Nail Gun Massacre

A woman is raped, and a nut goes lose killing his victims with a nailgun. That's the plot. This movie was funny as hell to watch, as long as you don't try to actually follow what's happening. The movie had really cheesy music lines, acting, and death scenes. At one point, someone falls to their death and you see their leg pop back into the picture. Obviously, the stuntman fell onto an air cushion and it bounced him a little, and the camera caught this 'phantom leg.' Kinda funny. See this movie, but be drunk, stoned, or very tolerant if you do. 3 out of 5.

Characters:

• Dr Jones: No, not the cool Dr Jones. This guy spends his time driving around declaring people dead, and doing more police work that the cops.
• Linda: Some chic that works at the lumber yard that gets raped in the beginning.
• Tom: Local burly sheriff guy... that... uh... has a beard!
• brad: One of the rapists, who gets nailed in stomach and crotch.
• Mark: Fellow rapist shot with a nail gun and hand sliced off with a chainsaw.
• Lerroy: White trash rapist killed early on.
• Hal, Anne, abd Ben: Three drifters who find more than work. All nailed.
• Bubba: The killer's name is Bubba? Oh my. Wears a portable nailgun and compressor. Also dresses in camoflage and a helmet wrapped in tape.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 16
• Weapons Used: A nailgun, a chainsaw, a grill, and nails. Lots and lots of nails.
• Breast Shots: 3. Hell ya!
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 1
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 0
• Spontaneous Evil Laughter: 11
• Moral of the story: Don't rape people.

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• White trash is fun and easy targets.
• I'll play doctor with you!
• OUCH! Now that's just wrong man...
• Never hitchhike in a hearse.
• High speed chase at 30mph!
• Hearses are not meant to be driven down gravel pits.
• Bubba? Who the hell is Bubba?