Ronald McDonald goes on tour for his new book "I make burgers and I make fries, but I would rather eat what's between your thighs".
Ronald McDonald owns a chain of resturants, he has a town named after him and he recently opened a car dealership. But he has also had his life threatened, he has been to prison and he has been to space. Now everyone that has wondered how he got to where he is and why he always wears makeup and red and yellow attire can read the whole storie from Mr. Mickey D's himself. On this tour Ronald is going to area McDonaldLand Bars, Churches and Burger Kings to "Spread the word of Ron" as he says.















A true man of the people Mr. McDonald also took out time to give a check to the McDonaldland home for fat asses and blimpies. He was quoted as saying "Even big old fat pigs like these scum bags need money... how else will they stay fat? Without money they will all get skinny then who will we beat up and make fun of? If it wasn't for them my burger chain would have shut down years ago!!! So it's time I give back to the over-eating scummers. Go fatties!!"













As he handed the check over, Mr. McDonald was surprised with a giant balloon of his likeness to be entered in the McDonaldland Ronald Day parade. When he saw the giant version of himself Ronald pulled a gun out of his left pocket and waved it over his head yelling "That's not me!! I'm not a fattie like these little pig-o's!! I'm not fat!! I'm not! NOOOOO!" He than began firing into the air and at random fat kids until he hit the blow up Ronald causing it to explode and rain down chunks of "Fattie Ronald" onto the world.






























He then put on a pair of sunglasses and walked around picking up pieces and then pretending he himself had been shot much to the delight of the crowd. He then posed for photos with all of his fans. After a great round of applause he grabbed his cups and drove drove off in a McShoevy Large singing "It's a small world after all... but if you touch my cupps I'll cut your ass!!" and drinking vodka from the bottle. What a great human being Ronald McDonald is and what a great life we have lived because of him... Thank you Ronald... Thank you.