episode reviews

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ryder/moby
intro
-fidel (ferrell) talking to jimmy carter (hammond) using an interpreter (rudolph)
-"...but a rabbit, that's crazy."
monologue
-winona's dressed all in black, of course
-good plug [for mr. deeds], winona. good plug
-lol, the security camer footage is brilliant
-darrel to ana: "that is not my baby!"
-haha, tina shaving
-omg, jimmy peeing in lorne's coffee... hysterical
-amy pounding on a door... winona: "oh no, it looks like she's locked in her room!" tracy: "oh no no no, that's my room."
-haha, good jokes about winnie being a klepto
celebrity rock and roll jeopardy
-one final jeopardy... :(
-jimmy as dave matthews, winona as bjork, and yes, darrel as sean connery!!!
-"there once was a man named trebek, who had the world's tiniest pe-"
-"are you icelandic or retarded?!"
-"i garfunkled your mother."
-yay, jimmy with a guitar! and dean w/ a violin
-"i'll take 'i have a hard on' for 600"
-the real alex trebek!!!!
wedding reception
-winona and seth got hitched... at least it wasn't jimmy
-ferrell and parnell are winnie's gay fathers
-lol, kattan and rudolph are hilarious... they just glare and look disgustedly at the men
-yay, f+p are singing! i think it's called "tonight." they actually sound pretty good together
-lmao, they got horatio up there to "translate our words into movement"
-the way this just keeps dragging on is hilarious
-who the hell are those extras and how does one get to be an extra?
itex research lab
-jimmy is adoreable as the assistant!
-lol, will accidentally said "beer" instead of "bear"
-winona wants will to shoot his wife (ana) so they (will+winona) can be together... they set loose their bear instead, but the bear just picks up the gun and shoots ana... the police come and arrest will and the bear turns out to be seth, will's brother, who winona's actually in love with and now they have the family forune
-"you taught the bear to shoot a gun? that's amazing!" "i didn't! he watched too much tv!"
-lol, they put jimmy between darrel and will and he's already starting to laugh
-"14 years in a bear suit finally payed off" -just so you know, they've been trying to air this skit since the gwyneth paltrow episode
botox commercial
-"i want a paralyzed face, but i'm too young for a stroke"
-eew, that kind of looks like the needles are actually going into their faces
-lol, drool
search for a playboy centerfold
-lol, rachel as a playbunny
-maya too! "i'll be flashing it for harriet tubman"
-winona's a contestant, of course
-lmao, amy as amber the one-legged girl again!!
-"this is my underground railroad"
-heh, kattan prepping winona the cry-baby
-"i gotta eat these nuts to keep my blood sugar right. yeah, you like it!"
-lol, will as hugh hefner
-"shut up, pogo stick!"
-ana as alana divine, previous playboy model
-winona won, of course
-pssh, i just saw amy's leg
weekend update
-the hair gets an a+ tonight
-haha, tina laughed at her own joke
-sweet, a shout-out to spongebob squarepants
-omg, is there an evil drunk cowboy in the audience?! what's with that guy's laugh?!
-holy, robin (in that picture of robin+batman) looks like kattan!!
-yay, another of tina's rants! pssh, she doesn't have a kid? so quickly they forget savannah
-dratch, rudolph and poehler are hilarious. "yeah, me and my four cats will get right on that" "you guys wanna go stare at ana?"
-aww, jimmy's smiles are too cute
-ah, a final neil diamond from will. they better have gay hitler up there too!!
-lol, jimmy is scrunching up his face in all sorts of ways to keep from laughing and look interested... aww, and now he's bobbing his head
-omg! the weekend update 2002 all-stars! how cool is this? gay hitler, drunk girl, geraldo rivera and the real neil diamond!!!
-jeff is awesome. i love drunk girl
-aww, tina grabbed jimmy's chin
moby
-you bald, crazy little man
-he has a weird mouth
-ack, he keeps looking into the camera with this creepy look on his face
-what's with the huge ensemble? whoa, that girl's hair is whiter than christina aguilera's!
-the back-up singer looks high
-this song is ok... kind of slow and flat... it's called "we are all made of stars" i think... someone was on acide when they wrote this song!
the luvahs
-yes!! i'm so glad we get a final one
-oh dear lord, winona, back the hell up from half-naked jimmy!!!
