Ghosts Of Mars

Going into this movie, i prepared myself well. John Carpenter appears to be on a downward spiral, and I told myself not to expect too much. I also knew that a rapper was the main star of the flick. As a general rule, I try to steer clear of movies that star any kind of singer ( wether it be Britany, Snoop Dog, or Mariah carrey) and especially athletes (like Shaq, Chuck Norris, and yes, even The Rock) because those movies tend to suck donkey ass. I think I prepared myself well, because I wasn't too terribly disappointed in this movie. Ice Cube actually did a pretty good job playing the strong-silent type, even if he was a 'thug.' I'm not sure what to call the creatures, so I'll just refer to them as zombies. I grant this movie a 3 out of 5.

Characters

• Melanie: Natasha Henstridge! Plays a cop trying to escort a prisoner back to her city to await trial. That plan goes to shit very quickly. She's addicted to some futuristic drug that ends up saveing her life( a nice message for the kids) in the end.
• Desolation Williams: Ice Cube! Plays the prisoner. Kicks some possesed ass.
• Jericho: Has an accent and knows how to use it. Zombie Chow
• Helena Braddock: Pam Grier! Leader of the mission until she loses her head! Har har! Sorry. Head on a stick. And I think she was a lesbian.
• Bashira Kincaid: One of 2 rookies. Gets her head chopped off by the Frizzbes Of Death.
• Descanso: The other rookie. Also chopped up by those damn Frizzbes Of Death!
• Whitlock: The one who accidently let the ghosts escape. Possesd in the end.
• Uno: He and Dos and Tres helped Desolation escape. Desolation's brother. Possesed
• Dos: Cuts his thumb off, and accidently blows himself up with a gernade. Genius.
• Tres: Killed by a spear of some kind.
• 3 prisoners and 2 cops: Unimportant undeveloped characters who die unimportant deaths.
• Big Daddy Mar: As listed in the credits. The leader of the zombies. Looks like The Crow on major steroids! See pic.

The Totals

• Body Count: 13 (not counting the 200 zombies)
• Weapons used: Guns, Frizzbes of Death, explosives, and other weapons manufatured by the zombies.
• Random Breast Shot: 0
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 0
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: Dozens

Random Thoughts

• Pam Grier is......a decapitated head is on a stick!
• Those Frizzbes Of Death are awsome!
• Doesn't a neuclear blast emit an EMP which turns off all electronic devices? Then how is that train still working?
• Where did these zombies get those swords from? Is this Midevil Mars?
• I don't understand why they keep killing them if they just posses someone else when they die. I'd just shoot 'em all in the kneecap and call it a day.
• Take notes kids! Drugs can save your life!