Eight Legged Freaks

This movie is a parody of the old school giant spider movie of the fifties and sixties. This movie had great effects nad was hilarious. There were a few really cool action sequences with spider attacks, including a few dirt bikers fleeing from the critters. 4 out of 5.

Characters:

• Chris: Prodical son of sorts. Returns to his hometown just as giant spiders start to run amuck. That's the reason I don't visit home much.
• Samantha: Sheriff of the town, and crush of Chris's.
• Mike: Smantha's kid who knows a lot about spiders, and looks a little like Harry Potter.
• Ashley: Teen daughter of Smantha's. Likes to zap guys in the crotch with a stun-gun.
• Harlan: Local radio personality who is paranoid about the government and aliens. Spiders are on that list now too.
• Pete: Deputy of the town, and a dufuss in general.
• Wade: Coorupt mayor of the town who has reallybad teeth and a pony tail. Somehow... lives?
• Bret: Wade's son and Ashley's boyfriend who likes to ride dirt bikes.
• Leon: Mine worker and old friend of Chris's. Chomped on.
• Gladys: Aunt of Chris who smokes. Doesn't understand why lighting a match in a gas filled mine would be bad. Lives...
• Joshua: Spider farmer who discovers the bugs. Sooooo chomped on...
• Floyd & Leroy: Local barbers who charge four dollars for a shave and get chomped on by spiders.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 33ish. I DARE you to get a better count!
• Weapons Used: Walls, wireing, a stun gun, a truck, a chair, guns, a ladder, a pitchfork, a chainsaw, a crossbow, perfume, matches and gas.
• Breast Shots: 0
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 1
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 3

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• People in small towns don't like facial hair.
• Insanly paranoid people don't lock their doors.
• Jason?
• Tents are not as innocent as they may look.