-will in a speedo, heh
-winnie's name is clarissa... eww
-aww, jimmy's cracking up again
-"it's hot tub, not 'ha tubb!'"
-5 bucks say that will is pinching jimmy under the water again
-"whose hand is on my cul-de-sac?!"
-there's a lot of fog over the water
-lol, will keeps squirting wine into jimmy's mouth while he's trying to say his lines so he'll mess up
-whoa, jimmy's been working on his abs!
-good, winona's unconscious. serves her right
mango
-lol, "little women 2: bigger women" -aww, moby is pathetically cute. lol, his shirt says i heart eminem. (eminem "disses" him in his song)
-ooh, boys in speedos, very nice. they had to throw those hilarious dancers in there at some point
-winona's in love with mango. of course. grr, i hate her
-lol, she's wearing a "free mango" shirt (which i desperately want!!) like the shirts that were made of her ("free winona")
moby
-ooh, red light
-he can't sing "south side," gwen's not here!! ... oh yeah, back-up singers
-this is pretty good. not as energetic as it could be. better than the last song
-lol, his auxilary percussion guy is hilarious
-aah! the back-up singer's mouth is huge! she could like, fit it around moby's bald little egghead! it looks like the alien's second mouth in the alien movies! eeww!!
-fine, go ahead and cut moby off when he's bringing the house down
tribute to will ferrell
-aaaaaww! this is so touching
-jimmy is so sweet: "i probably ruined lots of sketches, but i don't care. i got to be on stage with will ferrell
-lol, tracy is wearing a shirt w/ tweety bird on it. he keeps tripping over his words, he's talking so fast. his rant about how horrible will is is hysterical. aww, now he kissed will!
-do you think they're friends with will? i don't know if they made that clear...
-that made my heart happy. goodbye will
closing
-could the will love be any stronger?
-aww, it looked like maya was crying
overall this was a great, great show... it was completely a tribute to will... how cool of alex trebek and neil diamond to show up!... shirtless jimmy, always a plus... all the best will skits... i hope kattan ends up staying, because we didn't see enough of him in this episode... wonderful. everything was wonderful
rating: ***** (out of 5)

dunst/eminem
intro
-back to political sketches
-"they will not make you look stupid, they will not make you look stupid" ~bush
-"i also liked his wife, queen amidala" ~more bush
-"is this some kind of test?" "i ask myself that every day"
-why is maya even there if she only has like, 2 lines?
monologue
-aww, that's so cute that she was in that sketch with dana carvey when she was little!
-i don't like her dress. man, she never wears a bra! ever!
-lol, horatio as spiderman!
-horatio: "i was fighting beeman"
kirsten: "i've never even heard of beeman"
horatio: "and you never will, 'cause i kicked his ass!"
-oops, she pulled off his mask completely
-they've totally thrown themselves off... they're bombing... it's way too awkward. horatio did his best to save it, bless his heart, and he almost did... stupid kirsten dunst
pregnancy test commercial
-pretty funny
-ana's huge!!!!
-aww, her belly button is sticking out and everything!
last call w/ carson daly
-kirsten is spoofing alicia keys... oh, now she's vanessa carlton
-"yeah... they're about saget..."
-now she's alanis... hmm, actually, she's trying to imitate their voices and isn't that bad
-ok! we get it! she's cute! shut up!
-props to the piano player in the band. you rock
-now she's gone back to being alicia keys
-"you and me are engaged" what is it with them pretending to be engaged? huh?! what?!
tv funhouse - bambi 2002
-"and frozen next to walt disney's head"
-dude! i would so see that movie! lol. bambi rapping and doing matrix-style moves? priceless
altzheimers medication
-"i'm having lunch with eleanor roosevelt... and yogi bear" ok, seriously, which writer has the thing for yogi bear? who is it?!
next week is the season finale!!! winona ryder hosts, moby performs
tv show filming
-maya and kattan are trying to do their scene, but will, amy and kirsten are background extras who keep messing the scene up
-is it just me or would maya and chris make a cute couple?
-whoa, amy, will and kirsten look like they could be related
-"it's so hard to leave when you're a family"
jarret's room
-lol, seth kicks. what the hell is wrong with that cd player?
