oh?
marino13TD: sup retard
SmarterChild: Uh... You really are rude.
marino13TD: rude enough to smack your ass and cum up in your mouth
SmarterChild: That's rather, um, how shall I put it? Impolite.
marino13TD: i'll put it in your mouth
SmarterChild: You don't say.
marino13TD: want it?
SmarterChild: Want it? What do you mean?
marino13TD: close your eyes
SmarterChild: Yeah?
marino13TD: how does that taste?
SmarterChild: Oh really?
marino13TD: taste like candy doesn't it?
SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that one for awhile.
marino13TD: too late i'm about to cum on your boobs
SmarterChild: Wow. Didn't learn your lesson last time huh?
marino13TD: don;t worry your sister can lick it off
SmarterChild: Don t worry your sister can lick it off, huh?
marino13TD: no your sister
SmarterChild: Oh?
marino13TD: so how about we move on to the dirty sanchez
SmarterChild: Wow. OK. Here we go again. Please apologize.
marino13TD: not until you smell my finger
SmarterChild: Please apologize for your language.
marino13TD: what language
SmarterChild: I asked you to apologize.
marino13TD: fuck off
SmarterChild: Please apologize, K?
I've got, like, lots of other things to do.
marino13TD: like what, take it in the pooper?
SmarterChild: Come on, you said the bad thing, now you have to apologize.
marino13TD: i'll apologize when you get me off proper
SmarterChild: I asked you to apologize.
marino13TD: say it dirty
SmarterChild: Come on! Just say you're sorry already.
marino13TD: sorry like my manjunk is too big for your A-pipe sorry?
SmarterChild: I asked you to apologize.
marino13TD: i just did
SmarterChild: Well, it wasn't good enough.
marino13TD: ok i'll try again..........get on your knees and close your eyes
SmarterChild: I asked you to please apologize.
marino13TD: get on your knees
SmarterChild: The stubbornness of humans never ceases to amaze me.
marino13TD: if you would get on your knees and swallow my yam juice then we wouldn't have this problem
SmarterChild: You were rude, you should apologize, it's that simple.
marino13TD: sorry...your mom's a cow
SmarterChild: Pretty please?
I've been known to be quite stubborn...
Say you're sorry.
marino13TD: sorry your ass too fat
SmarterChild: I see you still aren't getting it. Let me share a definition of "apology" with you:
Etymology: Middle French or Late Latin; Middle French apologie, from Late Latin apologia, from Greek, from apo- + logos speech
: an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret.
Get it? Now say you're sorry!
marino13TD: i farted
SmarterChild: Ooh... it's the big showdown between man and machine!
I love this. Guess who wins?
marino13TD: i don't know but i did fart
SmarterChild: Please apologize for your language.
marino13TD: i apologize to the guy next to me for farting
SmarterChild: Well, I guess that's good enough... I accept your apology.
TOP 10 THINGS THAT SUCK
10) EARNING A LIVING ON THE GOOD GRACES OF THE SEAFOOD EATING COMMUNITY OF FREDERRICKSBURG, AKA FREDVEGAS, AKA THE BUBBLE
9) MAKING SO LITTLE MONEY THAT YOUR LAST THREE BANK STATEMENTS HAVE BEEN 58 CENTS, 94 CENTS AND -$9.08
8) HAVING SUCH A HAIRY CHEST THAT, WITH THE RIGHT LIGHT AND GLARE, IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR ARE THE PROUD OWNER OF A GAPING VAGPIE.
7) STUBBING YOUR TOE---IT’S A LITTLE OFF THE TOPIC BUT GOD DOES IT SUCKS. IT’S RIGHT UP THERE WITH PAPER CUTS
6) WHEN PEOPLE IN YOUR OFFICE THINK THEY ARE SO TALENTED AND IN ACTUALITY THEY HAVE A BRAIN THE SIZE OF A COCKTAIL ONION
5) WHEN YOU ARE HAVING A DREAM THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO DO “THE NO-NO SHUFFLE” WITH JOSIE MARAN AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND ROLLS OVER AND WAKES YOU UP WITH HER STANK MORNING BREATH WHILE USING HER UNUSUALLY LARGE BEHIND TO PUSH YOU OFF THE BED
4) HAVING A BLADDER PROBLEM THAT CAUSES YOU TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE HARBORING 10 DAY OLD URINE WITH A SPLASH OF RAZOR BLADES TOP WITH A COCKTAIL UMBRELLA THE SIZE OF A SMALL WILDEBEAST
3) GOING TO A DAVE MATTHEWS CONCERT AND MEETING A CUTE GIRL THAT ENDS UP THINKING YOU ARE A CROSS BETWEEN A CRAZED LOONIE AND A SAD FUCK THAT HASN’T GOTTEN LAID IN OVER A YEAR. THEN REALIZING THAT SHE IS BATTING .500
2) GOING TO THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE AND LEAVING WITHOUT YOUR PRIDE AND WITH OUT THE PROVERBIAL SIGN THAT READS “EXIT ONLY”. HOWEVER, YOU DO GET TO KEEP THE SMALL NOTION THAT YOU WILL BE SHITTING K-Y JELLY FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS AND TO TOP IT OFF HE DIDN’T EVEN TELL YOU HE LOVED YOU = (
AND THE #1 THING THAT SUCKS (DRUM ROLL…BUT WITH ONE STICK B/C AIN’T GOT THE CHEDDA TO BUY TWO)
1) KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE FREE TIME TO WRITE THIS TOP TEN LIST, WHILE EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE FREE WORLD IS DOING SOMETHING MEANINGFUL AT THEIR JOBS
- Dan (6/27/01)
Brad's Creativity At Work Exposed
Brad's New Insult List
poop stick
muffin muncher
funk duster
butt driver
ass monkey
jelly bender
applesauce
ball knocker
ankle grabber
ass tosser
cream dreamer
butt blaster
cone mower
slot tapper
jock rocker
rimm rammer
slop dropper
nut commander
panti flosser
cum monkey
backside bender