TKO SHOW THIS FRIDAY

Posted by Morgan  

I know most of you know what happened yesterday. So... I just want to let people know that the show this Friday, the 8th, at TKO...or at least Flesh Made to Suffer's portion of it will be a goodbye to Nick Oxner. I think he would have wanted us to play this set, and I think it's the perfect way to say goodbye to him, one of my best friends. I think it would be really good for everyone to come out and help us say goodbye.

 

Re: TKO SHOW THIS FRIDAY

Posted by ger.  

also, the show will have expenses, since there is a band travelling to play, but after costs if we can figure out a suitable direction to contribute some/all of the profit in Nick's name, that would be good. i hope to see you all there and hopefully we can all take something from this experience and also still have a bit of fun. see you friday? ger.

 

the visitor

Posted by Peter

one night, the last sunday of a month sometime ago, shadowplay was taking place at the marquee. i would spend that long night by myself, babysitting my partners two year old son. i was sitting there on the couch reading and listening to cradle of filth softly, when all of a sudden, there was a knock on the door. to my surprise, it was Nick. he said he heard i wasn't going to be showing up at "goth" night and that he wanted to come visit me. we spent a good hour chatting it up about blackmetal, clothing, women, more blackmetal etc. it was great. then he left. then another shadowplay came around. i was babysitting. nick showed up. he came to keep me company. this happened a few more times. it was alot of fun. he always seemed to be in a cheerful mood. he was a great person. i was babysitting the other night. i was bored. i felt like talking on the phone. i called up a friend, and then found out about Nick. i was very upset. i didn't want to believe it. i just wanted him to knock on my door and visit me. i needed to write something, cause it's hard for me to talk to people. that's what i remember about Nick. i miss him. i miss his smile. and didn't he look great on stage?! my thoughts go out to his family and friends, take care. goodbye Nick

 

Re: Have you ever had the feeling you've been cheated?

Posted by Keith  

Someone once told me that Nick used to wear a cowboy hat to school everyday in elementry, even though everyone made fun of him. I really wanted to share that story just because I think it captures a lot about Nick.

 

My contribution

Posted by Matt  

The first time I met Nick was at St. FX when he was seeing my friend Janice. We were at some party and he wasn't really talking until I said I liked U2 and he called me a ####ing idiot. Then when I mentioned to someone that my favorite song was Crossbearer by Cave In, he seemed surprised. Then he punched my arm when he left.

 

Have you ever had the feeling you've been cheated?

Posted by Jon  

Nick was an extreme person. You felt sort of an extremist just being around him. I have never met someone so honest, intelligent, impressionable, funny, and vain. He could be a very kind hearted friend, and a perfect asshole. Whether it was in grade 12 geology class relating stories to me about humors tattoos he had seen, laughing together at our accounts of favorite Saturday Night Live moments, arguing over the musical worth of a particularly obscure Norwegian black metal artist, or agreeing about the awesome power that was our black metal heroes Diessection, I will miss him. I once saw Nick passionately sing, "I Want You To Want Me," while clutching onto some strange girl he picked out of the audience. I think that can sum up most of what he was about. He really wanted to belong, to have our friendship. Sometimes friendship was impossible with Nick because of the dynamics that made up his personality. Looking back, now that he has gone and taken himself away, I feel as though I have been cheated. Cheated mostly by myself for not knowing him better.

 

Re: Have you ever had the feeling you've been cheated?

Posted by Keith 

Someone once told me that Nick used to wear a cowboy hat to school everyday in elementry, even though everyone made fun of him. I really wanted to share that story just because I think it captures a lot about Nick.

 

looking back

Posted by James  

I was just getting to know Nick over the past year or so, listening to music at his house.. there was always a CD I NEEDED to hear him typing messages to god knows who, while I sat on the "couch" looking a CD jackets. metal shows, Shadow play, hardcore shows, I'd see Nick everywhere, I remember when we first saw Allana and I forced him to talk to her, he was so happy............................

 

What happens when you called his (Nick's) cell....

Posted by J[D]

He would pick up saying... " 1-800-crucial, fukking mosh! " - instead of 'hello' Left me laughing for minutes everytime I called. :End

 

Re: What happens when you called his (Nick's) cell....

Posted by TimG

The best part of that was that he had a special ring for when his parents called. He didn't want to say "Nick Mother-####ing Oxner GO!" when they called him.

 

Nick Oxner

Posted by derrick l hiltz  

I had the chance to know Nick from his days as a nerdy, 15 year old Cafe Ole kid to a mature person with a unique and thoughtful perspective on a lot of things. Just recently we watched a show at the Pavillion from the back of the room and I joked with him that he was now a jaded old guy like I was. He had a wicked sense of humour and could tell a great story (I'll never forget his explanations to me of the Norwegian black metal feuds). This and his great sense of enthusiasm about the things he loved are what I'll remember most about Nick.

 

Nick cont..

