American Gothic

A group of friends are flying to an island for a weekend vacation. On the way, their plane breaks down and the are forced to land on an island whose only occupants are a crazy family who eventually tries to kill them all. This movie actually caught me off gaurd, and I actually liked it. The death scenes were clever, the characters were very interesting and diverse, and the general story was perfect for this kind of setting. A true gem. 4 out of 5.

Characters:

• Cynthia:Woman who recently had a breakdown over the death of her baby. Has another breakdown and really flips out.
• Jeff: Cynthia's understanding husband... who is stabbed in the eye with a really sharp statue thing.
• Pa: The strong silent type. Hates everyhting modern and a strongly religous man... who kills people. Shot.
• Ma: Nice little old lady until you find out she's insane. Stabbed with sewing needles.
• Fanny: Forty or fifty year old woman who thinks she's a twelve year old girl. She's pretty good at horseshoes and throwing people off cliffs. Beaten to death.
• Woody: Fanny's little brother. he's only 40. Stabbed with the sharp statue.
• Teddy:Big brother of the family. At one [peoint he raped a corpse, and the gets sliced with a scythe.
• Terri: Pretty smart girl for a blond. Tries to escape the murderous family but gets her neck snapped by Teddy.
• Rob: Lets' the 'kids' push him on the swingset. They cut the rope and he goes sailing over a cliff.
• Lynn: The attitude girl of the bunch. She gets hung by a jumprope.
• Paul: This poor sob gets left to watch over the plane, and pops up later with a hatchet in his head.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 10
• Weapons Used: A swing, a jumprope, arrows, a hatchet, a stick, a metal bassinet, crochet needles, a scythe, and a shotgun.
• Breat Shots: 0
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 2
• Thunderstorms: 0
• Explotions: 0

Random Thought and Things Learned

• These people are from teh eighties. They have no right to make fun of any other decade's clothes or music.
• Rapeing a dead girl is a big no-no in this family.
• Putting a swing next to a sparp cliff is just bad planning.