~if you play any kind of guitar and you don't know who Bob Bogle, Don Wilson, or Jerry McGee are then you are SUCH a poser. Every guitarist should know who they are.
~pop music and all its listeners are part of a cult.
~country music should be banned.
~smoking is nasty, if you do it around me, then you can live without me.
~there's a difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now.
~there's a difference between loving yourself and being conceited.
~if you do something bad and the counselor says it wasn't, then why are you being punished?
~karaoke needs to die.
~if you have time to write a long complicated away message, then you didn't really go newhere and you're just standing around seeing how many people "need" you.
~if the above comment applied to you then you're a complete and total jackass.
~Riddle~a plane is flying 3000 miles over East Germany, the plane loses control and crashes into a canyon between East Germany and No Man's land. where do you bury the survivors? No Man's Land? Or East Germany?
Answer: if you said, you don't bury the SURVIVORS then you were RIGHT!! why bury the survivors!
~if you got the above question wrong, you need to go read a book becuz ur too stupid to talk to anyone.
~***if guys tell you that they have a big dick, then their ego is about as big as they want their dick to be.
~if you think of yourself as a playboy you need to know how to use your tongue and your hands, not your dick.
~GUYS DO HAVE A FORM OF PMS!!!! IT'S CALLED PISSED OFF MALE SYNDROME!!! br>
LADIES!!~!~!
Mallory~DUDE! BAND CAMP WAS FN AWESOME! haha, MOSELTAFF! MB and BB the ripper! haha good times! lol "it was like, when he got close it just pooed out and flopped over..." rofl wheel chair riding! stealth crutch! haha stealing blue cups! MMMMMMM! grr, do i turn you on? too many inside jokes! we MUST room together next year! kissing frogs! Sonic! hehe we went on a double date! "i'm feeling so lesbian right now" lol good times! "*Mallory takes off sock* AHHHHH!!!" Erin says,"WHAT'S WRONG!?!" Mallory says, "MY FOOT SMELLS!" rofl i love ya more than my luggage girly! *hug*
Lauren~Hey chick!lol MEAN BASTARD! oh god...REDNECKS!!!!! AHHHH! madonna...DIE! Lauren will be the FIRST to sign my yearbook! lol lauren's a SPAZ! lol lylas chick!
Sarah~going to miss you! lylas chick!
Lynz~ lol you can touch MY butt lynz! hehe i just randomly walk on your bus to say hello. you no i love ya lynz! you're the only girl that i let touch my butt! hehe lylasnawhoalm! LYL&L&L&L!
Sarah S~the mall was so awesome! *throws penny on the ground* I'M A MALICIOUS LITTERER!!! *runs away* that mall cop only had like 9 teeth..."omg there's the mall cop!" *Erin runs into the jewelry store* *cop gives Erin a funny look* *everybody laughs* lol we gotta do that again! the Beatles are my heros! lylas chick
Katie-you're stalking your stalker?! how the crap does THAT work?! lol lylas chick
alex~blanket whores!!! AHH!
MEN!!~!~!
jason d~AWARD FOR THE BEST FREAKING RELATIONSHIP EVER! GOES TO....Erin and Jason! WOOT! lol you are the best Jason! lunch is the BEST time of day! and you just make it AWESOME! lol i think that redneck's homophobic...hmmm! lol FRONTIER PSYCHIATRIST! remember Jason...NO NEED TO PANIS!! lol i don't know WHAT i'd do without you! you're the BEST guy friend i've EVER had and i can always talk to you! i think i could just go on and on about you! SO many inside jokes! you FINALLY opened me up to a wider world of movie watching! MATRIX! CLOCKWORK ORANGE! ALL the Austin Powers movies! lol i think that calls for a blowjob! lol dang Jason, i think you take the prize for longest shout out, EVER! hehe now that you've seen Batman and Ghost Ship you are the movie KING! and i'm your queen hehe! lol PARTY JASON! hehe love you babe!!!!!!! you're the BEST!!!!!!!!
Thomas J~hey babe! i love that we can always have a good time! lol lamar's going to be getting it when i go to your homecoming! he's first on MY list! *evil cackle* you're the BEST babe! *tickles* *kiss*
Mark~yes everybody knows you fake it.
Jay~...no.
Nicholas~you're my bitch, haha band camp was awesome! pool was fun too hehe you're tenorific!
