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An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area."

"Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"




A man was showing his friend a new set of matched golf clubs he had just bought.

"Doctor's orders," the man told his friend. "My wife and I have been gaining too much weight and we went to see the doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise, so I joined the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs."

"What about your wife?" the friend asked. "What did you buy her?"

"A new lawn mower," the golfer said.
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A husband asks his wife, "If I should die first would you marry again?"

"I would be heart-broken, of course," was her reply, "but I think eventually I would remarry."

"But you wouldn't bring him here to our house?"

"Why not? I've worked and slaved to make this house a home. There is no reason to abandon it."

"But you wouldn't sleep in our bed?"

"Well, I wouldn't run out and buy a new bed right away."

"Surely, you wouldn't let him use my golf clubs?"

"Of course not! He's lefthanded!"






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http://www.humorsphere.com/football/golf-jokes.html Golf Jokes by Humor sphere

This golf jokes collection was compiled by HumorSphere

101 Football Jokes -[ Golf - American Football - Baseball - Basketball - Baseball Quotes - NFL - Home - Man Utd - Celtic - Rangers - David Beckham - Aberdeen Jokes - Liverpool - Newcastle - Chelsea - Arsenal - Leeds - Latest Soccer Jokes ]-

A guy is standing in front of his locker at the country club admiring a golf ball he has in his hand.One of his golfing mates remarks: "What'd you do, get some new golf balls?""Would you believe that this is the greatest golf ball ever made?You hit it into the rough, it whistles.

Nick, an avid golfer uses a "Medium" to ask if Heaven has a Golf Course.The Medium says that his request is a big order, but he will try and find out and get back to him in a few days. Several days later, Nick gets a call from the Medium.

"OK," "what's the good news" Nick said excitedly. "Well, there's is a beautiful 36 hole golf course in Heaven, and you'll have 24 hour access with your own personal caddy," blurted out the Medium!"And the bad news?" asked Nick "You're due to tee-off this Sunday at around 10 in the morning!"

Email These Golf Jokes to your Friends

This golf joke collection is by Humorsphere.

http://www.golftrainingstuff.com/golf_jokes.html Golf training aids, golf training DVDs: Golf Training Stuff

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are playing golf. Moses tees up and hits his ball into the water trap. Nonplussed, he goes over to the lake, parts the water with his club, and hits the ball onto the green. Jesus tees up next, and also manages to land in the water trap, where the ball curiously floats. So he walks down to the lake, across the water, and hits his ball out onto the green. Last to tee up is the old man, whose ball heads straight for the water, also. As the ball hits the surface of the water, a fish jumps up and swallows it and is immediately grabbed by an eagle, which deposits the fish on the green. The ball shoots out of the fish's mouth and rolls into the cup. Jesus turns around and says, "Nice shot, Dad, but would you quit messing around and play golf?"
.

Bill, the avid golfer, contacts a "Medium" and asks if there is a Golf Course in Heaven.The Medium says that his request is a big order, but he will try and find out and get back to him in a few days. After several days go by, Bill finally gets a call from the Medium.

"OK," "what's the good news" Bill exclaimed. "Well," there is a beautiful 36 hole golf course in Heaven, and you'll have 24 hour access with your own personal caddy," blurted out the Medium!!"And the bad news?" asked Bill. "You're due to tee-off this Sunday at around 1030 in the morning," the Medium said!!

Have a good golf joke? dont keep it to yourself send it in to us.

http://www.jokes.net/golfjokes.htm Golf Jokes at Jokes.Net

Short Golf Jokes - Submitted by ?, Jokes4U, ?.

Is there Golf in Heaven - submitted by Jokes4U.

Short Golf Jokes 2 - submitted by Andrew McDonough.

http://www.bornsilly.com/jokes/index.php/marriage-jokes/golf-clubs-funny-jokes.html Golf Clubs - Funny Jokes | Funny Jokes

This entry was posted on Friday, June 8th, 2007 at 7:22 pm and is filed under Marriage Jokes, Golf Jokes, Men Jokes, Women Jokes.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

http://www.tydaniels.com/category/golf-jokes " Golf Jokes Ty Daniel's Golf

Jokes are just jokes so you can’t get offended.This golf joke was emailed to us, so we figured we should share it !It is a really funny poke at Tiger !!

Jokes are just jokes so you can’t get offended.This golf joke was emailed to us, so we figured we should share it !It is a really funny poke at Tiger !!

Just a random golf joke we recently heard on a local golf course right here in Southern California.

Macy was on Jay Leno and he told a great golf joke.

You are currently browsing the archives for the Golf Jokes category.

Golf mulligan joke where the wife dies

http://www.surfersam.com/dave.htm Golf Jokes and Funny Golf Stories. The Golf Course is a funny ...

Golf jokes and funny golf stories from Duffer Dave.Dave proves that golf is a funny sport.His golf balls are in the water hazard and so are his golf clubs.He doesn't break par on the golf course, but his web page is a hole-in-one.

Golf jokes and funny golf stories from Duffer Dave.My golf balls are in the water hazard and so are my clubs.I don't break par on the golf course, but my web page is a hole-in-one.

All I've got against golf is that it takes you so far from the club house.-Eric Linklater

Golf jokes and funny golf stories from Duffer Dave.My golf balls are in the water hazard and so are my golf clubs.I don't break par on the golf course, but my web page is a hole-in-one.

http://www.badgolfer.com/departments/jokes/her-indoors1.htm Bad Golfer - Golf Jokes and Course Humour - Indoors

Submit a golf joke to Bad Golfer!

Bill and his wife Sally died and went to Heaven together.They were met at the gates by an angel who was to show them the place. Right over here, we have our very own golf course!

Bill met Ralph one day after work at the local drinking establishment. "Did you hear that my exclusive golf club fined me £50 for hitting my wife Sally with a 9-iron?" moaned Bill.Ralph nodding his head sadly said, "Really? Was it for conduct unbecoming a gentleman?"

Submit a golf joke to Bad Golfer!

http://www.badgolfer.com/departments/jokes/caddy-golf-jokes1.htm Bad Golfer - Golf Jokes and Course Humour - Caddies

Submit a golf joke to Bad Golfer!

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf, enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy.Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway.

Submit a golf joke to Bad Golfer!

http://www.niblickandgreenes.com/jokes.htm The World's Funniest Golf Jokes

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home.As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"

"Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match."The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.

The golf pro, not believing his eyes, storms up to St.Peter demanding an explanation: "I'm a scratch golfer and have been for 20 years, and have been denied immediate entry to heaven, yet you let that weekend golfer walk right in."

http://members.cox.net/almor/golfjokespagetwo.htm golf jokes

golf jokes This Is Al Moore's Page 2 Of Golf Humor =====================================================

Rule 6.a.9 (k): There is no penalty for so called "out of bounds". If penny-pinching golf club owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur.The golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty. Rule 7.g.15 (z): There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float.That they do not is a technical problem that manufacturers have to correct. Senior Golfers should not be punished for manufacturer's shortcomings.

This is heaven Three golfing partners died in a car wreak and went to Heaven.Upon Arrival they discover the most beutiful golf course have ever seen.Peter tells them that they are welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there is only one rule: Don't hit the ducks.

Do You Have Clean Golf Jokes That I Could Use Here?

http://www.thornehills.com/golf_jokes.htm Golf Jokes funny golf jokes joke pictures mi. monroe carleton michigan best prices on golf golf at thorne hills

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf , enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy.Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway.

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http://www.basicjokes.com/dtitles.php?cid=90 Golf Jokes - Funny Clean Jokes about Golf

A golf club walks into a bar ...