Season 2

Skit's of the week.

Mr Simons

Roz: Hey sweetheart, you got a light?

Gatesy: No

Roz: Straight's eighty, obviously anything else, price goes up. So how much you got tiger?

Gatesy: I got a hundred. So lets go

Cal: Mr Simons, our permission slip says we're going to the museum.

Roz: I'm not going to the museum.

Songie: Stop Repeating Me

Episode 2

Skit's of the week.

Lunch

Yon: Lunch! Cal, here's your salad roll

Cal: cheers

Yon: and Scod, they didn't have any ficacias so I didn't know what to get you, so I got you this chemistry set.

Scod: *bemused look*

Mr Simons

Gatesy: How much for the bag?

Scott: usual deal, a thousand, it's good stuff this

Gatesy: alright I'll take it

Cal: Mr Simons our permission slip says we're going to Science Works

Episode 3

Skit's of the week.

Gangsters

Scott: What are you boys doing here?

Tom: we've come to pick up our share of the $128 000

Scott: let me just say (pulls out gun) that ain't gonna happen

Fleety: hey woah, we all did our part, we did the bank job together why not split 128 000 three ways?

Scott: it's not as easy as that

Tom: why not?

Scott: long division was never one of my stong points

Fleety: what?

Scott: it's just too hard for me, look it's not I've not been trying. I've been at it all day, look here's all my workings out and I just..just couldn't get it

Tom: why don't you use a calculator?

Scott: then I'd just be cheating myself

Fleety: I can't believer this, I'm not gonna get killed cause some guy's not good at maths

Scott: hey, I never said I was no good at maths, I just said that long division was a weak area. I was quite good at algebra.

Tom: Well why don't you turn the equasion into an algebraic problem?

Fleety: yeah

Scott: what do you mean?

Tom: if 3a=128 what is the value of a?

Scott tries to calculate

Fleety: look man this is ridiculous, I'll do it it's simple. It's 3 into 128 000, its ah 42

Scott: 42 exactly?

Fleety: no not 42 exactly, 42.666 recurring

Scott: ah see, recurring it's a bit ugly

Fleety: look man I don't care I just want my 42 000, you can keep the recurring. i want my money where is it?

Scott: alright, hold your horses, don't worry the money's been burried somewhere for safe keeping

Fleety: yeah where?

Scott: yeah geography again, not one of my strong areas

Tattoo Parlor

Gatesy: you ah, reached a decision?

Scod: yep, I want that one

Gatesy: woh woh woh woh, sure you wanna go that way, maybe something smaller

Scod: nuh, I want the dragon

Gatesy: it's pretty painful

Scod: well I've had one before

Gatesy: where do you want it?

Scod: on my sholder blade

Gatesy: ON BONE ON BONE! Nah nah nah your mad

Scod: are you sure you wanna do this?

Gatesy: look I'll just get the manager, Franky

Yon: yep, what's up?

Gatesy: dragon-sholder blade

Yon: *screams*

Gatesy: see

Episode 4

Skit's of the week.

Substitute

Tom: ok everyone Mr Knowles is going to be away for a few days so I'm going to take over whilst he's gone. My name's Mr Harrison, just so you don't forget I'll jot that down on the blackboard for you.

Class: *gasp*

Michael: if your gonna use it, we don't call them blackboards anymore that's racist. The politically correct term is African-American board.

Tom: ok, well I might just use whe whiteboard

Class: *gasp*

Cal: we now refer to them as caucasion boards; whiteboard is offensive

Tom: oh well I can't use it anyway, all I have is yellow chalk

Class: *gasp*

Slippers

Pete: aww slippers, these slippers are cool

Gatesy: no you want slippers that don't slip, these slippers will slip

Pete: what about these slippers?

Gatesy: oh they're cool, they're like my slippers

Pete: these slippers aren't like your slippers

Gatesy: these slippers come with free stickers

Pete: ooohh

Cal: can I help you at all?

Gatesy: um no we're sorted

Pete: just looking

Gatesy: we've found what we were looking for

Cal: oh ok, well you can take your purchases upto the front counter

Gatesy: cheers

Pete: stickers and slippers

Gatesy: stickers!!

Episode 5

Skit's of the week.

The Latte Files

Fiona: hi there

Roz: hi

Fiona: do you guys wanna order

Yon: I'll have a latte please

Scod: I'll have a latte as well thanks

Gatesy: make that three

Roz: and a short black for me please

Fiona: ah short black?

Roz: yes, that ok?

