I like pudding, it makes me feel happy. If I ever feel down, I just grab a pudding, there are oh-so-many flavors of pudding to choose from, but I like the chocolate pudding the best, maybe because it looks like what pudding is supposed to look like...pudding-ish. Sometimes I like to eat that one kind of pudding that is chocolate but it has that little swirl of vanilla in the middle, so when you eat it you’re thinking "oh I like chocolate pudding and this is chocolate pudding and its really good" but then you eat some of the vanilla and you think "wow, that was a really funny trick they pulled on me, because I thought I was eating normal pudding, but there is some vanilla in it.  When I told this to my teacher, she laughed, leaned back and recalled bitter memories of some war, but I wasn’t listening because I was thinking how good pudding is. I wonder if Russians eat pudding, they probably do eat lots of pudding like me only they don’t call it pudding, probably, they probably call it something like "poodink".  But I really don’t know because I only know one kind of pudding and that’s the American pudding that’s made with pudding mix, especially when you mix it yourself and then you eat it, but you have to wait for it to harden but its good when you wait because sometimes it makes you feel good to realize that you know how to make delicious low fat non-dairy pudding.  Sometimes Mom buys the cheap pudding, which is O.K. but I prefer the much more sophisticated kind of pudding, the kind that is made by that company named "Jell-O” but it took my mom a long time to convince me that pudding and jello and Jell-O brand pudding are different but I think if you mixed it all together and then somehow made it so that it was glow in the dark… I’m not sure what would happen but it would probably taste good and then glow in your stomach, but only if you were in a dark room, with all the lights out.  But, if you think that only your mom knows how to make pudding, then you wouldn’t know that other people are good at (and enjoy making) pudding.  Like me.   Someday I want to be a famous pudding chef and experiment with many different types of pudding.  Maybe I could make fruit flavored pudding that sort of sticks to the spoon, but only enough to make you think, "uh-oh the pudding isn’t going to come off the spoon what am I going to do because I really wanted to try some of this really fine good pudding that the pudding chef made only that the pudding is sticking to the spoon" but then the pudding comes off, and in an explosion of flavor, your tongue dances wildly as you realize that somebody put hot sauce in the pudding and that your the allergic to peppers, but I wouldn’t do that to you because I think that pudding is something that should be enjoyed by the people.  Even in the stone age people enjoyed pudding, only today we refer to their primitive pudding-like substance as "mud".  But I think the primitive people would have enjoyed modern pudding.  We have come a long way in our pudding making processes.  A million years ago people used to make primitive pudding. now we have whole pudding factories,  pumping out trillions of gallons of delectable delicious pudding goodness. The benefits of pudding are substantial, if one were to eat pudding (and pudding by-products) for the rest of their life, I don’t know what would happen but that person would have eaten a lot of pudding and I bet he/she would feel good knowing that his/her life has been used in the advancement of pudding technology. I bet, if you tried really hard and waited long enough, you could make lots of interesting things out of pudding, like pudding bracelets and pudding anklets.  Only you wouldn’t call them that you'd have to find a good name for it, like "pudding delectable products" or something like that, I don’t know what you'd call it but probably it would be good to name it something...only in another language!  Like if you were to take the pudding technology and adapt it to a global economy, I bet the stock of pudding and pudding by-products would go through the roof, even though there is no roof on pudding because the sky is the limit but that’s not the point.  The point is that we need more taxpayer money going towards the advancement of pudding technology.  Without pudding technology we wouldn’t have important scientific breakthroughs, like the wheel and the individual servings of pudding.  But seriously, have you had your pudding today?  All the greatest people in the world eat pudding.  So why don’t you eat pudding?  You could be like your favorite sports star, actor, or even mathematician, all if you eat one serving of delicious nutrious pudding.  The guy who invented Jell-O ate pudding, the man who invented the CD ate pudding, Einstein didn't eat pudding, but I’m sure it was because of the sheer incomprehensible utterly few choices of pudding flavors.  For, if Einstein were alive today, I’ll bet that he would double over in the amount of selection that we have in the pudding and pudding by-product field.  