Happy Birthday to Me

A girl moves back to her hometown and makes new friends with the 'Top Ten' group. Soon they start dieing in very gruesome ways. It's one of those movies where the lead character thinks that she's going crazy, and we start to wonder if she's the one killing people after all. But a lot of the characters are psycho, so it's hard to tell, and it does have a decent twist at the end. Cool eighties horror. 3.5 out of 5.

Characters:

• Virginia: Girl who moves back to her home town. She has lots of issues with her family and new friends. Then they start dieing. Hummmm....
• Dr. David Faraday: Virginia's doctor who is helping her remember her past. Smashed over the head with a firepoker. It beats paying the bill.
• Ann: Virginia's best friend. Ends up being her sister and gets stabbed.
• Alfred: Creepy guy who carries a pet rat named George. Nice enough guy, but gets stabbed in the cemetery.
• Steve: A not-so-slick memebr of the group. Stabbed in the mouth with a shish kebab.
• Maggie: Blonde chick who is one of the dude's girlfriends. I think she actually lived.
• Rudi: Goofy guy of the group who likes to pull pranks.
• Amelia: Gregs' girlfriend.
• Greg: A stupid driver who gets squashed while lifting weights.
• Bernadette: Killed very early on, vis being sliced up with a razor.
• Etienne: Asshole friend who steals panties and hates the Hundred Bottles of Beer song. Face grinded into his motorcycle wheel.
• Hal: Virginia's father who was neglectful when she was younger. Dies at the end.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 9
• Weapons Used: A razor, a scarf, a motorcycle, weights, a knife, a shish kebab, and a fire poker.
• Breast Shots: 0
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 2
• Thunderstorms: 2
• Explosions: 0
• Corpses wearing party hats: 8

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Shriners really like the Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall song.
• Priests are really squimish at the sight of blood.
• Corpses don't make lively party guests.