My Bloody Valentine

An urban legend becomes reality when a killer returns to kill like he promised to if the local town ever held a Valentines dance again. The killer wore a miner's outfit complete with a gas mask, which looked really bad-ass. The death scenes were pretty cool, and the story was decent as well. See this one. 4 out of 5.

Characters:

• TJ: Rebel guy who skipped out of town a year earlier and decided to return.
• Sarah: The girl the TJ left behind, She's got a new man now.
• Axel: Sarah's new man. He has a job, a nice car, and the tendancy to kill people. You know, the kind of guy you want to bring home to meet your mother.
• Hollis: Gig burly guy that gets shot in the head with some sort of nailgun.
• Howard: The joker of the group. Hung, and not in the good way.
• Patty: Hollis's woman. Becomes the whiney bitch towards the end, but is soon stabbed with a pick.
• Sylvia: Head impaled on a pipe.
• Mike & Harriet: Nice couple, who get impaled on a drill.
• Dave: Pothead who gets his face boiled in hot dog water.
• Mabel: Old lady that is putting the dance together. Killed and stuffed in a dryer.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 16
• Weapons Used: A pick axe, a knife, a dryer door, hot dog water, a drill, a nailgun, a log, a shovel, and a rock.
• Breast Shots: 0.
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 1
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 1
• Pop-up bodies: 3

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Well, I guess technically it was a heart attack.
• If women are not allowed in the mine, then why did they have a female miner in the beginning?
• Human hearts are not as romantic of a gift as it might seem.