Posted by zach  

scene points: pg 15

 

another in a long line of Nick stories

Posted by oERICo  

I will be the first to admoit, i dodn't really know him. he was an aquaitance, but someone i enjoyed seeing. i helped him put up the shitty posters for the good clean fun show. first time i met him. offered me nothing but kindness and friendship. we chatted during the gsay pride parade, shooting the shit with almost a complete stranger. i saw him last on my final night in halifax. flesh made to suffer played. later on i was in reflections. he came up and just chatted. i left him smiling and meshing back into the crowd on the dance floor. goodbye

 

XnickX

Posted by devils_advocate  

i didn't spend much time with xnickx mostly because of my attitude. i don't like calling people or talk to people that don't return my calls/e-mails. my loss in this case. i wrote for his zine back in the day. we spoke our minds and that's what i'll remember most about xnickx. he spoke his mind and he would let differences stop him from being your friend. cheers (non-alcohol beverages) whereever you are devils_advocate happy hairy rob miller out

 

What can i say?

Posted by adrienne  

Hi. I realize that many or most of you have no idea who i am, but anyone who does, knows that I've known Nick since junior high. The events of these last few days have made me think alot, and I know i'm not alone in that. One thing we have to keep in mind is that there is no right or wrong way to deal with a situation of this magnitude and personal nature. All we can do is share our thoughts and help one another. I once worked for a counselling service for which I had to get grief counselling training. What I learned there has gotten me through alot since then personally, and continues to help me through this. I think it's really important that we keep talking about what this means to us, and I don't want anyone to be without someone to listen. My phone number is 489-1957, and anyone can call me, day or night, if they need an ear. My thoughts are with his family and close friends, and I thank you all for already showing so much courage, strength and unity in the face of these difficult times.Keep in touch. adrienne

 

(no subject)

Posted by Toby  

I know Nick didn't like me. But his death has made me rethink many things. I know it doesn't seem like there is any reason for me to post. but i believe there is. I hope everyone will attend the show.

 

Dedications

Posted by Lachlan MacDonald  

So an ancient band I'm still kinda in called Tilted is scheduled to play in Cape Breton tomorrow. When I heard about what happened, I was gonna cancel and stick around to go to the Plan show and just be around. For a few reasons, I have changed my mind. The deciding factor was being able to help provide a province wide rock and roll goodbye to Nick. So Tilted's set tomorrow wil be dedicated to Nick's memory-the little I knew of him. After a Striaght Faced show I ended up with his Earth Crisis hat. I wore it around Halifax for a day before it was given back. Everyone in Halifax go to the Plan show and give your support to those in need. This is when friendship counts.

 

to party or not to party...

Posted by ger.  

okay, so as most of you know, the bloomfield compound was planning a little party for after the show tomorrow... what does everyone think? is it in bad taste to hang out, dance and have fun following what's happened? or do we feel that it would be a good way to take our minds off of things? is it a little too soon, or is this just what the doctor ordered? im terribly conflicted with this whole thing. i almost cancelled the show, but it seems now like we should go through with that... does anyone feel like the get-together afterwards is still worthwhile? lemme know. i can't make all these decisions on my own... take care. ger.

Re: to party or not to party...

Posted by waynefinedays  

i dont think its a bad idea personally i mean its a good way for everyone to get together and be friends and be teher for each other. a way to remember him in a more personally way then while at the show which is still a great way. i dont knwo if any of that makes sense at all except teh first few words

 

Re: to party or not to party...

Posted by J[D]  

Yea, I also think its a good idea. I also couldn't think of a better way to say good-bye to a friend. :End

 

Re: to party or not to party...

Posted by mike  

Exactly.

 

Re: to party or not to party...

Posted by ryan  

i couldnt think of a better way to say bye to nick.. cause everyone knows he was all about partying.

 

then we party.

Posted by ger.  

done.

 

Re: then we party.

Posted by dale  

I think that a get-together would be a big help to everyone who'd known Nick. Especially after a show that's bound to have emotional moments. There'll be lots more time for his friends, this way, to be there for one-another when it counts. I didn't know him but i'd been reading the board and know how it is to lose someone.

 

i'm here

Posted by waynefinedays  

I just wanted to basiclly say that i am here for anyone who needs to a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to, or just someone to be there, and if it helps i will also let people hit/kick me. i have never been through the expirence or suicde of someone iw as really close too but i have dealt with quite a few deaths in teh past few year of people who were the closest to me. a few years back i lost my aunt, then a month later my pop, two years later almos to the excat date of my aunt dying my mom died, and amonth or so after that my nan. this was almost two years ago ut everyday i still feel the hurt and lost. when i heard about nick and stuff and the more i thnk about it, it also brings back teh memories of these other deaths. so just so everyone knows i am also here for them in anyways form or shape. my phone number is 865-7760, even if i dont knwo you or you dont knwo me feel free to call and talk anytime thanks and nick you will be missed, im sorry it had to come to this and you will be remembered

 

the rockstar he was

Posted by Ryan  

Link: http://iam.bmezine.com/u/u/z0udxc/ljbk07r8.jpg

Nick.

