VOLCANO NOTES!
And here it is...... the reason for this website....... VOLCANO NOTES!!!! (the best story ever)
Volcanoes are big. They have fire and blow up. Sometimes people die. I bet they cry. They are on fire. When it cools down the lava is turned into rock. Maybe people get stuck in the rocks. They might cry too. Then fire and stuff kills them. Oh well. Then some more lava comes down and they see it and they say “Oh Crap!” then they try to run, but their feet are stuck in the rocks and they get run over. They died. Then it all explodes KABOOM!! The whole island might blow up! Then people cry. Some people might laugh. Then maybe giant rocks would fall out of the sky and maybe they’re on fire and maybe they might kill people. Then out of nowhere Godzilla come outs and eats everyone. They cried. Then a bobcat comes out and tells Godzilla to leave, but Godzilla says no. The bobcat explodes and it kills Godzilla. Then a building explodes and a dog comes out and it barks and gets magical powers. Then he flies into space and meets an alien, but they both spontaneously combust into flames, but the dog jumps around until the flames are out. Then he goes back to earth, but earth is on fire, because of a big explosion from a giant oil tanker that was as big as… something that was not small. The dog thinks only one person can save us now. None other than DON KNOTTS! Don Knotts comes out and whips out his huge penis and pisses all over the world putting out the fire. Then maybe Don Knotts would fly to Mars. He might meet a Martian there. Don Knotts would try to talk to it. The Martian tries to invade Earth. Don Knotts doesn’t like the Martian and he pulls out a gun and shoots him saying, “You’re not friendly enough!” Then the whole planet might explode. Don Knotts flies back to earth and uses his magical fire breath to destroy the asteroids left from Mars before they hit the Earth. The Martians might cry. The Earth people might laugh. Ha Ha!! Then out of nowhere a giant can of WD-40 comes out. It might say "HA HA!! I will lubricate you all!!" Then Don Knotts comes out and says, “You're not friendly enough!” Then Don Knotts might use his laser eyes to shoot holes in the can. The people might say, "No, You'll make the can explode" but it will probably be too late. KA-BOOM!!!!(Again) Then maybe the explosion would take out Australia. People would probably cry. Then back in Ohio. Down in Dayton, there was a security guard in a Holiday inn that took his job way too seriously. If he saw anyone in the pool or on the twisty slide past 11:00 P.M. he would yell “That’s a thwompin!” and chase you around the hotel with his night stick. His name was Rent-a-cop Burns and he was a large fat black man with a passion for doughnuts. They were his weakness. That and he was a fat ass. Maybe someone will put a box of doughnuts up and then put up a net, and maybe Rent-a-cop Burns will jump onto the net and get caught. After he finished the doughnuts he would realize he was screwed. Then maybe everybody would “say that’s a thwompin” Then maybe they would get clubs and beat him up and take his money. When he was knocked out they would put him in a bus and roll it off a cliff. Then the bus would explode. Rent-a-cop Burns might laugh. Then maybe Godzilla would come back to life. He might try to eat everybody again, but then the explosion from the bus might kill him. “Oh crap” Godzilla might cry. Then Godzookie might get really upset and fly around the world going a million, billion, zillion miles an hour and then stop. Then his head would implode creating a giant blackhole that sucks everyone into a parallel dimension. In this world giant cockgoblins rule with an iron fist. Then the cockgoblins would take all the people prisoners and we would have to rely on Don Knotts to save the planet. This was not an easy task, because the cockgoblins would send wave after wave of buttmonkeys until they were extinct. Then Don Knotts would shoot energy out of his head until the entire race of cockgoblins is erased from existence. Then Tiger Woods would come out and say “Hi I’m Tiger Woods” Then he would explode. Right before he does he says “Oh crap!!” Then the bobcat comes back to life and explodes again. Then a giant volcano comes out of the ground “If you want to be as strong as me drink Placentaron The sports drink of the future and the past. It is made out of 100% natural ingredients” Then the volcano would go back into the