Matt Cash~my buddy!! lol i heart you!
adam l~i won the wrestling match! biting is dirty fighting! none of that! and there ARE time outs in wrestling! lol luv ya lots!
danny k~you know i love you! you're awesome!lyl!
justin~ur a jackass...
daniel f~you're a good man!
patrick~if u ever call me a hoe again i'm going to wish you were a woman!!!!!!!
Tim~i may not be able to count but AT LEAST i know my LEFT from my RIGHT!
andrew~sorry for hittin u with tha pool stick i didnt mean to! lol but u got ur revenge! lol i cant stop hop-scotching that stupid ball! but hey atleast i got one in!lyl
sean~thanx 4 teachin me how to play racketball. lol no more of that hittin me with tha racket now shame shame shame... lol. i had a great time with u at band camp! pose with mark for tha camera!lyl
joel~thanx again for takin me to tha sidelines cuz u take care of ur saxes! lol we have no idea where we're goin in tha show i think im just gonna follow u! lol yawning is contagious. *ouch* lol.lyl
hunter~thank you for trying to be nice! i love ur hugs! n ur such a sweet guy! lyl!
michael~i called u once over the summer! lol i told u i wud! i hope we have classes together this year!lyl
alex~i need that string its ur new leash! lol it was so much fun with u at band camp! those morning practices really get to me man! lol lyl
LADIES PICTURES!
MEN'S PICTURES
JOKES!!!
Questions Not To Ask In Foreign Lands
By
Gerhard Reinke
IRELAND
“Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?”
FRANCE
“Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?”
ITALY
“Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s! ”
POLAND
“Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?”
GERMANY
“Is this bratwurst kosher?”
TURKEY
“Where’s the hash at? It’s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?”
KOREA
“Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?”
CHINA
“This wall isn’t so great.”
ENGLAND
“Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?”
SWEDEN
“Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?”
YEMEN
“Yemen? That’s a stupid name for a country. What’s it mean -- ‘Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?”
INDIA
“You don’t live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?”
ETHIOPIA
“After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your pregnant son!”
CANADA
“You’re like Americans without money.”
SPAIN
“So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?”
SOUTH AFRICA
“I liked it better the other way.”
MEXICO
“What's that smell?”
SAUDI ARABIA
“Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?”
RUSSIA
“Is it always this cold and economically devastated?”
UZBEKISTAN
“Can you spell Uzbekistan?”
GREECE
“I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."
AFGHANISTAN
“Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?”
JAPAN
“What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?”
AUSTRALIA
“How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?”
AMERICA
“Was John Wayne gay?”
A trucker picks up a hitchhiker...
A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard.
After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for. The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash. The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his unit and proceeds to give the trucker oral gratification. When finished ,the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard. "See that?" said the trucker. The man said, "Yeah." The trucker ask the man, "You want to try it?" The man said, "OK, but don't hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!"
LYRICS!
Is Dexter ill today? Mr Kirk, Dexter's in school,
I'm afraid he's not, Miss Fishborne,
Dexter's truancy problem is way out of hand,
The Baltimore County school board have decided to expel
Dexter from the entire public school system,
Oh Mr Kirk, I'm as upset as you to learn of Dexter's truancy,But surely, expulsion is not the answer!
I'm afraid expulsion is the only answer,
It's the opinion of the entire staff that Dexter is criminally insane-sane-sane
CHORUS
That boy needs therapy, pyschosomatic,
That boy needs therapy, purely pyschosomatic,
That boy needs therapy,
Lie down on the couch, what does that mean?
You're a nut! You're crazy in the coconut!
What does that mean? That boy needs therapy,
I'm gonna kill you, that boy needs therapy,
Grab a kazoo, let's have a dual,
And when I count three,
That... that... that.. boy.. boy needs therapy,
He was white as a sheet, and he also made false teeth
Avalanches above, business continues below,
Did I ever tell you the story about,
Cowboys! M... M.. M.. Midgets and indians and...
Fron.. Frontier Psychiatrist,
I... I felt strangely hypnotised,
I was in another world, a world of 20, 20,000 girls,
And milk! Rectangles, to an optometrist, the man with the golden eyeball,
And tighten your buttocks, pour juice on your gen......
I promised my girlfriend I'd ...... violin
Frontier Psychiatrist... Frontier....Frontier..Frontier...Frontier Psychiatrist
*3
CHORUS
Frontier Psychiatrist
Can you think of anything that talks, other than a person?
Um um... a bird! Yeah!
Sometimes a parrot talks
Ha ha ha... Yes, some birds are funny when they talk
Can you think of anything else?... a record, record, record
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