Fiona: well I don't know, you see I'm not sure that I can guarentee that you'd get exactly that much coffee

Roz: (laughs) is she serious?

Yon: well it was a bit of a wank Donna

Scod: you did take a bit of a patronising tone with it

Gatesy: why couldn't you just order a latte like a normal person

Roz: your seriously taking whe waitress' side over mine?

Fiona: hello, the waitress is right here

Yon: she's right there Donna

Scod: your talking like she isn't even here

Gatesy: I've never seen you like this Donna

Fiona: me neither

Roz: you don't even know me

Gatesy: there's no need to shout

Fiona: look, why don't I just pop off and make those three lattes and you Donna, you can just sit there and have a bit of a think about the way you've behaved.

Yon: we can never come here again

Scod: what is wrong with you?

Roz: no

Gatesy: I want a divorse

Yon: hi remember us? We're the ones with the friend who ah...

Fiona: oh yeah

Scod: we just hope that you don't mind, we've come back in that's all

Fiona: you guys are always welcome, anyway it wasn't your fault

Gatesy: no it wasn't, it was Donna's

Cal: what happened?

Yon: doesn't matter

Scod: look, lets just order

Gatesy: can I have a latte please?

Fiona: yep

Yon: and another two over here please

Fiona: sure

Gatesy: and how about you sweetie

Cal: can I get a long black..

Episode 6

Skit's of the week.

Bubblewrap Man - Volume one

Gatesy: ok just calm down, you don't need to do this.

Scott: I just can't take it anymore, I can't make it go away

Gatesy: make what go away?

Scott: the stress, everyone's at me all the time. I just want it to stop.

BWM: quickly, pop the bubbles on my cape

Scott: what?

BWM: pop the bubbles on my cape

pop pop pop

Scott: who was that man covered in bubblewrap?

Episode 7

Skit's of the week.

The Dungeons And Dragons Saga

Scod: alright guys, first we have to make up what character your gonna be

Gatesy: huh?

Scod: in the game, it's Dungeons anmd Dragons, you have to pretend to be a character

Gatesy: can I be Gandalf?

Scod: nuh, that's from Lord Of The Rings

Gatesy: can I be Aragorn?

Scod: you can't just be a character from some other thing. You've gotta you know make up your own thing.

Yon: can I be Gollum?

Scod: yeah alright

Gatesy: hang on, how come he gets to be Gollum?

(Scod points at Yon)

Gatesy: fair enough

Yon: Yonny

Scod: no, the name of your character in the game it's on your paper

Yon: equipment

Scod: *points* here

Yon: Fanfathor

Scod: that makes more sense doesn't it

Gatesy: Fanfathor makes more sense than equipment?

Scod: well at least it's a name

Gatesy: Scod, Fanfathor is not a name

Yon: why can't I be called Kevin?

Scod: well it's not very you know mighty

Gatesy: what about Kelvin?

Yon: Scod?

Scod: alright Kelvin, you approach the castle of the evil sourcerer

Yon: sourcerer?

Gatesy: yeah he's like a fruiterer but he sells sauce

Scod: are you gonna take this seriously?

Gatesy: Scod, how am I supposed to take Fanfathor seriously?

Yon: actually I've changed my mind, I think I want to be called equipment

Yon: fair, not great just fair?

Scod: well no, beautiful maiden. You meet the beautiful maiden, what do you do?

Gatesy: ah well, we say that we've battled through the castle and we're here to rescue her

Scod (in fair maiden voice): ohg thankyou handsome hero, you are truly my champion

Gatesy: nuh, stop there, thats enough for me, I'm outta here, that's too weird

Scod: hang on

Gatesy: no I'm gonna go kick a footy

Scod: you've never kicked a footy in your life

Gatesy: this is an emergency

Yon: so fair maiden, come here often?

Scod: Gatesy wait up, kick it to me

Bubblewrap Man - Volume two

Scod: we shouldn't, my wife's a good woman

Fiona: I know, and my husband will never forgive me

Scod: and yet..

BWM: quickly, pop the bubbles on my cpe

pop pop pop

Scod: he's gone, oh well see ya later

Fiona: yeah see you at work...hey...who was that man covered in bubblewrap?

Episode 8

Skit's of the week.

Bubblewrap Man - Volume three

Damian: what's your problem mate?

Michael: nothing

Damian: what's your problem?

Michael: I don't have a problem

Damian: what do you want fancy pants?

BWM: quickly, pop the bubbles on my cape

Damian: get out of the way or I'll have you too.

BWM: pop the bubbles on my cape

Damian: piss off (throws BWM to the floor)

pop pop pop