For Joey
-Any kind of edible substance
-The number of a good therapist
-Nair
-Helplines to call for more information on STD’s
-Blow-up Doll
-One of those pet grooming brushes
-Bananas
-A muumuu
-Glasses...so he can clearly see how young the girls are before he invites them up to his hotel room to “hang out.”
-Extra strength harnesses for when they do their neato flying above the audience...you know, the flying that they didn't copy from anyone else
-A big nametag for him to wear that says “I am not bigfoot” It would probably help prevent some unnecessary mishaps when he goes camping
-Business card of someplace he could get a good dye job
Thanks to Christine for the next item:
-A copy of "Planet of the Apes" with a note attached that says "Hey Joey I found this movie with a lot
of your relatives in it. I didn't know you had relatives in Show Biz!"
For Lance
-Copies of Family Circle, GoodHousekeeping, and Better Homes & Gardens
-Tampons
-Eyeliner, eyeshadow, lipstick, and blush
-2 tickets for him and Justin to Vermont or Hawaii
-A blonde wig
-Rasberry lotion
-A dress
-The latest Danielle Steel novel
-Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
-Estrogen pills
-Motivational tapes on how to be a strong, independent woman
-Dildo
-Trivial Pursuit (he really sucked on Who Wants to be a Millionaire)
-Sunblock SPF600
Thanks to Christine for the next five items:
-Diaphram
-Breast implants
-Lacy bikini panties
-A nut cup in the smallest available size to protect him from all the inevitable kicks to that area by all the unwilling men he trys to hump LOL!! That's a good one.
-A copy of Singing for Dummies
For Justin
-A hair net
-Phonics books or tapes
-The original Annie movie with a post-it on top that says “notice the similarities”
-Genital Warts medication...actually any kind of STD medication would probably be beneficial, who knows what he caught from Britney
-Herbal Essence Shampoo and Conditioner for soft, more manageable, bouncy curls
-Some kind of allergy medication...his singing voice is so nasally, we think he might be allergic to something.
-A dictionary
-Dildo
-A case of pregnancy tests so he can make Britney test herself everyday.
Thanks to Christine for the next item:
-A plunger so he can remove whatever is up his ass
that makes him sing so terribly.
For JC
-Boxes of tissues...he’s bound to need quite a few with that giant honker
-pep pills
-sunglasses. If you don't know why he needs them, click here - Buy this man some sunglasses
-business card of good plastic surgeon
-Dildo
-A mirror...his ego needs to be taken down a few notches
For Chris
-A book of knock-knock jokes so he can dazzle us with more of his fabulous humor
-Headgear...to go with the braces
-The address of a whorehouse. He looks like he needs to get laid
-Copies of Playboy or Penthouse...better throw up a few boxes of tissues with those
-Dog biscuits
-Dildo
Thanks to chattes_girl for the next item:
-A tape of the BSB, in case the tape they lip sync to stops playing. At least those that were forced to go can get a break, and those with a momentary lapse in sanity can once again realize what real talent sounds like.
Think of something to add to the list? Please Email us with more “Items to throw at Nsuck”
Chicken Girl #1