earth. Then a HUMUNGO ladybug comes out and kills people. Then maybe the A.L.A. (anti-ladybug association) would meet and say, “The ladybug needs to be stopped. Then maybe they would plan to get a giant bottle of bug spray, but before they can do it a huge nuclear bomb would fall out of the sky and spray radiation all over the ladybug. Now the ladybug has gotten twice as big as…….. The universe. It flies away, but then explodes destroying half the universe. Some people might cry. Some might laugh. Some might do both. Then something really cool happens. Then maybe suspenderman comes out and then maybe he would say “ I’m joining the red suspendi clan” Then maybe his suspenders would turn red and he would kill everyone. Then maybe he would use his suspender magic to bring Godzilla back to life. Then Godzilla would explode. Then Godzookie’s head would un-explode and there would be an un-blackhole and everything would go back to normal. Then rent-a-cop burns would crawl out of the burning wreckage and say “THAT’S A THWOMPIN!!!” Then he would pull out a nightstick and hop into the Holiday Inn van and go on a murdering thwompin rampage where he beat everybody down. Then he would go back to the Holiday Inn, but then tragedy strikes when the twisty slide explodes, but then it would un-explode and everyone would be happy again. Then some flaming condors fly by. Then they explode. Then Dave’s head explodes. Then the planet blows up. Then Matt pulls out a little white box and the Death Star crew come out and fixes the planet in less than 1.2 seconds. Then they go back into the box. Then Dave’s head un-explodes. Then Matt’s head explodes and he goes around as the headless horseman and chops people’s heads off with his hoss blade. Then Dave picks up a giant bull’s dick and uses it to smack Allegha around. Then the headless horseman becomes President and America blows up. Then it un-blows up. Then Matt’s head re-grows and he re-becomes President of the United States of America. Then Canada explodes. Then God gets mad, because His home country is Canada. God strikes down all beetles with a poster of the Teletubbies. Maybe nobody cries. Everybody laughs. Then Barney says, “That wasn’t very nice.” Then everyone says “shut up!” Then Barney says “I love you, you love me!” Then everyone says “No we don’t!” and obliterate him with a giant laser. Then a little piece of Barney comes out and hits Don Knotts. The Don Knotts gets really mad and yells “NOT FRIENDLY ENOUGH!!!!” Then he creates a giant energy blast that beats the crap out of anyone it touches. Then the energy blast hits the sun and the sun blows up, but then the magical dog comes out and puts it back together with a rainbow ray that comes out of his head. Then the dog explodes. Then it un-explodes. Then it explodes again. Then it un-explodes again. Then the dog flies around until he gets to Jupiter. “I HATE JUPITER!!!!” the dog yells and he uses a giant death ray to destroy Jupiter. KA-BOOM!! Fire is everywhere! “Oh Crap” the dog yells. Then the dog flies back to earth. Then Don Knotts says, “You’re just not friendly enough!” Then he hits the dog with a giant sledgehammer. This hammer explodes on contact and destroys the dog. Then Darth Vader comes out and tries to fight the leader of the Red Suspendi Clan. Dr. Suspendi uses his super-hoss attack and beats the crap out of Darth Vader. Then Darth Vader explodes. Oh by the way here is a song we wrote about Justin. “Wackin’ in the corner, by myself” (Sung to the theme of night court) Then out of nowhere something else happens and everybody is like “holy shit, How’d that happen? That was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!!” We won’t go into that though. Then a giant Mr. Bucket comes out and starts singing, “I’m Mr. Bucket, you put balls in my top, I’m Mr. Bucket, out my mouth they will pop. I’m Mr. Bucket, something something. I’m Mr. Bucket, Buckets of fun” Then Jeremiah comes out and says “What the fuck” In a deep voice. Then the A.L.A. comes out and announces that there is racism among them. They accuse Ann of being racist to Dave by saying that he cannot join because he is a “fag dumbass queer” then nobody cares so nothing happens. Then KoRn comes out. They start playing and everyone is like “Hey that’s cool” Then KoRn explodes. Then they un-explode. Then they say “That was kind of sweet” Then they left. Then there was a giant bomb and everyone runs in terror, and a little clock comes