MARRIAGE

 

Marriage is an important issue in Sikhism, no doubt you will have attended lots of marriages, sometimes of people you don't know or barely remember and sometimes in places you'll never visit again, but you will probably have been reminded by your parents and close family that you too will have to get married one day.

Marriage in Sikhism is not just about bringing two people together, it is seen as an alliance between families and so if you were to marry someone you would marry their family as well, creating a bond between your family and their's.

Arranged marriages are common practice both in India and in the West, but in India marriages are conducted at earlier ages than in the West, this is largely due to Western upbringings and education and career choices. Once someone in a country like Britain passes the age of about 25 their relatives often begin to worry whether they will ever get married, they feel like time is running out, even though it isn't.

Statistics released in Britain seem to argue that arranged marriages are more stable than love marriages because the divorce rate is low. This is not because divorce in Sikhism is forbidden although the rahit (code of practice) does not look too kindly upon it, but because if someone wishes to divorce their other half it feels as though they are letting their whole family down and will bring embarrassment to them. This is probably your typical Indian over-reaction where you wonder what other people will think of you.

Caste is still adhered to for the arrangement of marriages in Sikhism. Many still see it as important to find a suitable person from the same caste although in the West inter-caste marriages are becoming increasingly common as older generations are beginning to accept the freedom of their children to find their own partner. This shows that new generations are paying less attention to the notion of caste.

However in Punjab to marry outside of one's caste would be virtually unheard of. If it happened the person marrying out would be disowned. It is important for Sikhs in India though to marry out of their village so that the family can grow in size and not be confined to a small area. Other common practices in India include polyandry where a woman is married to several men, this is a particular custom of jats

The ceremony is essentially the same across the world because it has been regulated by a large Sikh organization that wanted to keep Sikh rituals separate and more distinct than to Hindu ones. You will have probably sat numb-legged through several but see ceremony for what happens.

Generally most weddings are mini soap-operas where everyone connected with the bride or groom panics from the early start in the morning and distant relatives gossip on how well (or usually, how badly) the wedding went and how when their children get married it will be so much better. The food will probably be criticized as will the entertainment afterwards but that's part and parcel of an Indian wedding, its almost a tradition in itself.

But where would Sikhism be without its wedding ceremony? It creates bonds and relationships and at the same time strengthens our religion because no other religion has a ceremony like ours. It is of paramount importance to Sikhs and is truly something we can be proud of.

Dont freak out at the idea of an arranged marriage, Sikhs know what the deal is and what they are responsible for in an arranged marriage. If you are planning to marry your boyfriend or girlfriend, good luck to you because you can count yourself as trailblazers for other generations of Sikhs.

The next time you attend a wedding ceremony, pay close attention because like your parents might say, it could well be you next.