Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
My Thoughts
This page is of thoughts as they go... I ramble on about things not worrying about spelling or grammer. I just type on notepad and paste it in here on this page. So enjoy (or become depressed with me) my depressing thoughts that explane why I am the way I am.

"What's the meaning of life?" asks a young boy to a local minister.
"To live to serve our lord." answers the minister.

What is the meaning of life? The answer is... not that easy. Humans live because it is our instinct to live it is what our body tells us to do. We think not of what life is really about, people think "I want to make something of myself." Now what would they make them self's into? Hmm? A bird perhaps? How about a Dog? No? They are talking about a career, or making themselves known among others.

Now what is the simple things in life? what is the basic necessary elements of life? Air, Water, Food, and Shelter. Listed in that order, what do we have? Bottled water, burgers and fries, and HUGE buildings, houses or other such... these basic needs are being met. They won't be met though without money...money is what makes the world work it seems... with it you can get many things. Without it you could be in some serious trouble.

It would seem to me that the world is so wrapped up in currency that we are forgetting the basic needs of humans. Its an endless loop of suffering...

a child is born________they go to school to learn________to work in the market place________so they can earn money________for college________so they can get a better job________for more money________to support a family________which means________
We have money to spend it on the basic needs but that isn't enough... we can't wait for the end of our life we need to keep our mind busy with TV, Games, Computers, Hobbies, etc............

I now conclude... Think to yourself where you are in life... do you have a job? If so what do you spend the money on? A car? for what? To get your self to work and school? Why do you go to school? Because you need to get a better job and be on your own so you can get a family of your own...(I hope)



"The courage one must have to love, is only as much one must put forth when the moment is right."

When people speak of loving someone, they explain such in a different perspective. "Love is of truth". What utter nonsense! Love is of nothing more then a simple human emotion aided by a hormonal response that the body reacts to, giving the mind a signal that they call "love". Love is only a desire, only a human instinct nothing more. I speak of the truth. Explanation otherwise would be just nonsense. To "love" is only to respect, to serve and to be devoted, to be attracted to a certain person. When one loves one only thinks of love as a simple word for a complex emotion.

Love brings forth PAIN and SUFFERING to love someone is just a sign of weakness. The emotion easily goes out of control. Easily making for a mistake some mistakes are regretted and never can be taken back or made better. This love is just another evil 4 letter word. Love is the prime evil, the worst kind of evil the the emotion of unseen darkness that lurks in the lovee's heart.



"The mind consists of many wonders"

It does indeed. Hold you hand in front of your eyes, turn you hand slightly and make a fist... now how did you do that? How did you process a simple command and execute it? Now next time you look at yourself in a mirror ask yourself who am I? What am I? By any means you are not who you think you are... you are a serial number to the government, a word to friends and family. You are you.

What do you dream about? Is it of flying? Falling? Is it just of something too good to be true? how do you think you exist on this planet and still be in another imaginary world? This is a monitor you are looking at... it is made from various materials found on the planet that is below you right now. Reach out and just touch the monitor's screen... you can feel it is smooth... that is your physical senses telling you that, just a physical shell that you call your body.

The people that worry about how they look and wonder if other people think they are ugly....aren't. In all reality it is their mind that is classifying them as so. Their body that the almighty had granted them is one that can not be replaced and should not be altered. He/She that thinks they are not "good looking" is only worried about the physical body... The mind is the most beautiful part of a person. One should think differently when classifying someone as stupid or ugly because they look different... Humans can be cruel like that.

What happens when a friend turns their back on you? Something terrible happens and you don't know why. They ignore your calls and when you finally reach them they just tell you they are mad at you. It makes one feel lost. What if just by chance that person gets the rest of your friends to stop talking to you for the same reason? The person isn't truly a friend then. What if you bend over backwards to make them happy and would do it again but they would still ignore you? It would make you really sad wouldn't it? Be careful with your good friends you never know how much you miss them till you loose them.



When is it time to move on?
Its when you finally realize that there is something holding you back. something that is really hard to let go of, you don't want to. Something that has caused more trouble then its worth. The thing that you think is taking stress off but really giving you more. To let go of something is nothing more then to forget it on purpose. The less pain in life that one must bear the better. Unfortunatly things come with many promises that never are kept. When you realize that it isn't going to happen at all the way you planned it, its too late and its hard to let go because you have invested so much of your time and effort into it. Relationships only last to a certain point then die. Sometimes in horrible ways like when you didn't know it died and they stop talking to you. Whats really depressing about this is you don't want to believe that you have been betreyed.... WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN. Like I know if I died tomorrow in a fatal car accident that people I won't name right now wouldn't care at all, they are truly not friends at all. I am alone. I feel betreyed. I need to move on.


Why is it when we are hurt by emotion that what seems like a knot appears in our throat? The medical explination is.... not interesting.
My explanation is when one gets hurt badly enough there is a sensation of guilt, like "we could have done something more." usually that isn't the case. When someone hurts you as bad as to cause a knot then that cannot be helped further... The best thing is to let it all out, then do something you enjoy. The knot is the feeling of hurt emotion, dissapointment, guilt, fear, and depression all in one feeling... the brain cannot handle such a thing all at once so that is why. This knot is just a pressure build up of so many feelings that the body can't let go all at once. Crying releases some of that pressure, so does doing something you like or talking to someone. It will make one feel better.