Decampitated (1998)

A group of idiot friends decide to go camping in the woods. However since they are idiots, they get lost and are soon attacked... repatedly, by a killer in hunting clothes. Note, that no one actually dies until the very end; they are just badly wounded. This is a Troma release, and it's pretty much hit and miss with them. Maybe I had to high of expectations. I found the characters to be annoying, and they changes settings too much. From camp, to a cabin, to another cabin, to the car, to the cabin, ect. Totally skippable unbless you totally dig all of the Troma humor. 2 out of 5.

Characters:

• Garrett: Goofy blond idiot who puts the whole trip together. Finally.... finally bleeds to death from a machete wound.
• Vince: The only black dude in the whole movie, which makes you think he's screwed right? He's the only one from the pack of morons that lives.
• Roger: Nothing interesting about this guy except he has a water spicket sticking out of his chest. Later he also gets chopped in the head with a machete.
• Toby: Nerdy guy who gets his throat damaged early on, and therefore has to write everything down for the remaining hour. Oh yeah... that got annoying real quick. Eventually gets decapitated by wire.
• April: Gary's girlfriend of sorts. Gets her arm sliced off early on but luckily finds some tree sap to glue it back on. Don't ask. Eventually gets shot.
• Paige: One of the most whiney characters I've ever beheld in my years of watching horror cinema. Gets her ear torn off with a fishing hook, and later accidently stabbed.
• Candace: The bitch of the movie. The kind of chick who would steal off of her dead friend. Stabbed.
• Jake: Cross dressing football player who lives in a cabin in the woods. Yeah...
• Myles: The killer. Has like two scenes in the whole movie before getting shot. And he's like five feet tall.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 9
• Weapons Used: A gun, bear traps, a machete, a stick, a hammer, a weedeater, paper, a fishing poll, a bow and arrows, a severed arm and wire.
• Breast Shots: 0
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 3
• Ominous thunderstorms: 1
• Explosions: 0

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Bears don't stand a chance in these woods!
• Weedeaters are brought along on camping trips.
• Never let the girl without the ear make the phone call to the ploice.