Not much here yet, and it's all Uthers fault. Heap your hate upon him...
If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle signs...
I once had to wipe my backside on a "If you sprinkle when you tinkle…" sign, a sign which still haunts me like a golem. It's just printed on a sheet of A-4, an office printer job, not laminated or anything, and it hangs in the men's toilets at work. One day, I went into the toilet and did what had to be done, then discovered that there was no toilet paper. Trousers around my ankles, I looking around franticly, until my eyes alighted upon the sign. I tore it off the wall and ran it down my crack, not without some satisfaction, I'll confess - I've always HATED those signs. It turned out that wiping wasn't necessary anyway. That happens sometimes, but rarely when there's no paper left. The god of the bathroom is cruel and unjust. I dropped the sign, crumpled but unsoiled, into the waste- basket rather than the toilet - I had a feeling that it wouldn't flush well - and left the room, pushing the incident from my mind. But, a couple of hours later, I went back into the toilet and there's the sign, blu-tacked back up on the wall, with a clear impression of my arse crack right in the middle of it. Someone - I've never tried to find out who - saw the crumpled sign lying in the bin and took it to be an act of simple vandalism, which they sought to rectify. If only they knew… The sign now hangs above the toilet cistern, at my eye level, and it confronts me every time I go for a slash. I've never had a piss in that toilet since without feeling vaguely guilty.
Lots of stuff to come here - including some actual content. Uther will pay...
