blood soaked and honor bound: sku
Becka randomly crawls into a darkened room full of pants. She whispers, "Shhh... Ka-chan doesn't know I'm here, so she can't beat me up. Although I wouldn't mind meeting Touga again…" Clears her throat softly, "Anyway, this is the Utena 'Pants' Page. Basically, we have taken the Utena Scripts and inserted the word 'Pants' into various places. For example, Touga's line: 'Oh yes… Baby…. You've lit the fire in my heart.' becomes, 'Oh yes… Baby… You've lit the fire in my pants.' "

Becka pulls out a large medicine box and begins to read, making the necessary adjustments, "Caution: The 'Pants' page is highly funny and is not recommended to those who are faint of heart. It has been known to permanently damage the well being of its reader's mentality. Do not view this page if you are pregnant, have a history of heart-related problems, or are currently on any sort of other medication. To the older readers (50+), this page is not recommended. There are several older persons who did not heed the warnings offered above. They suffered a fatal dose of the Utena 'Pants' and are currently trying to regain their sanity. You have been warned."

Becka glances around nervously, then continues, "The original scripts from this page belong to the creator of 'Revolutionary Girl Utena.' No infringement is intended. The scripts were 'pants'ed by my favorite persecutor. You know, the one who seems to think I'm a glutton for punishment." Thinks aloud, "Well… that's at least what Akio thinks." Sweatdrops, "Her name is, if you haven't figured this out by now, Ka-chan. You have her to thank or kill for these scripts. Her E-mail address is sparrowskit@hotmail.com. Heh heh heh."

There is a loud noise behind the wall. Suddenly, Karen busts through, wearing an executioner's mask and carrying, not a mallet, but an axe, "Ah ha! So this is where you've been hiding. I've been looking for you!" Becka blanches as Karen moves forward. She speaks up in her own defense, "Ka-chan! It's so nice to see you… I was just making sure the pants were nice and tidy… yeah, that's it. I was straightening the pants."

Karen shrugs, "And…?"

Becka smiles weakly, "Umm… I dunno'… could you maybe put the axe down…?" Karen smiles evilly and swings the axe in Becka's general direction. Becka jumps back with that ever famous 'eep' and ducks under the swinging weapon. As the axe zips toward her hair, she shrieks loudly and…

Wakes up! She looks around slowly, finding herself in her nice safe happy bed. She breathes a sigh of relief, "Oh, good. It wasn't real. I thought Karen had *really* snapped that time… Thank God…"

There is a knock on Becka's door, "Come in!"

Karen enters slowly, holding something behind her "Oh, Becka… I just wanted to ask you…" Becka blinks, seeing the metallic glean of steel. She screams loudly and runs over to her window. She catapults across almost a hundred feet of space through an already broken window, and lands in the middle of a bed.

Akio slowly sits up with an evil grin, "Well… hello… my pet." Becka's reaction is a soft, inaudible 'eep.'

Back in Becka's room, Karen blinks, "Oh… umm. Right… Well, I just wanted to ask her what she thought of these." Karen holds out a pair of silver sequined bell-bottom pants, "I though they'd be great for introducing the 'Pants' page…" Karen shrugs and yells, "Hey! Do you still want that mallet?"


The Episode Scripts:

The Other Scripts:

 

 

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