Bored with your beagle? Fed up with your feline? Ticked off your terrapin? Really sick of your rabbits? Harangued with your hamsters? Yes, of course you are. Yes, I can see you clearly, and you are obviously a person of distinction, no common prole or fuck-wad. The everyday man may gawp open mouthed at puppies, cats and chinchillas, but for YOU the thrills of such natural animals has long since faded. You require, you deserve a better class of pet than that. You deserve it because you're BETTER than they are.
You deserve, require and need to buy a pet from PetTech.
PetTech are the only company offering D.N.A offal and genetic aberrations for sale as household pets, and supplies are limited. Order now, or face the tears and hatred of your children. There is, of course, no evidence to back this outlandish statement up, but we feel that if you don't buy your children PetTech pets, they are more likely to grow up GAY, EXPERIMENT WITH DRUGS and be INCOMPREHENSIBLE AND INTROVERTED DURING THEIR TEENS.
CAT #775 - Bonsai Buffalos
Are you sick of your neighbour’s cat shitting on your lawn? They won’t believe their eyes when they see the amount of defecation literally pouring from your Bonsai Buffalo! As well as being world class shitters - and all that manure sure is good for Dads rhubarb! - Bonsai Buffaloes love children, and will toy with them for hours, before goring them to death in a spectacular finale. Bonsai Buffaloes - the pet of the new millennium.
CAT #342 - Ferret-Kitten
Cute, cuddly and incredibly bad tempered. An ideal present for the nephew or niece that you just can’t stand. Watch as the childish yells of joy turn to screams of pain and horror as the adorable little fur-ball sinks its vicious fangs into your kindred’s podgy little forearms! Laugh like a loon as they race round the house in blind panic, upsetting tables and bookshelves and running into walls, the Ferret-Kitten hanging by its teeth from their face, dangling like a big furry scrotum the whole time. Happy, happy times. |  |
ALSO AVAILABLE
*CHIMNEY MONKEYS *FINGER MICE
*PERMA-KITTENS
*CRANE-TURTLE
*CLOCK HORSES
*LONG LEGGED FROGS
*ZERO GRAVITY KITTENS
*TRANSPARENT SNAKES
*TOILET DUCKS
*STEALTH NARWHALES
*GAY ZEBRAS
*RETICULATED BADGER
*INCONGROUS SHREWS
*SOLEMN KITTENS
*BOX-LIONS
*SCAT PARROTS
*ARSELESS PUPPIES
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