Gokou is a Manwhore!

On this website, you might hear a few ‘rumors’ about Son Gokou’s ‘services’, well, incase you were wondering what we’re referring to… *ahem* well basically…

Yes yes, I’ve seen it all myself, folks, no joke. But, you may ask, “If Gokou is a manwhore, then what about everyone else?” Well, I have the answers here just for you folks…

• Bulma~ Bulma is a whore as well, who could have guessed? Bulma is usually seen selling her ‘wares’ along with Son Gokou on the corner of Wal-mart and IHOP. She has also been spotted in the local SUBWAY buying those delish meatball subs so she can rub the sauce all over herself… don’t ask why. Some say that it attracts customers..though we don’t see how. We have eyewitness accounts to her “meatball sauce fetishes”.

• Piccoro~Now its obvious that Piccoro is a whore. And a natural one too. For one thing, he possesses antennae. Now, what uses are they’re for antennae? Piccoro is usually seen walking the streets of Roswell Road and Johnson’s Ferry late at night stalking little children and trying to get them to eat green apple flavored jolly ranchers. WHY? WE DON’T KNOW!! His favorite attire for his night of whoreing is usually a tight fitting pink sundress and a red feather boa, he is sometimes seen wearing yellow sun dresses with straw hats and sunglasses on those hot days of August.

• Bejiita~ At a first glance, most would think that Bejiita IS a manwhore. How mistaken you would be however, since Bejiita only whores himself to WOMEN!!! He usually gets his clients’ attention by standing outside doing ‘yardwork’ in his lovely blue spandex, making extra sure to bend over to pick up that clumsy rake that he dropped. So, the correct term for Bejiita is ‘gigolo’. He also ownes many women himself who go out and whore, Bulma being one of those, his daughter too we might add (though he doesn’t have sex with Bra, that would just be Guh-ROSS!!!) The money that he makes from whoreing goes directly to the “save the rainforest” foundation. Bejiita may seem like a meanie, but deep down, he truly cares.

• Bra~Bra, or Bura as I normally call her, is probably the biggest slut in the whole little collection of sluts. I don’t care who says she isn’t, just look at her and you’ll agree: As you can see from her attire, Bura is a little whore in the making. Of course, we all know that its genetic and that it rubbed off from Bulma… To view Bura soliciting her ‘wares’ is actually a rare sight, since her father, Bejiita, is very over-protective of his lil slut. Eye witness accounts have said that she was spotted down by Caribou Coffee on Johnson’s Ferry road drinking large amounts of coffee and consuming begals from Einsteins Bagel Shoppe.

• Mr. Popo~Yes, I know what you’re saying, “NANI? POPOSAN WA HENTAI DESU KA??” But it is true. Basically, Mr. Popo is Kamisama’s Bitch, and we have the PHOTO EVIDENCE to prove it! As you can see here, Mr. Popo is role playing for Kamisama, probably pretending to be Juliet from “Romeo & Juliet”, since Kami adores reading the hot and steamy sex scenes in Shakespeare’s plays. Need I say more about Popo? We did try to contact Kamisama and ask him more about Mr. Popo, however he declined and told us nothing… I wonder why he was wearing that wig…

• Gohan~You might think that Son Gohan would be the most unlikely person to be a whore… and you’re right. Gohan, being the smartass that he is, is actually the brains of the whole whoreing outfit, he manages the money and personal affairs and all that fancy jazz. Yet, Son Gohan does get some booty on the side… but not how you would think! In reality, Son Gohan is one that fucks dolls. Yes, that’s right. Dolls! Innocent bystanders have said that they have seen the Great Saiyaman (Gohan) chasing around a little ‘mime’ man…Chaotsu. Yes yes, quite disturbing… And he’s also been spotted in local toy stores screwing the life out of those “Polly Wet My Pants” dolls. Gohan has some SERIOUS problems!!! Besides from the horrifying fact that Son Gohan fucks dolls, there is also the tear-wrenching truth that Chichi, as strange as she is, forces Gohan to dance Irish Jigs almost completely nude for her with sausage links and a kilt on. And you can’t neglect those kneehigh socks while he dances his remaining degnity away. This last information was brought to me directly by Son Goten, who luckily, is one of the ONLY SANE PEOPLE!

