Monday Jan. 13, 2003 Harvard Scientist Hans Jefferson led a group of Harvard Science and Logic Students to the conlusion that Matt Alvarado is abnormally sarcastic. The study began when, by chance, Jefferson happened to be in the same Village Inn as Mr. Alvarado when he overheard him ordering. Proffesor Jefferson was intreagued when he heard Matt order an "All world double cheeseburger" with a tone of voice he thought was unusual for someone ordering lunch. Jefferson states, "I had to study him, I cancelled every other study for the entire year....I mean, really, who is THAT sarcastic?" Harvard Chemistry major, Figero Tatem said, "It was rad....he was...like...So wierd and I felt the urge to strike him." When the Studies had concluded, the team found that Matt Alvarado is indeed abnormally sarcastic. When asked for his take on the study, Mr Alvarado stated, "Oh yeah...Like I'm gonna answer your questions."