That is why, like I said before, we need more money for the advancement of the pudding industry, and in turn, our civilization as a whole.  But even if Einstein did not eat pudding, I’ll bet that many other great inventors of our time did.  Maybe John Goodman eats pudding or possibly Celine Dion, but we will never know how the pudding intake has affected their popularity.  Without proper funding for pudding and pudding by-product research, we may NEVER KNOW!  That would be a horrible, terrible world to live in.  So please, petition your congressman or woman and tell them to spend more money on pudding and pudding by-products.  It’s the American thing to do!  Speaking of the American thing to do, pudding was invented in America.  And in these times of patriotism and flag-waving, you should show your American spirit and eat pudding.  Because if you don’t eat pudding then you are missing out on tons of nutritious things.  Pudding contains so many healthy things it boggles the mind.  Look at me!  My mind is being boggled at all the nutritious things in pudding!  Where else are you going to get your daily recommended dose of such things as chocolate and vanilla? The answer to my rhetorical question? Nowhere but the fabulous product that is known as pudding, and it’s pudding by-products.  Have you ever sat back and wondered why you aren’t using your time for anything better than eating pudding?  If you have you are a worthless in-duh-vidual who doesn’t deserve to be reading this wonderful document that is “Eating Pudding”.  Wow this thing is really long, isn’t it?  The answer is yes because there is just so much to say about pudding.  Such as the fact that many evil communist pagans would enjoy nothing more than to take away our wonderful pudding and pudding by-products.  We must protect our valued pudding and its less valued, though not any worse in stature, by-products.  In Medieval times many were crusading against pudding’s greatness.  In fact, one of the most famous knights of that table there that was therefore round said, “Arbitrarily eating pudding like a plague o'er the land I seek the mighty pudding  I shall not stop until the pudding threat has been vanquished  yet, my work seems perpetual and I travel onward, in search of the next pudding, nay, my work is not done, until the pudding has been abolished in a  mighty ceremony of pure barbaric power! have the lands been engulfed in the spirits that is the power of the almighty righteous pudding? nay, for the soul of the people will rise, like they have many times. against their pudding rulers. and never shall my work be done, if there is one pudding left standing and if I have to go upon the quest of your honor's noble steed in route of the battle-hardened pudding, yet never shall I surrender for the evil that is ‘pudding’ shall not be fully understood until it is vanquished.  'tis upon this mighty note that I start my conquest of the pudding Machiavellian menace yet for all the bloodshed, it shall be done in a noble realm, therefore lending itself to the nobility that is His Highness and never on the lower courts of the land shall I never return may my ashes be strewn about the last standing pudding as he makes his way to the dusty realm that is the Nether-Region.”  Pretty strong words against something as wonderful as this delightful delicacy that is known across this great land as “pudding”.  We cannot let these communist pagans take over out supply of wonderful pudding.  Not in my backyard.  That is why we as Americans should band together and show our strength by protecting our pudding wealth.  We are the wealthiest pudding producing nation in the world, and we should be proud!  If we as Americans are not proud of our pudding richness what do we have to be proud of?  Independence?  Our cultural difference?  All of those things can be seen and are represented by our wonderful supply of wealth such as pudding.  I urge you to start yourself a militia and protect our robust supply of different pudding and their equally as important by-products.  Which poses a question, what exactly is a pudding by-product?  Other than happiness and pure joy, other pudding by-products could be concluded as being:  better hand to mouth coordination, stronger arms from lifting heavy spoons full of pudding, reaching your daily recommended dose of chocolate and vanilla, and so many more that your mind would be boggled as to the sheer greatness of the number and the quality those numbers would therefore represent.  If you are still not convinced that you should eat so much pudding that your mom will call and ask, “Why the heck are you eating so much pudding, I know that pudding is full of important things that you need in order to survive, but you must not eat so much pudding as to have me call and say, ‘Why the heck are you eating so much pudding, I know that pudding is full of important things that you need in order to survive, but you must not eat so much pudding as to have me call and say…”then you are one of the few who do not enjoy the sheer pudding-y goodness that is to be discovered on the first taste of the wonderful oriental delight that is known in this essay, and for all intents and purposes, as the wonderful love of life and the zest of the former that is therefore known as pudding.  