Elves

A group af nazis created a genetic elf to be an assassin and to mate with an inbred virgin on x-mas eve, and only Grizzly Adams can stop it. You think I'm joking, don't you? Sadly, I'm not. Thats what the plot of this movie is about. It's funny, but I doubt that the humor was intentional. The elf (yes elf, not elves) looked pretty crappy, and the face didn't move at all. It looked like what it was; a puppet. No real gore to speak of either. Watch this one only to laugh at it. 1.5 out of 5.

Characters:

• Kirsten: The heroine of the film because she is the one the evil elf puppet is after. Also, she is out 17 year old inbred virgin.
• Mike: It's Grizzly Adams! He's a former cop who is kinda homeless right now and is the new Santa at the mall.
• Grandfather: Not sure what his name is, but he's Kirsten's grandpa... and father! Jerry! Jerry!
• Amy: Friend of Kirsten's and walks around lingerie of a good portion of the movie. Shot by the Nazis.
• Brooke: The airhead of the group. Gets hunted down and stabbed by the elf puppet.
• Mom: This woman is evil! This is the kind of bitch that you know is going to die the first time she speaks. EVIL! Electrocuted in the bathtub by the elf.
• Willy: Kirsten's freak brother who likes to see his sisters naked.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 9
• Weapons Used: A candle, a knife, pills, a radio, guns, an Elf Stone, and dirt.
• Breast Shots: 1
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 3
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 1
• Pop-up bodies: 1
• Ornaments destroyed: 2

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Guns are great gift ideas for mom.
• Nazis created elves.
• Mullets give Nazis super human strenght.
• Clumps of dirt is not an effective weapon against an elf.