• Kaiosama~This was a shock to my ears when the news was bestowed upon me that Kaiosama was a male stripper in his world. True, not exactly the same as a male whore, but along the same lines. He spends every other Friday evening dancing exotically at the local club. With the unique look: glasses, antennae, cricket wings, and oh-so-devine speedo… yes, yes it could work. And obviously it does. What other way could he afford that huge assed driveway (snake way) and his own PRIVATE PLANET!!! And that awesome car… even though he doesn’t need a carr… It is said that Kaiosama also tought Son Gokou, Yamucha, Tienshinhan, Yamucha, and Chaotsu the art of whoaring, but this is just a rumor, it could be false. He also has Bubbles too, whish he selfishly hoardes away from Gregory, and fucks ruthlessly in the anus, causing Bubbles extreme amounts of anal bleeding.

• Muten Roshi Kamesennin~ Little is known about this elusive Turtle Hermit. We do know however, that he lives on an island in the middle of the ocean with a turtle, named Kame we assume, a shape shifting pig named Oolong, and often gets cisits by his “students”. Most think that Muten Roshi is a raging hentai, when in reality, he is a raving homosexual. HOWEVER, we do know that Muten Roshi has gotten his lil puff puff on Bulma’s rack, so he could easily be bisexual. ((This is just a joke meant to amuse the audience, I hold no grudges or prejudice against homosexuals, bisexuals, or heterosexuals. This is just meant to be funny))I’m sorry to tell you this but Roshi, yes the always thought of heterosexual, has just topped the ratings of the gaydar.

• Yamucha AND Puar!~ This evil duo has been spotted sever times patrolling the sidewalks or rural streets, attempting to pick up any stray kittens for the pedophile prone cat, Puar. And along this rural road, Yamucha tends to get off by fucking trees; he’s our local dendropheliac who also tends to pork off on little boys as well. And not to mention that ‘fling’ he had with Bulma a little while back. Basically, these two work as a tag team when they are out selling their ‘goods’. Using Puar’s shapeshifting technique and Yamucha’s ‘good’ looks, they can snag any good looking tree or kitten out there! Beware of the tag team of doom! Here’s a tip Yamucha:Beware of those pine trees… their sap is sticky and their needles sharp, and caution of those hot and steamy oaks, for they’re just down right… hot and steamy. And for Puar: Caution of those lil kittens, we know you love them so, but they could be underage or be diseased or more. They could get your ass thrown in jail because you are too old, and hell, they could even give you herpes cuz they probably sleep around… I mean, you DO look around for your “victims” on rural roads… they probably are diseased..

• Cell~What can we say about Cell? He’s constructed from the cells of Gokou( one raging whore), Begiita, Freezer, and Piccoro… need I say more?

• Kamisama~ Since we all know that Mr. Popo is Kami’s bitch… then its quite obvious that Kami is amung the top rank whores. Lately, our sources tell us that he has been tying up Mr. Popo into the beach ball like structure and pounding his little black beach ball ass. Of course, this was quite obvious considering that Mr. Popo is related to a beach ball…and that Kami dresses up in a thong glitter bikini as he role plays. And you ask yourself, “Why was this freak gaurdian of Chikyuu THIS long?” THIS JUST IN!!! Our reliable source just told us that Kamisama’s lastest proof to him being a grade A+ whore is this quote: “OH yeah Mr. Popo, you look mightly slutatious in that too…” Suddenly I haver the urge to either kill myself or stop calling him KamiSAMA.

• Dr. Gero~ The First clue to Dr. Gero whore-ness is his creation of all the clothing that the jinzouningen wear. OF course, there’s a little exception to Juunanagou and Juuhachigou… Anyway, before Dr. Gero worked at the Red Ribbon Army, he was the head designer for the Mango Republic. Of course, that didn’t work out too well and so to earn a living, he started selling his body to whomever would buy. He later began selling his ‘wares’ for money, and when that started failing, he turned to laundry lint. Only later did he discover his genious; so he went and applied for a job at the Red Ribbon Army, got the job, and became a rich son of a bitch. His technology turned to the creation of jinzouningen, or artificial humans, and so he created many, as we all know. His creative flair and urges returned when he thought to himself, “what will my jinzouningen wear?” And so he splurged and began creating their attire… and became a whore once again.

