This is the sort of story that you wish you knew about when you were younger so that life through the eighties and the bulk of the nineties could have been that much more enjoyable. It's such a pity that this script wasn't published earlier – but you should be thankful that it is here at all. It took an enormous team of many thousands of highly qualified theologians, philosophers and Hollywood script writers eighteen long and painful years at the collar and whip to create the final product that you see below. So when you do read over the script, think deeply about the hard work poured into deducing the plot, themes, characterisation and dialogue of the script. And don't forget that you were lucky you weren't chained and hoarded off to write it up like many other unsuspecting people of the earth were.Ar-harr-haaa!!!
Good, you agree. And don't forget what you
agreed to do. Information to remind you is at the bottom of the scarey
tale.
THE SCENE:
Grover is at the restaurant serving a customer who has for an unknown reason entered, sat down and is wishing to order his meal of lunch.Grover: Welcome, sir, to this food restaurant. May I please take your order?
Grover: Here you go sir. Your complete
meal.
Customer: I didn't order that!
Grover: Yes you did. I am only here
to please.
Customer: No I didn't.
Grover: Oh yes you did! You must remember
that I have a perfectly trained mind in
remembering orders. And you don't... please don't say that you have forgotten your
order already?
Customer: I know that I didn't order what you've given me. What
did you write down?
Grover: What did I write down...?
Where's my notebook?
Customer: You didn't write anything down.
Grover: I didn't? How stupid of me.
Customer: You said you would remember...
Grover: Yes! Yes I did. And I do. Now
what did you order again?
Customer: I ordered a cheeseburger...
Grover: Oh yes! I remember what I remembered:
"Big cheese round, on a bun; fries and
pickle, yum yum yum!" Sir, that looks like what you ordered if ever
I saw it. It is right
in front of you. See – there's a fry and over there is a...
Customer: But that's not what I ordered! Are you sure you have
the right customer?
Grover: Hmm... [peering intently
at customer] "Beady eyes and big blue head, he's the one
who's to be fed." Yes. You are unmistakably the person who ordered that
order.
Customer: But waiter. I didn't order what you've given me. This
isn't a cheeseburger with fries and
a pickle.
Grover: It isn't? Hmmm...what did you
order?
Customer: [Argh!] A cheeseburger with fries and a pickle!
Grover: Well, why did you order this
then? Why did you deliberately try to waste my precious
time? I am a very busy waiter you know. Your dilly-dallying does my reputation
or the
appetites of the other hungry customers no good.
Customer: What other customers?... Well then could I please
have my cheeseburger with fries and
a
pickle?
Grover: What? You're ordering a second
order along with that? You must be very hungry...
Customer: No! I'm just ordering what I ordered in the first
place.
Grover: Reorder? I've just brought it
to you!
Customer: Could I order a cheeseburger with fries and a pickle?
Grover: Certainly sir. It would be my
utmost pleasure.
Grover: Sir, I just remembered. This
was your order. Now let me attend to another hungry
client.
Customer: Wait! What about my order?
Grover: Oh! You ordered me to replace
your order with the same order as you ordered in your
first order...that is the same as I gave you to begin with.
Customer: Excuse me Mr Waiter, sir, I want a cheeseburger with
fries and a pickle... please?
Grover: A cheeseburger with fries and
a pickle.
Customer: A cheeseburger with fries and a pickle.
Grover: A cheeseburger with fries and
a pickle. That reminds me of another order I made not
long ago...-Ahem!- My waiter's memory is about to think... "Big cheese round,
on a bun; fries
and pickle, yum yum yum!"
Customer: [Sigh] Could you go get my order?
Grover: Certainly, sir. You are most
welcome. I will go rectify your order.
Grover: No I won't, sir, I will not get
your order.
Customer: [Groan] What's wrong now? Why not?
Grover: Because I do not have to serve
customers any more. It is my lunchtime.
Customer: What about me? And my meal?
Grover: Here's your order sir, your
"Big cheese round, on a bun; fries and pickle, yum yum
yum!";
see, I still remember what you ordered, even after so long a time. Now
eat and
enjoy your
meal.
Customer: But you haven't fixed my order.
Grover: Sir your meal is not my responsibility
off-duty. Now let me leave... Gee I'm hungry. I
think for my lunch today
I will have a delicious meal of a cheeseburger with fries
-oh!- and a pickle
on top...yum yum yum! –yum man!!!
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