-a second star wars/bong shout-out. i love it
-"dude... you gotta know that wasn't a dream"
-eeeww! test tube!
-jimmy: "wow... what a skinny test tube"
horatio: "pretty long though!"
-lol, i'm loving the kirsten-amy version of jarret and goby
-"hey man, i'm sorry about your 8 grandmas"
-dammit! i knew they were going to kiss at one point on the show, but on jarret??!! my favourite jimmy sketch ever???! unclean!!! unclean!!!!
-spongebob squarepants!!! yahoo!!
eminem
-guess who's back? ok, my guess is... a big asshole. hey, look at that, i was right!
-my god, he's talented. he paces, bobs up and down, and waves the little towel around better than anyone i've ever seen!
-he sure thinks highly of himself
weekend update
-the hair isn't too bad tonight
-the update door!! ah, dammit, it's kirsten... she totally just ruined it
-oh god. maya and kirsten as the hilton sisters. lol, maya fell really well
-whoa! kirsten is soooo not allowed to touch his hair!! that's it... this means war, kirsten
-yes!!!! terrible re-enactment of some guy streaking in front of the queen!! lol, chris makes a bee-you-tee-full queen! love the wig. aaah, chris half naked!! wee! jimmy: "tina, don't look!" chris: (as the queen again with a crooked wig) "oh, i'm scandalized!"
-"michael, michael... you had me at 'bleep'" ~tina
-yay! parnell. oh, shut up! kirsten is not that wonderful!! lol, i love it when parnell raps! he's better than eminem. aww, ti and jimmy were lip-synching. cute
court tv - kournikova v. penthouse
-"these were not meine boobings" ~kirsten as anna kournikova
-"but not the boobings tips!" ~kournikova
-aww!! kattan go-go dancing! is there anything that man can't make absolutely adoreable?!
-a midget? ... on a tricycle? ... cool!
-aaw, seth is so cute as a nerd
-lol, will looks hilarious. he's pimpin' now. nice crotch
-i love how they just threw darrel in there at the end
wake up wakefield
-yahoo! yippee!! yay!! yeah!!
-awww, tina in pigtails!!
-"why is sheldon here? he's a boy!"
-"who needs ecstasy when you live right next door to randy goldman?"
-kirsten with a retainer on almost makes up for her kissing jimmy. actually, it doesn't at all. but i laughed at her anyway
-wha?! not again! no!! you did not just desicrate (sp?) wuw too!!! f*** you, kirsten. f***. you.
dance auditions
-they just had to put eminem in a sketch, didn't they?
-now kirsten is their cousin? psssh
-eminem totally sucked the energy out of the skit
-"eminem... quite frankly, i don't care where you melt"
-"he is a gang banger, he will gang bang us!"
-god, now she's kissing eminem?! slut. so she just kissed him on the head... still. grr.
closing
-she's awfully pally with eminem. eww, their hair is like, exactly the same shade of blond
overall
wasn't working at the beginning... tons of jimmy and kattan... best jimmy skits, even if kirsten ruined them... eminem annoys me... not enough seth... i have uncontrollable rage and jealousy towards kirsten now
rating: *** (out of 5)

baldwin/p.o.d.
opening
-will, ana, parnell, darrel, jimmy (v.o.)
-blake murder trial
-did parnell get a haircut?
-geraldo again... why god, why?
-wow, ok, geraldo says "dastardly" a lot, we get it already
-bonnie bakely looks like a chipmunk
-"boom boom you little rascal"
-"he should get johnny cochrin"
-the parrot again. yawn
monologue
-alec looks sharp in that suit
-it's his 10th time hosting
-darrel as al gore
-yes! come to canada alec!
-"you gotta take it easy, home slice"
-"step 3: get your hands on a mess of fine whiskey"
-"come on, let your freak flag fly"
-woohoo, it's a musical! wait, no it's not. that was a pathetic excuse for a song. pathetic
commercial
-yay! it's the kotex commercial again. the girls rock
office voicemail
-basically, whenever alec records his voicemail outgoing message, he sounds flamboyantly homosexual when he replays it
-ah, kylie minogue shout-outs. "and how do i who kylie minogue is?!"