If you do not agree with me on this issue that I therefore present upon to you, then you should be very ashamed of yourself and go to the realm of others who, by sheer delight of their nature, realize that their lives would be better used for the advancement and therefore betterment, if not the perfection, of pudding and its products therefore concluded to being associated to it and in a show of passion declare their love of pudding.  On a lighter note, I think that was the longest sentence I have ever written! Another record in the book dedicated to the love and therefore greatness that is therefore known across these great lands as pudding.  Many things have been done in the name of pudding.  Other than the incredible and unintelligibly remarkable essay that you have been reading for approximately the last 4 minutes and 32 seconds, great things have been done in the name of the great advancement of technology and suburban values as the great and wonderful product known as pudding.  Now if one were to calculate all the monkeys in the world, there would be a lot of monkeys.  But if, in comparison, you tallied up all the gallons of the delicious wonderful delight that is known in these parts as pudding, you would find that there is probably more pudding than monkeys, but only because of global warming and the stock market….oh oh oh, and the Internet. Darn the Internet. But, the Internet has advanced pudding, and all of pudding kind.  If you were to go to “pudding.com”, you would find that, it isn’t a website.  But if it were, they would sell great pudding and pudding by-products.  Maybe I should make a web-page dedicated to the advancement of pudding products! It could be “pudding.internet/ein/48^*/pudding.html” and everyone would love to read about how great pudding is, as you have been doing for the last five minutes…unless you read slow…READ FASTER.  Anyway. I bought some pudding the other day, because, that’s the kind of guy I am.  And instead of chocolate with vanilla swirls its…get ready…chocolate with a CHOCOLATE SWIRL!!!!! I mean, how lucky can you get?! It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever had!  You should go out and buy it! Mmmmm pudding.  I have spent a lot of time, recently, thinking about pudding.  Even when I’m not thinking about pudding, I’m thinking about pudding.  Like today.  I ate some pudding.  I don’t know how interesting that is to you, but after reading this essay for the last five minutes, maybe it did interest you.  When I tell people that I wrote a five page essay on pudding, no one believes me.  They are probably thinking “What could anyone say about pudding that would take five pages to say?” Well,  Mister Man (or Ms. Woman), you just read a five page essay on pudding. And the best part is….there is still more to go!! There is just so much to say about pudding.  Take, for example, the colour of pudding.  Most the time it is brown, black, white or some mix of those colours.  What if they made a bright pink pudding? Wouldn’t that be the greatest thing?  I would buy bright pink pudding.  But , then again, I would also write a six page essay on pudding.  But think about it!! The I-Mac came in different colours!  M&M’s come in different colours!!  Why not pudding?  You know what I was just thinking?  No? Well, I will tell you.  There should be a country named after pudding.  “PuddingVanya” or something of the like.  Hmm, how about “The United States of Pudding”?  Wouldn’t you be a proud citizen of the US of P? I would. I could run for president!  If I became president of the U.S.P. I would use this essay as my inaugural speech!  It may sound something like this: “My fellow Puddarians! I like pudding, it makes me feel happy. If I ever feel down, I just grab a pudd…”. Something like that! Would you vote for me as president of the U.S.P? Of course you would!!  I thank you ahead of time for your vote.  A vote for me, is a vote for progress!! Vote for me!!  If you don’t, I’ll be forced to strap you into a chair and  make you read this essay. Wouldn’t that be torture? No it wouldn’t!! Because this is an awesome essay that makes you want to cry. But the kind of crying when a parent’s child comes home from Bosnia.  You know, the good kind of crying.  “Welcome back from Bosnia” kind of crying.  The kind of crying that you are doing right now.  SUCK IT UP, there’s still more essay-ness to go.  It’s too bad that pudding isn’t alive, cause I bet it would be my best friend.  I would go to the zoo with my pudding, and the circus and the mall.  O, we would be best of friends.  Until he had to go to Bosnia, that is.  