Chp 3
“We’ve been invited to a party” Kat announced as Zac and Tia both came inside the house.
“Really?” Zac said inquisitively. “Whose party?”
“A party at Kevin’s house!!!” Kat said excitedly. “Can you imagine what the people from school would think? They made fun of us liking them, and we’re going to an actual Backstreet Boys party!!!” Tia jumped up and down and squealed.
“This is so cool! I can’t believe this! We need new clothes!!” Tia shrieked. “Who invited us?”
“Howie did. Somehow he figured out where we lived. He came here and invited us. He told me we can invite whoever we want. “
“Too cool!” Tia exclaimed. “Zac is my choice!”
“Well, duh! “Kat said going and hugging Zac. “There wouldn’t be a party without Zac”
“Superb!” Zac said happily.
“Should I invite Jose?” Kat said scrunching up her nose.
“Hell NO! You can’t jump Howie if your boyfriend is there!” Tia shouted.
“He’s not my boyfriend yet….Plus, I don’t know if I even want to jump Howie now. God knows I’m still attracted to him, but it’s weird.” Kat sighed. “My feelings are all mixed up. I was in lust with him for two years, but it’s different to actually have it happen. It was a total fantasy. Fantasy’s are fantasies for the simple fact that they will probably never happen. It’s a total sense overload thing. It’s weird to have the reality.”
“Well, just don’t invite Jose, ok?” Tia said. Kat agreed
Later that night Jose brought over Ike and it turned out he was perfect for the band. They agreed to start rehearsals the next week. They ended up going to CUBE again where they saw Nick and Howie. Kat stuck with Jose, while Tia danced and talked with both Nick and Howie. She practically fell over herself thanking Howie for the invite to the party. Kat and Tia both worked Thursday and Friday and Nick and Brian and Kevin all came into the diner. They got new dresses for the party too. Tia bought a simple black dress with cap sleeves. Kat bought a silver dress with silvery-black sleeves. Saturday night finally arrived and the three left their apartment in high spirits. They felt a little foolish going up to the house without a limo or fancy car, but walked up anyway. Kevin had a huge white Victorian style house, with an incredible lawn and landscaping. His house had a huge wall with a gate at the driveway. Their names were checked at the front door and they wandered into the huge house. They followed someone to a door to the backyard. They opened it to blaring music and a sea of people.
“Oh, Jesus” Kat muttered “I’m gonna be sick”
Zac grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
“It’s going to be great” Zac whispered in her ear. “We should get some liquor. Not only is it free, but it’ll calm your nerves” They went over to the bar and ordered martinis.
“There’s Howie.” Tia said nudging Kat. Kat looked around and saw he. He looked amazing. He had his hair ear length, and it was loose, and floppy. He had a pair of black tailored pants and a tight black shirt. Kat almost pinched herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. He saw them and started walking over.
“You guys came” Howie said happily. “I’m so glad. You both look very nice tonight.”
“Thank you Howie” Tia remarked, even though she was only half paying attention. She was trying to find Kevin.
“Let’s go introduce you guys around.” Howie said still smiling broadly. Tia and Kat followed Howie as he walked towards the house. They walked over to where AJ was standing, talking to 5 girls at once.
“Hey, AJ” Howie snapped truing to get his attention.
“Who are these two lovely ladies.” AJ asked as he kissed their hands.
“This is Tia and this is Kat” Howie said pointing to each girl.
“Very nice to meet both of you.” AJ said charmingly. Kat noticed AJ give Howie an unidentifiable look but she put it to the back of her mind. Howie introduced them to practically everyone there and they met a lot of nice people. The Backstreet Boys were all very nice, and it seemed natural for Tia and Kat to be there.
Over the next few weeks, the guys invited Tia and Kat to do more things with them. It seemed that whenever they had free time, not doing studio work, or TV or whatever, they called up Kat and Tia. They wet out to eat, went to movies, went to clubs and generally hung out. Jose and Kat started going out officially. Their band was named JITK, for the first letter of everyone’s first name. They played a few clubs locally. Everyday became a routine for Kat. She’d call producers and record companies until 11, she’d go to work until 5 and then the band would either perform, or she would go out to clubs or with Howie and the other guys.
Howie had given up pursuing Kat romantically for the present time at least. He knew that she was falling for Jose, but he wished she wasn’t. Howie was just trying to be Kats friend. They became closer and closer friends, mainly because Tia and Zac emerged themselves totally in the cub scene, and she had no one else to talk to. It finally came to the point where Kat was telling Howie the secrets should had only told Tia before. She trusted Howie, and he was such a sweet guy that everything came out to him, even if she didn’t want to.
One afternoon Tia and Kat were invited to a barbecue at Kevin’s house, and as usual Tia was unable to make it. Kat sat with Howie in the lounge chairs by the pool and talked while Kevin and AJ barbecued. Nick and Brian played in the pool with their new girlfriends.
“I can’t believe how cool my life is.” Kat said sighing. She had recently purchased huge movie star style sunglasses and was wearing them in true movie star style.
“You think your life is cool?” Howie asked raising an eyebrow. “In the fleabag you live in?”
