Whatever happened to cops just doing their job and not bothering to be so fucking retarded?

I've really had it with this whole, "I've got this here badge so it must be my job to piss everybody off." bit that has recently become so fashionable among the law enforcement community.

And now I'll tell you why.

So, there I was, with some of my friends at a local hang-out of their's when we decided to go out to a coffee shoppe. Which would be fine but...

As I'm driving my car over to the Perkin's we decided to go to, an Aurora police woman, specifically officer Crawford, badge number 20767, decided to pull me over for running a stop sign.

That would've actually been ok with me, had: A. I actually run the affore mentioned red octagon. or B. She and her cruiser been within a block of me at the time of the supposed infraction.

See, I did stop, and anyone who's ever ridden with me can attest to the fact that, after I stop, when I go, I tend to punch it pretty hard. That in mind you should also take into account the fact that my car gets up to about forty miles per hour in about a ten foot span.

Now then, as for her location, in proximity to me, the intersection I turned at was about fifteen to twenty feet away from another sidestreet that goes in the opposite direction. After I had completed my turn and gotten down the street about seventy-five feet or more, I noticed headlights in my mirror halfway down the other street. A distance the size of a football field between us.

The next thing I know, the red and blues are flashing in my trunk.

Then, and this is where I beat the ticket, she strolls up to my window and says, "Are you drunk, stoned, or just stupid?"

Thanks for playing, any and all rights to prosecute me for anything just went void.

"Excuse me?"

"Stop signs don't equate to you?"

"Pardon? What stop sign?"

"Oh, I see, which stop sign did I catch you running is it?"

"Well, I happen to know I stopped at the last one."

"No, I saw you run it, you took that intersection at thirty miles an hour at least."

She then took my licence and registration back to her car and wrote up a ticket for it.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to work out how she'd ahve seen it, even if I had run it. You know, this kind of thing is why I hate cops. That, and their endless annoyance of anyone who isn't my mom.

I mean really, do they actually think that they have any power anymore? The only power they actually have anymore is the no-knock warrant, but since some Denver cops recently raided a house and killed the guy living there on a no-knock, only to learn the next day that the warrant was issued for the address next door, they're about to lose that as well.

Which is fine, I've got nothing to hide in my house, but if anybody busts in and thinks that I'm going to be found guilty for killing them once inside, they've got some serious therapy ahead of them. I don't know you're the police, it's not like you send out anouncements or anything. Break in, die. Fairly simple equation I think.

Of course, that's just my philosophy, and I can back it up in court.

~Swyndle

Uploaded 4th March 2000