Dark Universe (1993)

A cheaply built space ship crashes into a remote swamp, and a team is sent to investigate the wreckage. What they find instead is mutated animals and insects who are chomping everything in site. My biggest problem with the film is that the main creature is a blatant rip-off (see above pic) of the creature from the 'Alien' movies. Other than that it was fun cheese all around. Everything from the space shuttle to the 'human flashbacks' of the creature were pure cheesiness. Check it out. 3 out of 5.

Characters:

Tom: Backwoods swamp guide who helps the team find the missing shuttle.
Kim: Reporter who goes along with the team to scoop the shuttle crash. Not exactly the most professional journalist I've even seen.
Judy: Tom's woman who spend most of the time in their straw shack. (They inheritied it from the second little piggy)
Frank: Scientist who leads the team toward the doomed craft. Gets bitten and his neck explode with what appears to be a giant zit growing off of it.
Jack: Kim's producer who is part sleezebag and part nerd. Chomped.
Steve: The astronaut who crashed into the swamp. Underwent some sort of mutation that tunred him into a 'Alien' rip-off. Blown up.
Rod: Owns a cheapspace program. Kinda like 'If you like NASA, try this!' Tries to make cheaper space shuttles and fails. I guess they forgot to include the part that lets you land safely without being turned into a monster.
Ann: Horney girl who goes birdwatching with her man. Sucked.
Rich: Nerdy ass birdwatcher who is to busy to have sex with is woman. Gooed on and presumed dead.

The Totals:

Body Count: 8
Weapons Used: Guns, a knife, and a flare gun.
Breast Shots: 2
Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 5
Ominous thunderstorms: 0
Explosions: 2

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

If you're in space, and someone knocks on your door from outside... don't answer it!!!
Meteorites are funny.
(cough) ripoff (cough)!
See, thats why people don't make houses out of straw!