“Shut up, Mr. I’m-a-big-hot-shot-singer-please-12-year-olds-throw-yourselves-at-me. We all can’t be you” Kat said pushing his arm. “What I mean is, like, if any of the jerks from school could see me, they’d die from the irony of it all.”
“What do you mean?” Howie asked curiously
“Well, they all laughed at Tia and I for liking the Backstreet Boys” Kat said laughing. “Now I’m friends with you guys, chilling at an enormous house, and they’re still in Newark”
“You like the Backstreet Boys?” Howie questioned with a little doubt. “We’ve been friends for 3 months and you never told me you were a fan.” Kat hit her head with her hand.
“Guess I forgot to mention that.” Kat laughed.
“Well, since you’re a fan, I don’t know if I can be your friend anymore” Howie said crossing his arms over his chest.
“Oh, please…….Howie, get over yourself” Kat rolled her eyes.
“I do believe that you’re the first fan that hasn’t harassed us for autographs or picture.” Howie said, “You seem very old for a fan too.”
Kat laughed again. “Well, I’m not too old…” She closed her eyes for a moment.
“Can I ask you a question?” Howie said his tone turning serious.
“Mhmmmm……” Kat murmured.
“Why’d you leave Delaware?” Howie asked turning to look at her.
“Oh…….well………………I guess…” Kat paused trying to collect her thoughts. “I didn’t feel right there anymore. I hated the positions I had. I fought with my siblings all the time. The only person I remotely got along with was my 4-year old niece. I used to have such a good relationship with my parents, but then things changed. I changed. My world changed. I knew that if I stayed there, I’d amount to nothing. My parents were so freaking needy, and the only person that could relate was Tia. I’m going to be famous, Tia understood, but no one else did. So, I left.”
“Do you miss them?”
“Well, every so often. I wonder how they’re doing, if everyone’s ok. I miss my niece though, a lot” Kat paused and smiled. “Taylor was my little sweetie. She kinda did everything like me, which I liked. I never got encouragement from anyone, but her truing to be like me made me feel like I actually possessed some good traits, which were desirable to replicate. By the time she was 2, she knew the Backstreet songs and dances.”
“That’s so cute” Howie smiled. “I bet she’s a real cutie.” Kat smiled and nodded.
“Have you spoken to them since you left?” Howie asked.
“Nope……….I haven’t spoken to them in I guess 9 months now.”
“You spent all those holidays alone?”
“That’s past stuff Howie.”
“I feel bad.”
“Don’t. It’s just, whatever. When I left home, I expected loneliness.”
::::’I’m alone too!’ Howie thought ‘If Kat and I were together neither of us would be lonely.’:::::
“Are you really that lonely?” Howie asked more.
“Well yah, kinda I guess. I’ve always felt lonely, even when I was at home. It’s like there's something missing. I can’t find anything to fill the emptiness. I thought maybe Jose could fill it, but he doesn’t really. It’s nice to have a boyfriend, someone who likes me like that, but now all he wants is sex, all the time. That’s fine, I’m into adventurous or whatever, but like, I’m not feeling the compassion I want.”
Howie felt his heart sink a little when Kat talked about Jose. He’d talked to Jose before, and he seemed nice enough but he didn’t trust him.
“Plus you bring such a good friend has made me less lonely” Kat patted Howie’s hand.
“Aw, thanks for throwing me that bone…….” Howie said sarcastically. Kat punched his knee hard. Howie grabbed her hand before she could pull it away and was twisting it.
“Ow” Kat cried half laughing, half in pain. “QUIT!”
“No….” Howie pulled her up and managed to throw her in the pool.
“Jerk! Now my clothes are wet!” Kat said pushing her wet hair off her face. “At least help me out,” Howie went over to Kats extended arms and started to help her out. Kat reached up and pulled him in too. She dunked his head in and messed his hair too.
After they’d eaten, everyone was sitting around the pool just talking together.
“So, when’s the next time your group is performing?” Nicks girlfriend, Michelle, asked Kat.
“Well, next weekend were supposed to be performing at the new club near Disney. Hopefully a record exec will be there.” Kat said excitedly.
“Can we come?” AJ asked. The guys had never come to one of the shows, but they always begged to come.
“I dunno…….” Kat responded skeptically. The guys were all real musicians and she didn’t want to have them laugh at her.
“Let us come!” chimed in Nick. Even Nick was starting to be nicer, and becoming a friend.
“I guess…….” Kat agreed reluctantly. All the guys cheered, being stupid about it. She reluctantly handed over directions to the show.
The day of the show finally came. Kat was nervous as anything, but Tia just took it in stride and drank a lot., her new custom. Jose and Kat were cuddling at a table when the guys arrived, 45 minutes early.
“Hey lovebirds, why aren’t you up there?” AJ asked nodding towards the stage. Kat scooted into Jose’s lap to make room for the guys and Brian and Nicks girlfriends. Joe started playing with Kats now silvery black hair, much to the chagrin of Howie.
“You’re early” Kat kinda laughed, lacing her fingers with Jose’s. Howie half winced.