• Kuririn~As the best friend and comerate of Son Gokou, Kuririn as well, is a man whore. He became a manwhore by hanging around with Gokou, Bulma, Yamucha, Puar, and Kamesennin far too much. He is often seen paying other people to have sex with him, since no one wants him because of his shortness and baldness. Well, there is one exception… Juuhachigou. Unfortunately, after their first year of marriage, Kuririn emerged from the closet (filled with her underwear) telling Juuhachi about his fetishes… manwhoreing being one of the many. A few of the other were wearing purple fishnets and parading around in her underwear. This was far too much to bear for the beautiful cyborg, so she requested a divorce.

• Corrin~ He’s great, he grows those awesome health-rejuvenating senzu beans and gives them to the needy. But is that all he does? Can you expect such a sexy cat as himself to not get any action? Of course not, and that’s where Puar steps in. Yes, those two do get quite freaky once in a while, Shh! Don’t tell, it would scar Yamucha for life!

• Tienshinhan~ Tienshinhan, using his three eyes, is always seen roaming aimlessly on the bustling streets and sidewalks of the nearest beaches. He usually wears a red and floral patterned speedo, as well as hideous star-shaped sunglasses- which he got custom made to fit his three eyes. Tien bathes with the dolphins and attempts to hit on young and naïve school girls. Fortunately, young and horny schoolgirls are usually not tempted to go for any of his three eyes. Unfortunately, for this lonesome manwhore, and his extra eye, he is usually unable to attract many candidates. However, those he usually does snag in his ultimate whoreing technique, tend to be old, fat, drunk, also have three eyes, or other physical deformalaties. Poor Tienshinhan, he lies within the lower ranks of whoredom.

• Son Chichi~ As the wife of Son Gokou, Chichi has some experience with whoreing as well, since she met Gokou as a little child, she had on quite the skimpy outfit. That was her first experience, and yet she still racks up experience points; she sexually raped and molested her poor disfunctional son Gohan until the age he was six, and even now she still forces him to dance naked (expect for a kilt and knee high socks) with sausage links tied into a purdy bow around his neck. Chichi’s strong sexual urges toward her son were probably brought up by the fact that her father, Gyuu Mao, or Ox King, used to rape her daily, she has since repressed the thoughts just as Gohan did, but unconsciously molests Gohan do to the fact that she was molested as a child. Lately, however, Chichi tends to spend the days at home cooking and cleaning, all the normal things that housewives do. Little does she know, that we are well aware of her little façade! The Database is well aware of her late night ‘sneaking out and dancing/prancing about on the streets of Ginger Town’ acts. Chichi was last seen trying to sell her ‘stock’ by the local pub. Unfotunately, she only ran into Kuririn, who was only there because of the lack of suitable hoe’s to pork that night. And also because no one in their right state of mind would even consider doing anything remotely physical with Kuririn… strange how Kuririn had money to binge on alcohol… or pay others to ‘tango’ with when he didn’t even get paid that night..

• Oolong~ The only ‘action’ this little piggy can get are that from all those porn magazines that Muten Roshi Kamesennin has laying around the house…

• Nappa~ Nappa was the ‘gaurdian’ of Bejiita no Oujisama, and oh boy, he was WAY more than just a ‘gaurdian’! Rumors from Freezer indicate that Napa was also Bejiita’s fuck buddy as well as teacher in the arts of anal sex (which Freezer got into as well). Nappa’s special attack was the special:Bleeding Anus Beam

  While using this attack, he concentrates extremely hard, forming a read beam of crimson ki, which resembles a rather massive penis. The beam then travels to the opossing warriors’ anal cavity. The ki then bursts through their anus, causing it to bleed, and thus giving this attack its name. As the attack finishes, the ki bursts out through the opponents mouth, thus killing the offender. Unfortunately, this attack was not seen. In order to create this attack, you must understand Nappa’s traumatic past… Nappa was a Neo-Nazi on Bejiitasei, working for Freezer as Bejiita’s trainer and gaurdian. The creation of the Bleeding Anus Beam was quite a mystery, of course, our resources indicate that he took it up the ass many a time; his first experience is that of a nice ‘friendly’ shower, where he accidentally dropped the soap. Slowly, the LARGEST man in the realm thought that this was an opportunity that could not go to waste… so he rammed that bald Saiyajin until this attack came to be. Nappa’s whoreing caeer didn’t draw out as long as he would have liked it to; Bejiita took it into his own hands to slaughter his “friend” as he hated the feeling of Nappa’s Bleeding Anus Beam ranning into him endlessly… Bejiita loves women. Nappa would be up in the top ranks of whoremongers if he was still alive, yes, up there with Son Gokou!

