Critters 4

What can I say that you haven't assumed on your own? In case you didn't know, this is a Critters In Space movie. Need I say more? Ok, this is the most boreing piece of crap that has ever taken place in space. Why, oh why, was that space station abandoned? There could have been dozens of killable people to play with! There are no cool, death scenes or likeable characters. Stay away unless you just love those little balls of fur. 1.5 out of 5.

Characters:

• Ethan: Space brat who wants to go to earth. Doesn't happed kiddo.
• Charlie: The Critter bounty hunter who is accidently sent to the future. How this guy ever managed to make a living as a bounty hunter is beyond me.
• Rick: Captian of the ship who gets a little greedy and then becomes Critter chow.
• Al Bert: Thats the way he's credited. He's like a mentor to Ethan or something. Shot and presumed dead.
• Fran: The piolet of the ship, and the only one thats not a complete idiot.
• Bernie: Some sort of ship-hand. Spends most of his time trying to loot drugs from the pharmacey. DIES!
• Ug: Here is your surpreme bad guy of the future. His name is Ug if that tells you anything. The future looks very bleak indeed. Shot in the head.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 7
• Weapons Used: Fire extinguisher, and guns.
• Breast Shots: 0
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 2
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 1

Random Thought and Things Learned

• Wow! What great special effects! (cough cough)
• Captains of space ships are assholes.
• In the future, all space soilders dress like Darth Vader.
• There's a reason computers should not be given the personality of a woman.
• Why would you need sunglasses in space?