Posted by Stephanie  

I didn't know Nick that well but my most memorable moment was him at our EdgeDay party this year...him and Ian started 'moshing' around the apartment to Floorpunch and Nick telling me I wasn't 'crucial' because I didn't give him a hi-five!!

 

Re: Nick.

Posted by Ryan  

that was his favorite word I am going to miss that cabal jersey

 

Re: Nick.

Posted by Carolyn  

Nick was the first 'punk' person who was my friend. He just came up to me in high school and started talking to me one day out of the blue. He was very outgoing like that. We had the same off class so we always used to go over to his house and eat tons of french fries and listen to music. Some really good music. And he'd take me to his band practices and I'd go to Cafe Ole with him and he'd always introduce me to people he knew. The past couple of years, I didn't really see much of him, I'd see him at shows, at raves, we'd always say hi and chit chat, and it still hasn't really sunk in yet that I won't be seeing him again. Ever. My thoughts keep coming back to him and thinking about how lonely he must have felt. It must be the most awful feeling in the world.

 

Re: Nick.

Posted by XCaliber  

I didn't know nick very well but I really liked the guy. He was easily one of the nicest people I've ever met and almost every time I saw him we'd end up in a long sarcastic discussion about straight edge fashion, high fives, the stupid band we had the idea of starting or something equally dumb. He could laugh at himself and just about anything else. Us trying to headwalk at the chitz show is the best memory becasue it captured that sense of humour i think nick had. I never saw this coming.

 

Re: Nick.

Posted by mike s  

mine will be the earth crisis road trip 1) He stole my friends braclet, and claimed he found it on the van floor 2) "Nick, just cause i turn up the music, doesnt mean sing louder" 3) He gave me and JD his cookies when he was half asleep and when he woke up he freaked at us cause he didnt remember 4) the fondling of the stripper 5) Trying to explain to a french kid that ian hart was on his t shirt.

Re: Nick.

Posted by Mark Black  

You know what, as hard as Nick had it sometimes he never seemed to take it out on anyone. I can't remember him ever being intentionally mean to anyone.

 

Re: Nick.

Posted by Drake Mallard  

I didn't know Nick very well, but any time I ever ran into him (which was A LOT last summer, he was everywhere), he always went out of his way to say hi and be nice to me. For all of the negitive things I had heard about him over the years, he turned out to be a really nice guy. I'm going to miss him. My heart goes out to all of his close friends and family.

 

Re: Nick.

Posted by dan  

despite the things we argued about and things ppl said about him, nick was really nice to me and i liked him lots. we made fun of stuff at metal shows and talked about all the hot clothes he has. ill miss him

 

Re: Nick.

Posted by timmyX  

I don't think Nick actually knew who I was until after I met him like ten times. I think he just knew I was some kid at a show. He would always tell me what records were "crucial" and what ones were "not crucial". And everytime I talked to him we would argue over New Balance or Vans. I never really got to know him well but I still think that this is a tragic loss to the world.--------------------timmyX

 

Re: Nick.

Posted by omar  

i never really talked to Nick that much but he always came of to me as a genuine and good guy...he's a loss to the whole scene and i give my condolences to all who were close to him

 

The Deal

Posted by Lachlan MacDonald  

Ok. In light of what has happened to Nick I thought I would make a little post in the hopes of sharing some of the things I have learned about suicide that may help people get through or possibly come to terms if that is possible. Suicide is not the result of any short term situation. Regardless of a current stimulus (if there is any), suicide is most often connected with mental illness, whether diagnosed or not. Most people that commit suicide have lost a battle with mental illness, similarly to the way one loses a battle with cancer. Trying to rationalize reasons for a suicide is not really possible because committing suicide is not a rational act. It most often takes place in the last stages of mental illness, and regardless of prior contemplations, it is usually an impulsive act. A fair number of people do not leave notes, and of those that do, it is rare that it gives any valuable insight to the act. This isn't intended to bring people down, rather from my own experience I know how critical open dialogue and comforting of those affected is in this situation. You can never really be prepared for your life to be affected by suicide, and confusion and questions are likely-so talking is essential. It is a terrible thing to ever have to face, but from experience I know it gets better and easier. While the loss is great, cherising and remembering the life you got to be apart of brings quite a bit of comfort. So here's the deal-I'm a great listener and a good friend to whoever needs it. Anyone feel free to email me or talk to me at the show. I hope to see all of you there. Take care of yourself and someone else. Sincerely, Lachie MacDonald

 

Re: The Deal

Posted by Chrissy  

Thanks for sharing that with us. I was not a friend of Nick's but we did talk from time to time and my heart aches over this. My thoughts are with everyone who has been affected by this.