Spike: "We're out of weetabix."

Giles: "We are out of weetabix because you ate it all. Again. Spike: "Get some more."

Giles: "I thought vampires were supposed to eat blood."

Spike: "Yeah, well, sometimes I like to crumble up the weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture."

Giles: "Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you'll just have to pick it up

yourself."

Spike: "Sissy."

Xander: "How could you say I'm using you?"

Anya: "You don't care about what I think, you don't ask about my day."

Xander: "You really did turn into a real girl, didn't you?"

Anya: "See? You make jokes during my pain."

Anya: "Well, I think we should talk about it now."

Giles: "Thank you for knocking."

Anya: "This isn't a relationship. You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms."

Xander: "Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my

friends?"

Spike: "Oh, we're not your friends. Go on."

Giles: "Please don't."

Giles: "I need you to take Spike for a few days."

Xander: "What?"

Spike: "What?"

Anya: "What?"

Spike: "I'm not stayin' with him."

Giles: "I have a friend who's coming to town, and I'd like us to be alone."

Anya: "Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?"

Giles: "Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could have said."

Spike: "I'm not having these two shag while I'm tied to a chair three feet away."

Xander: "That's not exactly one of my fantasies, either."

Spike: "Like I'd bite you, anyway."

Xander: "Oh, you would."

Spike: "Not bloody likely."

Xander: "I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist and delicious."

Spike: "All right, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat."

Xander: "And don't you forget it."

Spike: "'Xander, don't you care about me?'"

Xander: "Shut up."

Spike: "'We never talk.'"

Xander: "Shut up."

Spike: "'Xan-der...'"

Xander: "SHUT UP!"

Spike: "I look like a plumber to you?"

Xander: "No. You look like a big mooch who doesn't lift a finger around here. But I have to get to work."

Spike: "Yeah, delivering melted cheese on bread. Doing your part to keep America constipated."

Xander: "You earn your keep or you don't get kept."

Xander: "And doing a little laundry for once wouldn't kill you. Unfortunately."

Xander: "I hate to break it to you, Oh Impotent One, but you're not 'The Big Bad' anymore. You're not even the 'Kind of Naughty.'"

Spike: "Good-bye, Dru. See you in hell."

Willow: "What are you doing?"

Spike: "Bloody rot. Can't a person knock?"

Xander: "What? He wants to die, I want to help."

Willow: "It's ooky. We know him. We can't just let him poof himself."

Spike: "Oh, but you can. You know I'd drain you drier than the Sahara if I had half a chance. And besides, I'm beyond pathetic."

Spike: "I mean, am I even remotely scary anymore? Tell me the truth."

Willow: "Well, the shirt is kinda... not very threatening. And the short pants... But, you know, it could also be 'cause I know you can't bite. Which I guess isn't what you really need to hear right now..."

Xander: "Think of the happy. If we don't find what we're looking for, we're facing an apocalypse."

Spike: "Really? You're not just saying that?"

Xander: "That's my radio."

Spike: "And you're what, shocked and disappointed? I'm evil."

Anya: "So what kind of place are you looking for?"

Spike: "I don't know. Maybe a crypt. Someplace, you know, dark and dank. But not as dark and dank as this."

Anya: "It's pretty depressing, isn't it?"

Spike: "I've known corpses with a fresher smell. In fact, I've been one."

Xander: "That's my lamp."

Anya: "A gift is traditional. I read about it."

Xander: "That's among friends. With bitter enemies, we don't give them my lamp."

Xander: "Out, before I get the Slayer over here to kick your ass out."

Spike: "I don't know why she didn't come. Say good-bye, shed a few tears."

Xander: "Well, she has an appointment with someone who's actually still scary."

Maggie Walsh: "So, the Slayer."

Buffy: "Yeah, that's me."

Maggie Walsh: "We thought you were a myth."

Buffy: "Well, you were myth-taken."

Spike: "Well, what do I spy with my little eye? A demon. That would be - oh, right - the things I can kill."

Giles: "Spike. Wonderful. The perfect end to a perfect day."

Spike: "And, by the way, why the hell are you suddenly a Fyarl demon? You just come over all demony this morning?"

Giles: "You have to help me find him. He must undo this, and then he needs a good being-killed."

Spike: "And I'm supposed to just help you out of the evilness of my heart?"

Giles: "You help me, and I- I don't kill you."

Spike: "Oh, tremendously convincing. Try it again without the stutter."

Giles: "Money? I could pay you money."

Spike: "Oh, I like money. How much?"

Giles: "A hundred dollars?"

Spike: "A hundred dollars. You'll have to do a LOT better than that. 200."

Giles: "Fine."

Spike: "Right, then."

Giles: "Right, then."

Giles: "If you can't find third gear, don't try for third gear."

Spike: "I'm doing my best. I don't know if I'm driving this thing, or wearing it."

Giles: "It's perfectly serviceable."

Spike: "Funny hearing a Fyarl demon say "serviceable." Had a couple of them working for me once. They're more like, "Like to

crush. Crush now?""

Spike: "What was that? Did you growl?"

Giles: "No."

Giles: "Do I have special powers? Like setting things on fire with my sizzling eyebeams?"

Spike: "Well, you got the mucous thing."

Giles: "What? Mucous?"

Spike: "Paralyzing mucous. It shoots out through the nose. Sets up fast. Hard as a rock. Pretty good in a fight."

Giles: "Are you making this up?"

Spike: "Maybe. But hey, if you feel a sneeze coming on, you warn me."

Giles: "I don't like this feeling. This sort of mindless need to destroy. This anger, rage."

Spike: "Good times. Go with it."

Giles: "No."

Spike: "It's fun. I can't do it. Do it for me. Let yourself go!"

Giles: "I have a soul. I have a conscience. I am a human being. Ooh, stop the car. Right, let's go, then."

Willow: "It stole Giles' car."

Xander: "Why would a demon steal a car?"

Anya: "Why would a demon steal THAT car?"

Spike: "Two of them, English, like me. But older, less attractive."

Riley: "Buffy, I can't take you with me."

Buffy: "You're not taking me with you. I am going, and I'm letting you come along."

Spike: "How are you feeling, mate?"

Giles: "Like snapping necks until everyone's dead."

Spike: "Now, that sounds like a Fyarl demon. Good for you. Hey, picked up a tail."

Giles: "Yes, just a little one. Hurts when I sit."

Spike: "It's getting closer. And it's got a friend!"

Giles: "Damn! "

Spike: "Oh, sure. Dismantle the getaway car. That'll scare them."

Ethan: "Calm down. It's okay. Good Giles."

Spike: "You just try to stop me, you stupid jarheads... "