All right, I suppose I might as well get this over with.

I'm not real big on this whole "Dear (place deity of choice here) we're all gonna die because the bank and the government are all gonna go offline" hysteria. The reason for that is simple. I know better.

See, I recently got my licence to drive back (stay off the sidewalks) after two years of revocation. Woohoo. the point of mentioning this is that it expires in two- thousand-four. The way I figure it, if the DMV of all organisations is prepared for the problem, then there can't be much to worry about.

Now ask yourself when was the last time you saw a computer with a 2/2/2 date display. If you still use one, you're not on the net so that hardly matters. 11/17/99 doesn't exist. We've secretly replaced these Folger's Crystals with 11/17/1999. Let's see who notices.

What I'm actually concerned about is people. Not their overall safety mind you, but their insatiable stoopidity. I'm concerned that I'll be with my fiance minding my own buisiness when some drek-headed crack fiend decides he wants my stereo and playstation.

Add to that the fact that I'm supposed to be moving into a house in the 'burbs but my grandparents are taking the search slowly, and our contracted realtor is a twit. "Here's a nice little cottage in five points with no heat."

"No thanks, I'll just die."

No, I'm gonna end up stuck here in my appartment. No basement to hide in. No police who might do their job. My appartment is in hell.

By hell I mean the area of town where every latino with five bucks and an ugly truck runs 'round shooting his own on a Mexican holiday.

I'm not racist, just a little confused about how celebrating your home-lands freedom involves killing everyone you know who might be from there.

Of course, this is also the same town that the sports fans riot wether or not the Broncos happen to win another "Lookit me I'm the king of the world" championship or whatever.

And these idiots complain when the cops gas them. Oh wah.

Oh and by the way, I don't give a rat's ass if they won Stanley's cup or not, I hate sports. But that doesn't mean you should break my windsheild or firebomb the neighbour's cat.

One more thing, where have all the sense makers gone? Remember when public opinion wasn't up to the multi-galaxial conglomerates?

The year two-thousand is upon us, and the automobile still has an internal combustion engine. I know why we don't have those flying cars we were promised. Because noone can drive, I'd be damned if I'd let you attempt to fly.

So, in closing let me just reiterate: I hate you all, and your parents to.

That's just my opinion, I haven't got time to explain that to you.

~Swyndle

Uploaded 17th November 1999