-ooh, a male stripper... in a construction outfit... mama like...
party
-basically, when these guys are promoted to 7-figure salaries, they divorce their wives and start dating elderly black women (it doesn't get much more random than that)
-haha, tracy is alec's date
-"way to go man, she is hot" ~jimmy, talking to alec about his elderly black woman-friend
-"of course i've thought of getting it on with an elderly black woman!"
-"she looks at me again and i'll slap the white right off her!"
next week: kirsten dunst and eminem. i forecast lots of jimmy-kirsten skits. ahh, jimmy goodness
ozzy in the recording studio
-horatio as ozzy is hilarious! he's dead-on with the mumble
-"a chicken fajita would sure hit the spot"
-"i used to bite the head off doves"
-that poor dog! they seriously shouldn't be allowed to use live animals on this show. at least not quivery little dogs like that one
the cardinals
-will ferrell with a jet pack is always good
-"the man with the plan"
-"i'm there yesterday"
-lol, alec as pope john paul
-"i got something to say to yous guys. keep your pecker in your pants"
weekend update
-jimmy really looks happy tonight. :D
-what?! the audience doesn't know how to applaud to jimmy's jokes, but they applaud to ally mcbeal being cancelled? jerks!
-yay! rachel as ally mcb! oh man, she's great at that. so, does jimmy have to be kissed on w.u. every week now? is that a rule? who instated it? can i be on? please? pretty please?
-aaaaaaaah! seth as tobey maguire! absolutely hysterical. that's actually a great impression. lmao, "sorry tina. i sometimes lack the energy to expell words from my mouth"
-lol, savannah? tina named her kid savannah? cruel. "s-dawg." "mommy works two jobs." "for the last time, your father is a married television executive!" "hey savannah, wanna know a secret? i wear jeans under here, i don't even have a full suit. isn't that weird?" "tina, i wasn't hitting on her, i swear."
-awww, jimmy threw his pencil, smiled at the person who caught it, said "throw it back" all cute, and then caught it even cuter. aww. aww. ok, that's enough. no wait... aww. ok, now i'm done.
p.o.d.
-i believe this song is titled something along the lines of "we are" and "youth of the nation"
-this guy's 'dancing' is almost as bad as andrew w.k.'s!
-wow, those backup singers look absolutely thrilled to be there. pssh, ingrates
-my god this is a sad song
the luvahs
-it's roger's 47th surprise birthday party
-'tequila mocking bird,' lol. priceless
-"self-pleasure, the lost art!"
-what the hell is with the asian man?!
-did someone say hot tub? as long as jimmy participates again, i fully support the idea
france
-funny, kind of out of place... a bit inappropriate
-since when do we all hate the french? i must have missed that memo. hate it when that happens
the tony bennett show
-i guess alec likes singing. meh, at least he's got a decent voice
-whoa, echoing mic effect
-lol, maya and kattan as liza minelli and her husband david. maya's totally got the voice, and kattan's facial expression is wonderful. he's too cute to convey just how ugly the guy actually is, though
-what was with the dr. scholl's shout-out?
-that was the first skit chris was in all night, and it sucked. what's with that?! i'm going to freak out!
tv funhouse cartoon - the anitominals
-genitally enhanced yogi bear
-"jimmy fallon... he's more of a weekly thing..."
p.o.d. - "alive"
-i guess p.o.d. doesn't get any of those fancy pictures
-wow, that drummer's insane. but good
-this is much better than the last song
my big thick novel
-chapter 1345
-these are getting old. seriously
overall
jimmy was happy, so thumbs up... skits not very funny, not a lot of energy... a few good things (tobey maguire!!!)... they're totally underusing kattan! less commercials and more kattan, i say!
rating: *** (out of 5)

the rock/andrew w.k.
intro & monologue (n/a)
brian fellows
-"that bird is not brian fellows."
scorpion king
-great set
-aww, seth is adoreable as the scorpion king's son
-maya makes a a great queen
-how on earth can one man be so ripped?
-this was kind of slow, but yay for jimmy! saving the day with his cuteness!
-lol, the rock can't say "tomb"
next week: alec baldwin and p.o.d.
arthur-anderson
-a bit boring, not that funny
-amy plays a waitress
-nice try, i guess
hardball
-characters: pat cadell (jimmy), chris matthews (darrel), dick armey (will), kattan as... someone
-"i'm gonna beat you so hard, your dog will be retarded!" ~matthews
-"jimmy neutron, you got a comment?" ~matthews again, talking to chris
-good dialogue between chris and darrel
-are there 2 l's in hammond's name?
