Knock Knock Jokes

Knock Knock: Knock, knock Who’s there? Sorry, wrong door. Okay. Knock, knock Who’s there? Federal Express Federal Express who? I don’t know. I just deliver packages. Knock, knock Who’s there? Tom. Tom who? Tom Buchanan. Hi Tom. Knock knock Who’s there? Pizza delivery guy. Pizza delivery guy who? You ordered a pizza? Yes. I’m the guy delivering it. Great. Knock knock Who’s there? Susan. Susan who? Susan Caldwell. I’ll be right out, Susan. Knock, knock Who’s there. You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable. You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable who? I thought this was a redneck joke. Nope. It’s a knock, knock joke. Oops. Knock, knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who Don’t get so upset, crybaby! What? Ha! Ha! I made you say “boo-hoo” You’re a real idiot. That wasn’t necessary. Knock knock Who’s there? Creeping penis. Creeping penis who? I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last! Knock, knock Yo mama Yo mama who? Yo mama so fat, she caught a flesh-eating virus and that was three years ago. I bet you’re fat, huh? I’m… You are, aren’t you? Fat! I’m plumpish. Knock, knock Who’s there? FBI! … … Hello? FBI! Let us in! … …nobody here… Oh. Let’s go boys! (Phew!) Knock, knock Who’s there? There’s a dead old woman in your driveway. There’s a dead old woman in your driveway who? No. Seriously. There’s a dead old woman in your driveway. Actually, that’s just my piss-drunk bar slut of a grandmother. She sells toothless mouth love for “mind eraser” shooters at the Tyson’s Mall TGIFriday’s. Let the whore sleep it off. Knock, knock Who’s there? Henry. Henry who? Henry Kissinger. Did you know that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac? I’m not opening the door Henry. Damn. Knock, knock Tremble mortal and despair - it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH! Tremble mortal and despair - it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH who? Actually, I’m here for Jones in #D1 but I need to take a monster crap and I hate to kill and THEN use the bathroom, you know? Its rude and the other way around, well it ruins my dramatic entrance. So… You want to use my toilet? Yeah? Go right ahead. Got anything to read? Just the crossword. You finished it. Sorry? Hold my scythe. Hey! Don’t forget to light a match. Knock, Knock Who’s there? I know it was you. Crap. Knock, knock Who’s there? A talking pig. Pigs can’t talk. Neither can penguins, but I can’t shut him up! Wait till you get a load of the dancing candelabra… Knock, knock Who’s there? You want to buy a kitten? You want to buy a kitten who? Make pretty pet. I’m allergic to cats. Taste good, too? Knock, knock Who’s there? You sure you don’t want buy a little kitten? Yes, I’m sure. Could make one cute fuzzy glove? Knock, knock Who’s there? Ted Bundy Ted Bundy who? Let me in, meat! No! I mean… Hello I am Santa Claus. Yay! Santa! Knock, knock Who’s there? A Predator drone-launched Hellfire missile. Saddam, I think it’s for you! Knock, knock Who’s there? Gandalf the Gray Wizard, friend to hobbits and elves! Dork-ass loser. Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me! Knock, knock Who’s there? My mouth is full of spiders. My mouth is full of spiders who? I didn’t kill the baby. It was made out of popcorn. Popcorn baby! I need a bucket - my knuckles are melting… Man, you have got to lay off the cough syrup. Knock, knock Who’s there? Hitler Hitler who? Hitler: German, dictator, mass murderer. Little mustache? One testicle? “HEIL ME!” Ring a bell? I thought you were someone else. How is that possible? There is only ONE HITLER! Nope. Went to school with a Nelson Hitler. You’re just trying to annoy me now. Do you really have just one testicle? You’d think I miss it, but I don’t Knock, knock Who’s there? Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. What, and that makes you special? Knock, knock Who’s there? Some. Some who? Some asshole telling you knock, knock jokes. . Knock, knock! Who's there? An escaped serial murderer

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