I don’t know what he’d be doing in Bosnia, but I’m sure he’d go…for the culture, I guess.  I already take my   pudding to the zoo and the circus and the mall, but people look at me weird.  I don’t know why, though.  Don’t the know the joys of pudding and pudding by-products? I don’t think they do.  You know what would be a good idea?  I sure don’t.  Wait!  Yes I do.  Jell-O (the company famous for its excellent pudding making skills) should put my essay on the product labels, cause no one reads them.  And if they do, then they’d really want some pudding.  Don’t you want some pudding right now?  I know you do.  Oh!  I know!  I have a great idea!  They should make a website called pudding.com .  And, they would put my essay on pudding.com and make it so that you also buy pudding online!  The pudding industry would make a fortune!!  People (such as yourself) would be so compelled by my unfaltering logic and dynamic writing presence that they would need pudding as quickly as possible.  So, what would they do?  They would buy pudding online.  Buah…Buah Ha Ha Ha Ha.  Maybe I could use pudding.com to take over the world, somehow.  It’s worth a shot, I guess.  I could make it the official website of PuddingVanya (which I would be president of).  Every once and a while, I think I can’t write anymore about the pudding-y goodness that is pudding and its associated by-products.  It’s at these times that I write sentences such as the one you are about to read.  Why cannot I write anymore about the pudding-y goodness that is pudding and its associated by-products; it seems so easy, nay, so simple yet so hard as to be something that one can never accomplish for fear of the gods coming from the heavens above and making the limitations known to the mortals.  See?  That’s the kind of stuff I’m  talking about.  You may think that I’m weird, since pudding makes me happy.  Some say “too happy”.  Well, have you ever been too happy?  Have you ever been so happy it made you sad?  Me neither. and that’s why I like being happy.  You cant be too happy.  What could possibly happen if you be too happy?  Other than unwanted babies.  After you make the baby, you would probably be sad...but, maybe you could have a lot of fatherly moments with the baby, and be happy again.  See?  Can’t be too happy.  That’s how it is with pudding.  You can eat too much pudding and get sick.  This one time I remember getting so sick that I ran to the carnival and was on the news saying, “AHHHHHHHHHHHH MY STOMACH IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE RELEASING ITS CONTENTS OVER THE DISGUSTED MASSES OF ONLOOKERS JUST WANTING TO GET ONTO THE CARNIVAL RIDE BUT THERES A HUGE LINE, I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE LETS KEEP THE LINE MOVING, YOU KNEW YOU WERE TOO SHORT TO RIDE ANYWAY, WHY DID YOU EVEN GET IN LINE? I DONT KNOW EITHER, SO JUST GET OUT OF THE WAY, IM SERIOUS.”  It was very embarrassing.  So, I decided to limit my pudding intake levels to a sufficient and normal human level.  But, that didn’t last very long.  So, now I eat pudding all the time, to the point where I yell “AHHHHHHHHHHHH MY STOMACH IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE RELEASING ITS CONTENTS OVER THE DISGUSTED MASSES OF ONLOOKERS JUST WANTING TO GET ONTO THE CARNIVAL RIDE BUT THERES A HUGE LINE, I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE LETS KEEP THE LINE MOVING, YOU KNEW YOU WERE TOO SHORT TO RIDE ANYWAY, WHY DID YOU EVEN GET IN LINE? I DONT KNOW EITHER, SO JUST GET OUT OF THE WAY, IM SERIOUS.”  That’s why they kicked me out of the carnival.  Oh, and the mall.  And the movies.  And the bookstore.  Oh well, as long as they don’t kick me out of the pudding section of the grocery store, then I’ll be fine.  One day they were laughing at me because I bought all their pudding.  Then and there, I vowed to get revenge!!  Ok, I didn’t really, but when I ate my pudding, I was really angry.  But then some person instant messaged me and said  they liked my essay!  I was really happy.  I cant believe people actually read this.  I mean, I could say anything right now, and there’s a good chance no one would ever read it.  I could start talking about chickens, and how tasty they are.  Like in The Matrix, when that guy says that chicken tastes like everything cause the computers are lazy.  I like that movie, cause its confusing.  As you can tell, I like confusing things.  But, anyway, I have a duty to pudding and pudding kind to continue to talk about them, because no one has ever said that pudding tastes like chicken.  Unless someone made some sort of chicken flavored pudding!!! Wouldn’t that be amazingly awesome?  I don’t think so either.  I mean, even I have my limits.  Have you ever sat back and wondered why the moon is there?  Or how the stars formed?  Or just idly thought on a warm summer’s eve about the meaning of life, or how we came to be?  Why in the world weren’t you eating pudding instead?!  