out and it has a little counter on it. Then it gets to zero and everyone screams, but it turns out it was just a dud and everyone celebrates. And the peasants rejoice. Then something big blows up and they all die anyway. Did I say volcanoes are big? Maybe I did. Then a big volcano comes out and it starts to erupt. “Boom, Crackle, Snap” Then it pours hot molten lava all over the state of Rhode Island. Rhode Island is completely destroyed. Then the volcano explodes! KA-BOOM!!! But wait! It seems in our endless rambling we’ve missed the entire Dr. Suspendi/Suspenderman saga! Deep in the heart of Suspenderville U.S.A. Dr. Suspendi and Suspenderman worked in a secret laboratory searching for a way to eradicate crime. Then one day… A breakthrough! Dr. Suspendi emerges from the lab holding a pair of white magical suspenders. All is going well for our heroes. They are as close as brothers fighting side by side.. but then something happens! Dr. suspendi gets a craving for power. He looks down the dark path and his once white suspenders turn to red. “Oh Crap” says Suspenderman. They become arch-nemisisisisis’s. Dr. Suspendi, now a maniacal evil genius has created a whole legion of highly trained fighters known as the dark suspendi clan! Then the day of the big battle comes! Dr. Suspendi and Suspenderman glare into each other’s eyes.. Then!…They both get attention deficit disorder, forget what they are doing, and go fly kites. Suspenderman’s kite explodes though!! Suspenderman is pissed!! In his rage he is turned to the dark side and becomes part of the dark suspendi clan! Anyway.. back to the story.. Rhode Island is devastated! How could things get any worse! Oh shit! Here comes Sassafrass!! There’s only one hope now! That’s right! Brandon Good! Brandon runs out and starts to fight Sassafrass. Brandon gets his ass kicked. Why does he have his cock out? That’s not right… Then Brandon explodes!!! (Hard to believe isn’t it!!) Then Don Knotts shows up! Holy Shit! Sassafrass vs. Don Knotts!!! This is the battle of a millenium! Knotts shoots a super death ray at Sassafrass, but he merely flicks it away. It fuckin works on almost everybody, but it didn’t work on Sass. Sass starts shooting lasers out of his eyes and there is an explosion that can be seen from the moon!! The dust clears and Don Knotts is just standing there unscathed. The moon is pissed off by the blinding light that is being thrown at it so it rams itself into the earth instantly killing Sassafrass and Don Knotts! The world is shocked. How could their hero be destroyed.. Then Brandon un-explodes. Even the kicker blows up! Then out comes Mrs. Root. She gives a lecture on common courtesy until everyone in career connections’ heads explode. Then Brandon comes in and starts screaming “MEET GEORGE JETSON!!” This is more than Mrs. Root can take and she screams “No talking please….. SHUT UP!!” Then realizing that she has said shut up her brain overloads and her entire head explodes! Brandon starts kicking Sassafrass’s dead body. Then out of nowhere (but really is anything in this paper out of somewhere?) Rent-a-cop Burns runs out and screams “THAT’S A THWOMPIN!!!!” and beats the crap out of Brandon. Then the ghost of Don Knotts comes out and yells “not friendly enough” Then Scooby Doo runs out and he’s all like “It’s Ron Rotts!” Then Don Knotts says “That’s not my name!! I hate talking dogs!” He then uses his telekinetic mind ghost powers to kill Scooby Doo!! Then triumph the insult dog comes out and says “Oh that’s a nice explosion… For me to poop on!!! Then the lights blew up! And we sat in the dark.. Then Don Knotts came out (Isn’t he dead…?) and said “not friendly enough!!” So the lights up-blew up. Then the football players came on to the field, and maybe Godzilla would come and spew fire and death everywhere! But maybe not. Some cried.. some laughed.. some just sat there.. Then Sass-the-ass goes and runs onto the field. What’s up with that?!?! Brandon runs in and kicks him in the nuts. His head implodes!! Brandon cried, then laughed. Then McCoy told him to go run laps. So he did so with Sass-the-ass’s imploded head. Then Bellevue won, and Brandon exploded. Then the stadium blew up, leaving Godzilla the remains. Godzilla barfed everyone up and everyone unexploded… but none of that really happened because Godzilla lives on Mars and can’t get to the stadium. So Godzilla tells Godzookie to go do it cause Jeff Polley can’t kick the ball. So his nuts explode. Then he says “Shit I have no balls!” So he takes them from Big Walnuts. Now Jeff has nuts again. But wait.. Brandon is a dumbass because Godzilla obviously didn’t live on Mars because it already blew up! They all just fucked up the whole damn story! 