• Trunks~ President of Capsule Corp by day, punk rokker, nose peirced, hair dyed, buff, studly, tank top wearin’, tight fitting jean/jacket wearing, sword toteing Supersaiyajin manwhore by night! Surprisingly though, Trunks is one hard son uva bitch to locate and gather data on! He doesn’t show himself very often, however, when he is spotted strolling into local gay bars with his heterosexual friend, Son Goten, Who he forces to go with him by threatening to spread the information about his man-fetish prone father. Sadly enough, Trunks has had his ass thrown in jail for indecent over-exposure; ie: giving some future customers a breif glimpse of his package and what not. As he is not in jail, Trunks experiences the wrath of Nappa’s Bleeding Anus Beam daily, though, he probably enjoys it very much as taking it up the ass is one of his favorite hobbies along with interior design, gardening, ingaging in hot and steamy physical combat with some of his ‘friends’, and last but not least, shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch with Son Gohan’s daughter, Pan.

• Freezer~ Freezer, being part of an almost extinct race of asexual beings, still likes to get his groove on. He does this by using his form changing techniques, his mojo enhancing 100 fold at every metemorphesis. His final, purple and silver look, is by far that most superior, and he is seen whoreing around in this form the most. However, when he was turned into a cyborg, the scientist that constructed him added on some male genetalia, making it 100% possible for him to do some real manwhoreing! However, Freeza’s speciality is taking pornographic pictures of children and posting them on his website (<-- go there to see his latest work!) He does this by luring them onto his spaceship with large hoardes of candy, there he seduces them into making out with one of his trusty minions, Zarbon, and then he continues his assault by taking the children to kiddie parks abd buying them either Happy Meals…or by taking them to the newestPokémon film. Although this method is far different from the way he seduced Bejiita when he was young, his way’s haven’t changed much. He is still seen meandering down in hell trying to seduce children of the damned… but usually failing miserably because Cell, his partner, always pounces on his ass when he sees Freezer hitting on younger people. Yes yes, sad yet true—Cell and Freezer are partners down in the darker regions of hell. Although, make sure to congratulate then, it has been a rough 3 years, 5 months, 2 days, and 8 minutes since they have spoken their wedding vows. Good luck Cell and Freezer! Have a happy marriage!

  And now with the Finale…

  SON GOKOU!!!

  Son Gokou is by far the most homosexual saiyajin I have ever witnessed. No wonder Dr. Gero wanted him killed off. Anyways, yes, there are many reasons as to why Son Gokou is a manwhore. First off…

• Place~ Usually spotted on the corner of Wal-mart and IHOP- with Bulma and many others. Yet, he is also observed flying over cities such as Pantaloonesville toting a banner advertising his specialties- prices included. The banner reads as followes:

  Handjob- $57.43

  Blowjob- $81.99

  Deep Anal- $146.09

  Deep Throat- $64.03

  Sixty-Nine- $69.96

  Bondage- $121.54

  Group Sex- $110 plus an additional $78.23 for any extra person/blow up toy

  Misc- TROLL SEX AT NIGHT!!!- $1102.36

You might be wondering, “Hey, how do you KNOW that everyone from DBZ is a manwhore?” Well, we know this because our sources tell us that they are, we have evidence and photos as well (to be posted as soon as they’re developed). What’s that you ask? “But how do you know that your sources are reliable?” Well well, my dear, we know because…

Juunanagou is the ringleader of this whole operation and he reports in to tell us every minor detail about Bulma, Gokou, Yamucha, Bejiita, and everyone else’s sick and demented life styles! He gets every penny, nickel, dime, quarter, dollar, shilling, franc, ¥ - you name it!- from his workers! He rake in the cash, thus making him the richest Human/Jinzouningen in the entire universe!! YES! That is correct, Juunanagou

has his ways of uncovering the mortifying pasts of everyone and every sick demented detail about their whoreing! Of course, he couldn’t have done it without the help of Son Goten, Sailor Mars, William, and Sakayo. They all have their ways of obtaining their information… just, shh! This needs to remain hush hush.

That’s all for now.

I could not have made this page without the help of my good friend Will, for it is he and my own hentainess that this “Gokou is a Manwhore” joke came to be.

Also, this page was made in partnership withYes, Fang Banger, the best arachnid pleasure house you could ever imagine!

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