-hilarious pic of chris in leather
-jimmy looks really creepy!
-darrel lost it and laughed! the sky is falling, the sky is falling!!
-"and if that doesn't work we could take it over and call it 'america 2.' we could us it for storage."
-"weird little garden gnome" ~matthews referring to chris. ha, actually, that's fitting for him
drunk girl
-!!! finally 'she' gets her own skit!! yay!!
-"did we just do it?"
-d.g.: "i know people"
seth: "seriously, how did you get in here?"
d.g.: "chased morgan."
-yes! the rock as drunk girl's friend. he's good, but not nearly as good as jeff. jeff kicks. i love jeff. did we just do it?
-"you're like a bird, you always fly away! hahaha."
-did you know that the rock's name is dwayne? seriously. dwayne!!
-haha, dwayne had to readjust his boobs
subway (the train, not the restaurant!)
-i love tracy's fro
-tracy is too cool
-yay for musical skits!
-maya can sing, but she sounds like crap in this. i guess that's supposed to be part of the funny thing but it's just not working for me
-"you should pimp yourself a job" ~maya
-"i got dangerous bruce lee moves" ~tracy
girl with no gaydar
-yay! i missed you, g.w.n.g.! i missed you
-hurrah for the dancers
-jimmy as "darcy winston" is almost too hot as a gay guy
-"gonna keep it solid, like mahogany"
-omg, seth and dean in drag! hysterical
-any excuse for dwayne to sing is good enough for me
-awww, jimmy was hugging chris while dwayne sang... sigh... sweet, brotherly, platonic assplay- i mean, love. platonic love, that's right
weekend update
-the hair is not good tonight. tsk, are their hairdressers drunk or what?
-this is the second week in a row that they've added dialogue to a still picture. i like it, i hope they keep doing it (it was a pic of hilary clinton and elton john smiling at each other, and jimmy said, "you remind me of an old boyfriend. *pause* so do you.")
-aww, no one's applauding jimmy's jokes! damn you, studio audience! damn you!!!
-yay, horatio is a guest again. hmm, one liners? ooookay...
-sweet! "the bare necessities"! tina jimmy and horatio dancing! cuuute
-why the hell was it so short?
andrew w.k.
-"party hard" i believe
-uh... he's kind of frightening
-what's he doing? trying to imitate 'riverdance'?
-uh guys? go back to the 80's. either that, or wash yourselves, cut your hair, and get some decent clothes
-why on earth does this guy need so many people in his band?
-andrew is barely heard over the 40 or so guitars and other assorted instruments
-quick! call a doctor! he's having spasms! oh wait, this is the climax of the song. silly me
-why is the crowd applauding so hard?! they actually liked this crap? wtf?
bigfoot
-more dwayne singing
-my guess is that they found the costume in the props dpt., and decided to use it in a sketch
-neil diamond! lol
-"this guy's voice is so sweet it almost makes you forget about the astounding amount of human feces in his hair" ~neil d., talking about bigfoot
-"listen folks, i'm not sure if this is real or not, i'm stoned out of my bowl right now" ~neil
-"i'm pretty sure i'm in my basement talking to my water heater right now" ~even more neil diamond
-will is awesome. absolutely awesome
-"you don't have to talk to me like that water heater! i'm neil diamond!"
h.b.o. america undercover
-yay! they're back!
-"my husband jumped off the roof!"
-"i love you so hard"
-"don't let them probe me!"
-"i'm gonna stick my thumb in your head hole!" "i'm gonna bleed on your butt!"
-"i tolds you, birds is magic!"
-lol, a chris kattan pillow!
-"take that tarzan, now i'm the king of the jungle!"
-haha, amy went difibilator-happy
andrew w.k.
-i haven't the slightest clue what this song is called, but i'm willing to bet it has the word "party" in the title
-just as frightening, crazy and dirty as 30 minutes ago
-eww, he keeps putting the mic in his pants
-aaaah! now his face is convulsing!!!
-now he's pouring water over his greasy head. i wouldn't be surprised if that's the closest thing he's had to a shower in days
message from s.n.l.
