Carnivore

A genetically altered monster escapes the lab and starts killing pointless people. This movie drove me friggin nuts! I had POINTLESS characters for nothing but to kill time, very poor audio, and a really bad story, complete with a fake looking onster. But you know the really disturbing thing about this movie. The sickest and and most distressing thing of all? It had a cliffhanger ending, that actually made me want to know what was going to happen next! Damn them people! Damn them all to hell! 1 out of 5.

Characters:

• NOTE: I couldn't find any credits for this movie, so bare with me...
• Dana: Chic scientist who is sent to capture the Canrivore alive.
• Carny: At least I called him that. It's the Carnivore that escaped from the lab and kills people. next time they create a monster, they should lay off the plastic.
• Agents North and Liddy: Government agents with uzies sent to get Carny. One of them has a mullet!
• Scott: Teen guy who leads his friends into Carny's abandoned lab. Shows us that men shouldn't wear pink shirts.
• Bobbie: Friend who knows you shouldn't wander into old creepy houses.
• Dee: The topless shic for this movie. Somehow she lives.
• Mark: One of those guys who wears a hat everywhere, even during sex. Slashed.

My Favorite Soft Drinks

• Body Count: 4
• Weapons used: A brick, a needle, and a gun.
• Breast Shots: 1
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 1
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 0
• Mullets: 2

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Government agents always wera sunglasses, even at night.
• Top secret government labs and projects are kept in old house basements.
• The best way to identify blood is to smell it.
• Oh Lord, it speaks.