The Coroner

The story of a young lawyer who is caught, then escapes, the is caught again, then escapes from a mentally unstable coroner who kills women who have attemped suicide. Oh, where do I begin? This ended up being a soft core porn and kind of a fetish one too. But to all of you freaks out there who get off on that stuff, let me warn you there's not really much of it in there so don't waste your time. There is no plot, tons of pointless characters, and the movie was about 45 minuets longer than it had to be. I took the bullet for you on this one. Skip it. 1 out of 5.

Characters:

• Emma: Lawyer woman who gets abducted by an insane doctor and tourchered in his basement.
• Dr. Leon Uraski: The psycho fetish coroner who kills women who have attempted suicide. Impaled.
• Aida: Emma's assistant and friend, who keeps telling her that she's crazy.
• Detective Stryker: Detective in charge of the case who doesn't believe Emma and thinks she's nuts.
• George: Emma's man who is two scenes. One is for a sex scene, and the other is to get his ass kicked by the killer.
• Leon: Asshole laywer, who is a really really pointless character.
• Nadine & Holly: Hooker and a striper. Not good professions to be in in a horror movie. Killed.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 5
• Weapons Used: A knife, a car door, a gun, a rock, a stun gun, a sword, a tennis ball, a nailgun, plyers, a chain, a broom stick, and fire.
• Breast Shots: 4
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 0
• Ominous thunderstorms: 1
• Explosions: 1
• Porno scenes: 2

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• He's reading a newspaper in the dark! That means he has to be bad!
• Uh oh, porno music queing up....
• Never let your boyfriend meet the man you're touchering in your basement.