You may never know the meaning of the universe, or any of that nonsense, but you will always know that you can eat deliciously delectable pudding products anytime.  The fact that you can eat them anytime is part of the reason I like pudding and pudding-by products.  I mean, you can only have so much candy before your teeth rot out, and you can only have so much ham before you catch trichinosis, but there are no pudding related diseases!  Pudding may not be the main cause of disease, but there are Puddingly Transmitted Diseases (or PTDs) caused by the wanton sharing of pudding, and pudding by products.  Your spoon is a delicate and personal thing, it is not an object to be shared.  Certain PTDs thrive in Highly Spooned Environments (or HSEs).  There have been many reported cases of Colds, Flu’s, and Malaysian Pig Leprosy (or MPL).  So, if you don’t want to catch PTDs keep your HSEs clear of MPL.  And, if you must share your pudding, then you must wear a condom.  Not to nag, or anything.  Anyway, what is the minimum number of pages for a book?  Cause, I think I could write one at this pace.  I hope no one notices the slippage of quality in my essay writing since I first scribed the Original Pudding Essay™.  I’ve always worked under the motto that there aren’t enough words in the English language to describe pudding.  Which, I still hang onto dearly.  Which is why I’m going to have to use some words in other languages.  Aprecio el pudín, me hace me siento feliz. Si yo me siento jamás hacia abajo, acabo de asir un pudín, hay ah tan-muchos sabores del pudín para escoger de, pero aprecio el pudín de chocolate el mejor, quizá porque se parece a qué pudín se supone parecerse a. ..pudding-ish. A veces yo aprecio comer que una clase del pudín que es chocolate pero tiene ese remolino pequeño de vainilla en el centro, así que cuando usted lo come usted’re pensador "ah aprecio el pudín de chocolate y esto es el pudín de chocolate y su realmente bueno" pero entonces usted come parte del vainilla y usted piensa "wow, eso era una artimaña realmente chistosa que ellos estiraron en mí, porque pensaronComía el pudín normal, pero hay alguna vainilla en lo. Cuándo yo le lo dije a mi maestro, ella rió, recostó y las memorias amargas recordadas de alguna guerra, pero de yo no escuchar T porque pensaban el pudín que cuán bueno es.  Now, I’m not a genius.  Well, yes I am.  I am so unbelievably smart, that when I look into the mirror, my eyes hurt from all the smartness that I see, because I am looking into my own brain.  And my own brain is something so incredibly amazing, you have to look at it through some sort of filter of awesomivity because otherwise, you will die.  Now, there is only one reason I can possibly think of for the superior awesomeness and general…awesomeness.  It is because of my increased pudding intake comparative to my body mass.  I am 33% pudding and 99% awesome.  As you can see, I add up to well over 100%, which is the regular quota for human beings.  This must be the reason for all of my extra awesomivity.  Now, I do not mean to brag, but…yes I do.  I am bragging.  But, that is not the point.  The point is that, in my ever vigilant search to find pudding-y goodness in all of my basic social and sociopolitical actions, I have now found a new product that might just be the pinnacle of Pudding Technology and Resources (PtaR).  This product is about yea big, and filled with pudding.  It is quite literally, a elongated pouch o’ pudding.  This idea is quite simply genius, but I do not think it takes the idea far enough.  Now, what I am thinking about is some sort of Advanced Pudding Dispensing Device for External Use (APDDfEU).  Such as a hat.  A hat with two straws extending towards my Mouth Region.  Pudding will be stored at the top of the hat, and will be dispensed towards my Mouth Region, where I will ingest it.  However, the only limitation to this technology is the sheer weight of the volume of pudding I intend to consume.  If every ounce of pudding weighs 13.79 Newtons, and my body weight is 145 pounds, you can clearly see that I really like pudding.  This is why I believe that some sort of Back Anchored Pudding Storage/Dispension Device (BAPS/PD) will look more like what the kids call a “Back Pack”.  I believe that this BAPS/PD has full market potential, as I would buy eight of such devices.  One for every day of the week.  And one for Easter.  Because, Easter, as you may or may not know, is actually a celebration of pudding.  Yes!  I will now expose the true meaning of Easter (and Valentines Day, which is the same holiday only in Spanish).  Millions of Bajillions of years ago (to use the scientific terms) an Easter Bunny was Born.  His name was Rick.  But this is inconsequential.  He was having trouble getting a job, and he decided to find work at Hallmark Incorporated Limited Company.  They needed a new holiday, as the newest holiday they introduced, Painful Blister Pop Day (“You make me feel as if I have recently Popped a Blister.”), was a flop.  