Horror House on Highway Five (1985)

A trio of college (cough cough) students are sent to a small town to investigate... something. Anyway, they run across cult members who attempt to kill them. This is a very whacked film, and not in the good funny way. Things just made no sense,a and the plot... well, it never made an appearance. But by far, the craziest thing about this movie is the actor who played 'Richard Nixon' was really named Ronald Reagan. No, not that Ronald Reagan. What the hell?! 1 out of 5.

Characters

• Louise: The smart girl out of the bunch. You'd have to be a complete idiot to get killed by these guys to start with, but it does happen.
• Sally: The girl (?) sent to interview a wacko for information. Sge gets abducted and after many long tedious scenes of bad acting, she gets hit over the head with a bomb and is dead.
• Mike: The slacker/stoner of the group. Gets a rake impaled into his skull and walks around like that for a while before bleeding to death.
• Dr. Marbuse: The wacko scientist who is trying to bring an evil being back to life. Starts leaking maggots from his head. Hit over the head with a tire iron.
• Gary: Idiot brother of Marbuse who developes a crush on Sally for some unseen reason.
• Richard Nixon: He's the killer. At least that's what he's credited as. But really it's some guy in a mask. And the actors name? Ronald Reagan! I shit you not.

The Totals

• Body Count: 8
• Weapons Used: An iron, a car, a rake, a drill, explosives, a tire iron and a rocket.
• Breast Shots: 1
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 1
• Thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 1

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Skeletons can smile.
• The reason why most people don't have glass coffeetables...
• Don't fuck with Richard Nixon!
• Reason #413 not to hitchhike: Richard Nixon might jump out of the trunk and try to kill you.