3 years in the making and it’s all for nothing! Nothing!!! Then Big Board Friday blows up! Now were not on TV! We’re really fucking pissed off!! Oh fuck! Stay totally still! Here comes Sassafrass again! Holy shit!! He’s gonna rip some nuts off because Sass-the-ass was his son! While all this is happening the volcano in Hawaii is blowin shit up! Lava spewing everywhere looks like some guy just spit all over… only lava.. Then monkeys came in and started masturbating all over and everything. Especially on Jeff Polley’s imploded face! He cried like a baby getting a spanking! Sassafrass then looked at all the cum that was thrown at him and shoved it down everyone’s throat killing them instantly.. Except for Chad Parsons who was used to getting cum shoved down his throat!. Then Don Knotts (who apparently came back to life along with Sassafrass even though nobody wrote it in) comes in and yells “that’s not very freeking friendly” Sassafrass exploded with the whole universe. In the end Don Knotts is being the show masturbating. Jon Smith exloded! (shouldn’t he already have expoded??) Everything else un-exploded! Does that mean I get to bang your mom on the table? No, not really... cause she's a fucking ugly obese bitch. But enough about your mom, cause she's a cunt sucking whore. Speaking of whores, what is that monkey doing? I think it just got done wacking off cause he still has a chub!! HOLY SHIT!!! There is a rare flying Yak! He's flying over a volcano... the thing we were supposed to be writing about but got sidetracked..... right.... He fucking flew by Rob Larck and pulled his head off his fucking shoulders! But what he didn't know was his head was a time bomb and the whole world blew up!! BAM!!!! Who cares... we forgot where we left off but really... who gives a fuck.. I bet that guy with 7 testicles does... they fucking exploded! There was green gook everywhere!! I just smashed a tiny fucking bug! It was walking on the fucking paper and I fucking smashed its bitch ass!! BAM!! WITH A HAMMER!! A FUCKING HAMMER!!! What the fuck? This story is fucking pointless.. Russel just yelled "what the fuck?!" Yeah so I was in English 1 four years ago and we had to write this stupid fucking paper on a topic of our choice.. and I picked Volcanoes.. So I got out this peice of paper and was like... Volcano notes!!! So it's mrs. huffman's bitch fault that this whole GOD DAMN thing got started!! FUCKING TWAT!!! I PUT THE FUCKING PEN IN MY MOUTH!!! IT HAD DEAD BUG GUTS ON IT!! FUCKING SICK!!! Then Brandon said "that's a lot of chicken scrath" I can't spell scratch... fuck.. Then the bus exploded!!!!! KABOOM.. It was beacuse fat ass Will farted! What a fucking fat bastard! Fisher sucks dick for a dollar! I just heard it! I'm not lying! I would not lie! NO REASLLY! I WOULDN"T FUCKING LIE! KABOOM! I don't know what the fuck exploded! Where the hell did that boom come freom? Must be fat Will's ass again! WHAT THE FUCK!? Don Knotts is back and said to Kevin "you're not freindly enough!" and shot him.. poor boy.. His last words were "Russle looks like an ogre with big titties" Come to think of it he does. Ever think fire hydrants look like big penises? I do. They shoot their load putting out fires. oh well.. just a thought.. Holy Shit! Kevin came back from the dead and shot Don Knotts for shooting him.. He didn't even get to finish masterbating! oh well... what the fuck.. Kevin just heard someone say "dumairfhd" aka dumbass. Did you ever see that movie signs? no... oh.. KAAABOOOOM!!!!!!! What was that? Yep more green gook everywhere. There was a big shroom cloud of green gook. and I forgot my FUCKIN GCD PLAYER. GOD DAMMIT WHY WON'T YOU EVER FUCKING KICK IT!