King Cobra

Yes, another giant snake movie. The thing that strikes me as odd, is that in several places on the net, they have it labled as Anaconda 2. It was nothing like Anaconda in any way. It was a straight-to-video release, and it shows it in every way. The acting, the special (cough cough) effects, and story were all cheesy as hell. If you really like giant snake movies, then check it out. Otherwise, skip this generic piece-o-crap. 1.5 out of 5.

Characters:

• Dr. Brad: Small town doctor who wants to move to a big city.
• Jo: Brad's woman who is also a cop fpr the town.
• Dr. Burns: Creates the giant mutant snake thing, and gets a cool eye patch in the process.
• Nick: Expert snake guy. Has been biten by snakes 167 times. Wait, 168...169... 170...171...172...
• Mayor Ed: Jo's father. Tris to ignore the killer snake until it's too late.
• Dr. Pat: Brad's dad. Chomped.
• Sheriff Ben: The kind of cop that spits in every scene. Chomped.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 12
• Weapons Used: Guns, poles, and gas.
• Breast Shots: 0
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 3
• Ominous thunderstorms: 1
• Explosions: 1
• Power outages: 1

Random Thought and Things Learned

• Snake teeth fall out easily.
• Hide & seek is more fun when you're half naked.
• Snake's shed their skin multiple times a day.
• Japanesse people don't run well.
• Ewwwww.... snake spit!
• He can dodge bullets, but not a drop kick!
• It's a good thing that huge 40 foot metal pipe is camouflaged, otherwise it would look out of place.