“You guys make a cute couple.” Michelle remarked.
‘Drive the stake deeper’ Howie thought
“Can I be Maid of Honor at the wedding?” AJ joked.
‘Now turn it counter clockwise.’ Howie decided to tune the rets of the conversation out. After awhile, Jose and Kat had to go get ready. The band came out and they were decent for a rock band. Howie decided that the music must have been written by Jose, since they were sex filled. He knew Kat had written songs, that’s what she kept in her notebook. He wondered how Kat could stand to play the songs. After the show ended, Kat emerged from backstage alone.
“Can I come with you guys?” Kat asked delicately. “The guys want to go to a party, and I’d rather just chill.”
"Sure Kat” Kevin said wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “We can chill. We’re heading over to Nicks house, cool?” Kat nodded her agreement. Kat rode in Howie’s corvette as she usually did. They weren’t 5 minutes from Nicks house when Howie heard Kat start to cry.
“Kat, what’s wrong?” Howie reached out and gently touched her arm.
“I’m sorry.. I didn’t meant to cry” Kat said trying to wipe away the tears.
“C’mon. You can tell me what’s wrong.” Howie said soothingly as they pulled I front of Nicks house.
“Ok, well. Jose kinda told me he thought he loved me.” Howie’s heart fell a little.
“I like him, but I’m so afraid of falling in love. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love, and I’m afraid it will hurt so much. Howie.. I’m so confused…what should I do?”
Howie leaned over and hugged her.
“Kat, the thing is love might be painful. Being that open with one person, you have to expose everything about yourself, all of you become a little vulnerable part. It can only hurt if you don’t want to love, or if it’s with the wrong person. Love is about sharing you dreams and having someone their all the time to back you up. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just scary. But being in love and having them love you back is the best feeling in the world.” Kat sniffed a little.
“Maybe you’re right Howie…….” She sat up wearily, the tears still streaming down her face.
“I’m going to walk home, ok?” Kat said finally.
“Are you sure? I can drive you” Howie offered.
“No, I’d rather walk. I need to think. Thank you so much Howie. What would I do without you?” Kat leaned over and kissed his cheek before stepping out of the car and walking down the street. Howie put his head in his hands and leaned onto the steering wheel.
“Dude, you ok?” AJ sat in his passenger seat. “Where’d Kat go?” Howie didn’t respond. “Are you ok D?” Howie shook his head no.
“I basically told her to fall in love with Jose…..” Howie said in bewilderment of his own actions.
“Oh, it’s about Kat” AJ got the picture.
“I’m such a fool” Howie banged his head on the steering wheel.
“I knew you still liked her” AJ said.
“Yah, and I like her more each day….” Howie said sadly. “I’m practically falling in love with her.”
“D, listen, maybe you are. No one can blame you. We do stupid stuff when we like people, like tell them to fall in love.” AJ said understandingly.
“It’s just so bad. Like, how can I fall in love with her? She’s so young and innocent…….And she’s like my best friend. I can tell her anything and everything. And I know she understands. Even though she’s young, I know she's been through a lot.”
“It’s like that Vanessa Williams song where she says ‘you tell me your dreams to me, but give your love to someone else’ something like that. You get the drift. But I’m going to give you the best advice I can here.” AJ stated patting Howie arm. “I think if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. I think you guys were made for each other, just by the way you act around each other. Only time will tell.”
“Not much help bro.” Howie said rubbing his face with his hands.
“Trying my best” AJ hit Howie’s back and got out of the car. Howie sat in his car thinking about his predicament.
Kat walked home slowly, thinking about what Howie had said. He was kinda right, she should just open herself up. The words had made sense in the car, but now they were jumbled. She got to her apartment and found Jose sitting outside.
“What are you doing here?” Kat asked puzzled.
“I was going to ask you where you were….” Jose said slowly. His eyes were clouded over and looked almost black.
“ I was going to chill at Nicks with Michelle and them.” Kat said opening the door.
“Oh, so Howie wasn’t there?” Jose asked coldly.
“What?” Kat kinda laughed. “He was there.”
“I thought so.” Jose paced to the corner.
“What’s the matter?” Kat asked a little annoyed.
“The matter is.” Jose growled angrily. “THAT YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME WITH HOWIE!” Jose came over and hit her face hard. Kat stood there stunned for a moment, unable to comprehend what Jose had just done. She reached up to her face and started crying.
“Kat..” Jose said appalled at his own actions.
“Omigod, Kat…..” He came towards her, but Kat backed away.
“Kat, I didn’t mean…..” Jose came towards her, trying to reach out to her.
“No…just go away…….” Kat sobbed, backing away quickly.
“Come on, this isn’t what I meant to do…” Jose tried to explain. “I’m jealous that you and Howie are such good friends…..ok? I love you so much and I was jealous….”
“I want you to leave right now…..” Kat said her eyes darkening. Jose tried to respond but Kat stormed into her room and slammed the door. She heard Jose leave and started to cry harder. She’d look to Tia or Zac for help, but they both had a tendency to disappear for days on end. Kat tried to sleep off the ominous sadness.
