Grim Praire Tales

With a name like Grim Praire Tales, one would assume that you would get a movie that would have some suspence, some gore, and maybe a twist or two. You get none of that in this movie. Imagin Little House on the Prairie meets Tales From the Hood, only not scary. There was nothing really redeeming about this movie that I can think of. I'll give it half a point because we get to see some guy get sucked into a woman through her vagina. 0.5 out of 5.

Characters

• Morrison: Burly man. The one who tells the 'tales.'
• Farley: City Slicker.
• Lee: Old man who crosses an Indian burial ground. Buried alive.
• Tom: A business man traveling home. Sucked up.
• Jenny: Pregnet womwn.
• Arthur: Pioneer father. Racist.
• Maureen: Poineer mother.
• Eva: Their daughter.
• Martin: A gunman. Obsessive compulsive. Throat slit.
• Sarah: Prostitute.
• Dr. Leaderman: Pointless character.
• Bluey: Henchman of sorts.
• Horn: Rich guy.
• Colochez: A gunslinger. Dead.
• Dying Chief: Bites Lee's ear.

The Totals

• Body Count: 10
• Weapons Used: A gun, a noose, and a blade.
• Random Breast Shot: 0
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 0
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 0

Random Thoughts

• I thought these were suppose to be scary.
• What.... the.... hell? Did she just suck that guy into her...yeah.
• This is like an evil version of Little House on the Prairie.
• These stories keep getting worse and worse.
• I feel robbed.