The take no prisoners frontman. The hardest hitting drummer around. The quiet and polite bassist. No doubt you have already guessed the band which I am talking about. These persona's, no wait, LIES that are fed to the media are all wrong. Well, not the bassist, he is actually very polite. BUT the other two, thats a whole other story. Here is an excerpt from my new book "SLK: The Myth, The Magic, The Legacy" that will shed some more light on the subject. In what was described as a shocking turn of events last week, local band Sounds Like Kong got together for their weekly rehearsal and ended up drinking the night away. This marks the second week in a row that the band has failed to use their practice time wisely. The night began as usual in the cozy Bellevue home of their mutual friend and manager Jeremy and things seemed to start out as planned. "I had the whole practice set up. We were going to tweak some of our original songs like Backyard Barbeque, A Love Song, Requiem of a Snowflake. But that all went to hell after the beer showed up", said a hung-over Marty Barret. While the band has the usual beer or two while practicing, it has never become a problem. However, Bassist Jim Greve admits it's hard to stay focused on music when Marty smells alcohol on the premises. "We were about two songs into our set....maybe three or....I don't remember exactly....I'm still kinda trashed, and Jeremy mentioned that there was a keg in the kitchen. Instantly all I could think about was doing a sweet ass keg stand! Besides we weren't doing anything important."Says frontman Marty Barrett Music was done for the night. In what became the most productive event of the evening, Matt and Marty challenged each other in what they dubbed a "Keg Stand Showdown". After three rounds of intense competition Matt Alvarado emerged as the winner beating Marty by nearly a full minute. "Matt only had to beat me by a second to win but he held on for like 56 seconds after that just to rub it in. I was like...Daaaaam! It was pretty cool. It beat the hell out of playing music, that's for sure." said Barrett. Alvarado was ecstatic.....and drunk. "I am the keg stand God! All those who dare challenge me will suffer the same fate as the fate as your false prophet Martholamew!", yelled the trashed drummer. Marty on the other hand challenged himself in the loser bracket consolation match and somehow lost. He placed third out of two people. He was emotionally disappointed. Barret then reached for the beer bong he lovingly called "The Eliminator" and blacked out. The next morning two of the three bandmates awoke in Jeremy's front yard with their equipment lying next to them. The third, Greve, watched from inside with a knowing smirk. Neither one of them could remember how they got there. When asked for comment Jeremy had this to say: "Those guys are f***in' nuts. They try finger-painting my walls and then they try to burn my house down because the Eliminator told them to. I let them Jam here and that's the thanks I get?" After a long apology to Jeremy, they agreed to schedule a practice for next week. Same time same place. No word yet on whether the Bud Ice keg will be in attendance.