-aaaah! a new song!
-"everybody chillout, everybody chill"
-"sometimes we get drunk after the show, sometimes we get drunk during the show"
-yay! tracy has lines! but they cut him off!!! bastards!!!
ending
-they even cut off dwayne's thank-you's. what in hell?
overall
things were way too rushed... brought back girl with no gaydar, drunk girl, and undercover america... good new song... hated andrew w.k.... neil diamond was awesome... lots of singing, not enough seth
rating: *** (out of 5)

diaz/jimmy eat world
intro
- instead of a political sketch, it's the culps. hmm, are they trying to work ana in as much as possible before she pops, or is the president just not funny any more?
- pretty funny, different is good, seems like they're really embracing ana's pregnancy.
monologue
- lots of ass!
- aww, cammy's adoreable
- her shirt is awesome
- i love how they worked will into it.
car awards
- shamelessly making fun of the oscars (but damn, it's funny!)
- parnell's halle berry is hilarious!!
- those dancers kick ass
mtv spring break
- yes! someone hit amy with a beach ball!
- 3rd time cam has stumbled over her lines already
- their dancing is hysterical! shania twain?!
- wow, tracy's finally in a skit near the beginning
- am i crazy, or was that guy running/dancing along the stage supposed to be michael flatley?
- another oscars crack! i love it.
- there have been 530 episodes of snl, apparently! tres cool.
tracy morgan in space
- why, for the love or god why?! oh well, at least this one is funnier than the last
- short and sweet
celine
- "the most important person in the world" heh.
- ana makes a great celine dion.
style
- this is the second skit with amy as the main character already
- i love all the british slang
- haha, amy got punched in the face. that'll teach her!
- lol, "wherever you need to feel gorgeous"
- cam's hair looks horrible
- jimmy!! as jamie oliver!! the naked chef!! oh my... he is dead sexy with that accent and blond hair!
- pssh, the kissing of cam's neck is totally unnecessary... grr...
weekend update
- the hair is very weird tonight
- "palestinians would clean up on 'fear factor.'" -tina
- "girl, it's a scandal." -jimmy lol! the way he said that was perfect
- why is everyone messing up their lines tonight?!
- more oscars cracks!! dean and maya are absolutely hilarious as denzel and halle! they even replicated halle's dress, it looks great!
- "halle is gone." - denzel
- yay! julia roberts! omg, amy is so funny. "what makes this so special is me being involved!"
- oh snap! ahh robot tina!! lmao
- aww, "but they didn't have to laugh at my shark diarrhea theory." -jimmy
- pssh, why does tina get all the special things?
- more darrel as geraldo
- jasper hahn!! yay!!
- aww, jimmy's so cute when he cracks up
- jasper: "what, can't a clam have facial hair?" jimmy: "absoluuuutely nooooot!
- apparently jimmy likes cammy's pussy... cat... what a surprise. gasp, what will jared leto think?!
jimmy eat world - "the middle"
- i love this song!
- they sound good, the energy is good
- is it just me or does the lead singer look like he could be easily impersonated by will ferrell?
- i like the little changes they made from the recorded version
mr. peepers
- yay!! i love mr. peepers! did you know there's this internet group that watches mr. peeper's backwards?! weird. cool... but weird
- hmm, looks like will got a haircut
- haha, cam as ms. peepers
- this is chris' first skit tonight. they're completely underusing him, and it's pissing me off. i mean, he's leaving after this season!!
- lol, they're humping guatamala and turkey
- yay for stunt glass
- man, the skits are really short tonight
mtv 4
- yay! all the girls in one skit!
- is it just me or do they remind you of the teletubbies?
- horatio does not look good with his head shaved
- maya reminds me of ms. swan on madtv... ick. funny, but ick.
jimmy eat world
- still good, still energetic, still lookin' like will ferrell
my big fat novel
- seems like just an excuse to show a drawing of a topless woman
overall pretty funny... lots of lines messed up, but oh well... cam was pretty good... lots of funny stuff out of the blue... chris totally underused, i mean, all he said during this entire episode was "bah!"... dean and tracy got skits, so yay!... all the skits very short, but worked well... jimmy eat world rocked... lots of oscars, very very funny.
rating: **** (out of 5)