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!??! I just put the window up for kevin's cold bitch ass. aka "terry" or "Hairy" WHAT THE FUCK!? Our windw fell down like the bitch it is. 2 whole fucking pages and we're not that far out of bellevue yet. And some bitch is talking about "white penises" Sounds interestiong. I have a white penis. Kevin: Me too! What the fuck is that? It looks like a fucking thing! It's red and white with tenticles coming out of its ass!! A day of the tentivle!!! Horror story or video game? Video game definately. Kevin played it he would know BRANDON just passed the paper back to me! YEAH BITCH! That field is waterlogged just like my ass! My ass is waterlogged because that fat bitch Hopkins pushed me in some sprite! FUCKING SPRITE!!!!! I HAVE A STICKY WET ASS!!!!!!! That bitch up there is probably still talking about white penises! I bet she's had a lot of penis's inside her! What a slut! She's like the village cat... wait.. that's supposed to be bicycle.. not cat! Bicycle!!! Everybody gets a ride! Brandon has to piss like a racehorse in heat! The kid behind me just said "Are we going through re-pubic or what?" What the fuck is re-pubic? Do your pubes grow back inside of you and does your voice get all squeeky again? and youstart jacking off a logt again? wait.. again? what the hell am I talking about? Guys jack off all the time! I bet that firl a few row up has jacked off a few guys in her time! That's a pretty sweet ass truck! I can't see it It's camoflaughe! Whered it go? What the fuck!? Oh there it is! KABOOM!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! IT BLEW UP!!!!!! Brandon is going to rip his teeth and shove them so far down his throat he can shew his own ass out! WOWWY MAUI!!! OH WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM! I fucked up! I fucking fucked the fuck up! I wrote on the wrong page and now we're fucking obligated to write 2 MORE FUCKING FUCKED UP FUCKS OF PAGES!!! NOW over to BRANDON! with more announcements! AND THE SEVERED HEAD was found in the elevator shaf. HAHA shaft... I got one of those... like a penis! YEp still gotta piss like a fucking rthree toed sloth that can't take a piss cause he is too fucking slow and has a small penis. Don't worry folks we're just stopping at a stip sight Now Russel looks like an ape with bitg tits that is sleeping. I think Russel wants to have sex with me! DIRTY ROUGH ANAL BUTT SEX!! I bet that girl up there would be there too! WHAT THE FUCK!?!!? Why does he have his cock out?! That's not right! So I was talking to Santa the other night and he was FUCKING PISSED! He said this fucking guy named Sassafrass came over and started cumming in his beard! It took him 3 weeks to clean that shit out! And he dropped the C-BOMB!! THE MUTHA FUCKING C-BOMB! And Kevin just laid the biggest fuckin fart ever!!! I think I just saw the biggest anal probe of my life. So I was getting my parka and Chris Mygrant came up to me and said "marching 40" and I nodded and ignored him. He's a fucking waste of air. that is precious mutha fucking air that I could be breathing but NOOOOO!!! He is taking it from me! I think I'm going to shoot him in the temple so he dies a horrible death. After that I'm shooting calvin cause he's a fucking deuch or howerver you say it.. That dumb bitch us talking about purple penises now! What a bitch! I bet she has aseen them all! Red, white, black, purple, green, and yellow... and fuecha or however the FUCK YOU SPELL IT!!! Tell those suntsuckers to quit being faggots and put their windows up That bitch wanted that bottle like she wanted cock! Kevin smells like perfucme. Maybe cause he is wearing a colorgaurd shirt.. cause he spillded FUCKING SPRITE all over his other shirt. So close but yet so far... almost but not quite... I'm gettting tired and kevin fell asleep on me cause he had a hard night last night of having gay butt sex with... umm... whoever it was it wasn't me!! Why am I tired too? Ummmm...... cuase I really gotta piss and if I don't go soon I will piss my pants and I'm almost... "WHAT FISHER IS GAY?" "FISHER'S GAY!!" there! YES! made it. and another thing calvin berkey likes the cock and wants someone to put it in his ass thats all for now stay tunded for later commentary from Kevin. We will finish thinks that the game or whenever the hell I fall... wake up. Feels like kevin's ass has been in a grinder and my bladder exploded with BRIGHT ORANGE GOOD ALL OVER!!!! He's a bitch fuck cock suck. Let's go eat at Grandma's pantry. OH HO! I'm the hero! Now I'm going to fuck you in the ass cause I'm the bad guy!!! We thought of awesomely funny shit and we forgot it all!!!! but kevin's boner did go away. Full service at self sercise prices. and we did get a couple of KABOOMS! that we forgot about but who fives a fuck? Not me. I do. Strong as 10 regular men he likes thecock. Kareoke w/BJ Billie. UH-OH! THE MATRIX.. dance club... next to rainbow muffler with front end struts!!