The Easter Bunny, whose real name was James, decided that Easter should be a new holiday.  The End.  Oh…yeah…and James really liked pudding, or something.  So, I was talking to my friend Kelsey about the startling state of the union of products and/or delicious by-products in the country that shall hereby be referred to as “The U.S.”.  It is very disturbing, the state of pudding and pudding by-products in this country, when compared to that of Togo.  Togo, as you well know, is known as the Pudding Capitol of the World.  It is the home of Pudding Country USA, a theme park dedicated to pudding and its fantastic by-products.  The official language is French.  But, sadly, Togo is not a wealthy nation, and Pudding Country USA consists of a 6-count package of pudding and a rocking chair.  Therefore, what I am prescribing for this horrendous lack of pudding-y goodness that is choking the world of any hope and happiness thereof, is a national holiday. No!  An international holiday!  I declare that International Pudding Awareness Day shall be a holiday, nay, an Amazing Festival of pudding and pudding by-products.  There will be fireworks and cakes and parades!!  Oh, yes! Oh yes, there will be parades!  We’ll get one of those Chinese dragons that run down the street, only it will be chasing a man in a pudding suit!  See?!  Even Chinese Zodiac symbols need the pudding-y goodness that is attributed to pudding and its amazing, yet shockingly under-represented, by-products.  So, boys and girls! Mark your calendars, because International Pudding Awareness Day is coming to your town!  See? Pudding has its own holiday.  What other food can say that?  Well, technically no food can actually say that.  At least, not any of the food I am willing to eat.  In fact, as soon as an article of food I am about consume asks for a holiday, I think I would be inclined to grant it any holiday it wanted.  You might think I’m crazy!  But, think about it.  If your hamburger said to you “make a national holiday in my honor” would not you do as this magical talking hamburger said?  It might have magical powers of some sort, and you don’t mess with things that are suspected of having magical powers of some sort.  Like this Magic Bread I bought the other day.  But, I don’t think it was really all that magical.  In fact, I think it was only moldy.  But, that doesn’t explain the weird glowing.  And the violent dancing fits.  I’m glad pudding never has violent dancing fits.  I’d rather have my pudding have soft, controllable fits of dancing, so that I could dance with it.  Oh, how magical such a night would be!  Romantic music playing the background, my pudding-y date dressed to the nines, and my head on pudding’s shoulder as we danced just one final dance.  Oh!  Oh how romantic!  But, that would never happen, because pudding is so attractive that some buff, mean football player guys would be all up ons pudding and I’d have to say “Hey! Step back from my date!” and then they’d beat me up, because that is what they do, mean buff football players.  Then they would steal my date and dance with pudding into the wee hours of the night, leaving me heart-broken and crying on the steps outside of the school, my fingers numb from the persistent biting winds.  Actually, I’d rather not have pudding be able to dance at all.  I cannot dance, either.  Sometimes I can be quite “jiggy” with “it”, but never so much as to be mistaken for having the skill of “dancing”.  I want some Spanish pudding.  No! Better yet, some Japanese pudding!  I wonder what pudding is in Japanese.  Probably something like “NIPPONLISCIOUS 100% TASTY!”, or something like that.  You know what bothers me?  Racism.  Racism is pointless and wrong.  Now, you might be wondering, “Zach, I know you are amazing and wonderful and wonderfully amazing, but how can you relate the pudding-y goodness that is pudding (and its wonderful by-products) to racism?”  I say, “Easily.”  I believe people are like pudding.  Yes, there are some kinds you’d rather not be around.  Like English pudding, with little chunks of fish and celery.  Honestly, I don’t know if such a pudding exists, but if it did, you’d find it in England.  Anyway, people are like pudding.  Yes, there are different varieties, and yes, some look different from others.  But does this make them any less delicious?  I have to say, in terms of sheer deliciousness, any kind of pudding greatly exceeds any other form of food.  I could not imagine a world where banana pudding could not share the same opportunities of consumption as chocolate or vanilla.  And also the kind with the little swirl of vanilla in the center.  Those are amazing, but it just proves my point further.  To make a truly delicious Pudding Experience, it is sometimes necessary to mix pudding varieties in a stunning tapestry of deliciousness.  Pudding can teach you valuable lessons about life.  And that is why I like pudding and pudding by-products.